“"After the Loving" is very domestic, very detailed--probably exactly what some readers like, but I found the detail repetitious at times. I also thought the tone sometimes crossed the line from thoughtful to preachy, but again I have a feeling such directness probably appeals to many readers.
Russ's attitude gave me food for thought. Of course he's right that Velma obsesses over her weight, but he's remarkably intolerant of his partner's weaknesses; over and over he says that despite how wonderful they are together, her insecurities are nothing but vanity and if she can't change in a hurry, he's "out of here". Is it tough love, or disturbingly perfectionist? Accepting of Velma's body, or dismissive of her anxieties? Supporting a strong woman, or not allowing her to show any weakness? I think the book comes down firmly on his side: Velma needs to shape up her attitude, not her body, to earn his love.
The book is so message-laden that I found myself looking for messages in any strange detail that was emphasized more than once--and there were quite a few. Intellectuals (outside of Greek fraternities) are pot-heads with no respect for property? Given a conflict of interest between an old friend's business and a lover's, don't be honest with the friend?
The other characters act as a sort of Greek chorus, reinforcing the book's messages--particularly the uneven power dynamic between Velma and Russ. Velma's sister and brothers-in-law make it clear that Velma needs to tailor her sense of humor to suit Russ; she needs to learn to respect his way of doing things above her own; she needs to change her thinking to fit his. The "give" in the relationship is very one-sided. I can't help but wonder... will he be as unsympathetic if Velma ever goes through post-partum depression?”