"Freedom is never more than one generation from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."
- Ronald Reagan from "Encroaching Control (The Peril of an Ever Expanding Government)"
Property is the fruit of labor.....property is desirable.....is a positive good in the world. That some should be rich shows that others may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.
- Abraham Lincoln, March 21,1864
"I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me."
- Sheldon from Big Bang Theory
"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid."
- Jack Handey
"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists
dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad
guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead.
Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."
- Ted Nugent
"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade."
- Jack Handey
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
- Elbert Hubbard
"There are no good guns. There are no bad guns. Any gun in the hands
of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a decent person
is no threat to anybody -- except bad people."
- Charlton Heston
"Now, your stereotypical donut is nothing but dough and sugar fried in fat, am I right? Now that fat gums up your arteries and goes to your brain, and you turn liberal. And the next thing you know, Barry Manilow is on the turn-table and you're not going to work and you're voting for gun control. You see what I'm saying? You see the connection? That's why I eat granola."
- Sledge Hammer
"We have the best Congress that money can buy."
- Will Rogers
"Every breath you take, every move you make... I'll be watching you. That's police talk."
- Sledge Hammer
"Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books."
- Jack Handey
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