“Main plot points: The Cullens leave Forks, as Edward thinks this will be best for Bella Swan. Because she has no sense of independence, she falls apart without her man. After a few months, she catches up with Jacob Black, and they become BFFs. But Jacob becomes of age, and becomes a werewolf. Bella's taken up extreme sports because they bring on auditory hallucinations of Edward. When word comes through that Bella jumps off a cliff, Edward assumes she committed suicide, and thus decides suicide is his solution, too. His method, however, is to piss off the vampire royalty (the Volturi) in Volterra, Italy. So Bella has to stop Edward - and herself, and the other Cullens - from being killed. Meanwhile, Victoria (the evil female vamp from Twilight) is on the loose in Seattle, killing as she may.
In short: This introduces new plot threads, but doesn't tie any up; thus it's a rather "between" book (whereas Twilight was easily read as a standalone). Once Bella gets over her emoness, and starts connecting with Jacob, New Moon is actually quite enjoyable. Okay, Jacob is a bit of a d-bag when he comes into his werewolfism, but that's to be expected. And hello, Native American beefcake. But when we find out that Edward isn't dead (yet), Bella treats Jacob horribly, and Edward's a real bee-yatch. And already in the first chapter of Eclipse, he's being even more of a feckwit, but we'll save further comment when it comes to reviewing that tome...
And now to the nitty gritty random thoughts whilst reading:
-Klutzy Bella works at a sporting goods store? Damn it, where's a competent employee when you need one?
-Real Quotes - Edward: "Don't be melodramatic, please." Bella: "Well then, don't you be ridiculous." I was thinking, Harden the eff up, and get over yourselves, but close enough. *applauds*
-If the Forks and Denali vamps are the goodies, and the Italian and possibly-Canadian ones aren't, does that make US vamps good and foreigners evil? I don't approve of that social commentary.
-Bella likes Jacob, so she can be the older one for a change. She's robbing the cradle. He's robbing the grave.
-Bella has a motorcycle. She's a wild hog, y'all!
-So the bear sightings...Werebear? Or just a werewolf?
-Hallucination = adrenaline + stupidity. I only have stupidity, so this could explain my lack of hallucinations. Huh.
-Missing hiker? Feckdiddly, the wereCareBear's eaten a person!
-Stalker Bella phones Jacob every thirty minutes. Jacob acts angry and emo like Edward, but calls Bella a hypocrite, so Team Jacob FTW! :-)
-Bella should call a hit on Victoria. Forks Mafia, Vampire Hunters. Spinoff! Also, Paul has given us our first fursplosion! :-)
-"I made the werewolf seem downright normal." Idlewild has a term for this: "In Competition for the Worst Time". Great song. But Bella sucks.
-"It was only when I saw clear drops sparkling in my hands that I realised I was crying." Crikey, Bella cries sparkles!
-Bella thinks it's totally okay that she wants to become a vampire, but it's not cool that Gianna wants to. Double standards...
-Bella says thirty like it's a bad thing. If I were thirty, I'd totally take offence to that. Bitch.”
