My name is Melanie Elizabeth koehler.I am a sophomore at St. Augustine High School currently. I live in St.Augustine Florida.My church that I go to is F.W.C. When I grow up I want to finish highs school and graduate.Go to a community college.Go and become a pastry chef.Own my own restaurant and have my own show.Then after I have all this I want to marry and have 2 children.On my moms side of the family my grandpa and grandma are still alive.On my dads side my grandparents are dead except for my other one paw paw and na na.In the past two years I have been hospitalized 4 times so they say that I have a mood disorder , Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.My mother and father are not married any more they are divorced but my mom has remarried 3 times since then.Right now her current husband is Chris but we don't get along very well he yells at me for everything that I do. I have 7 sisters and 2 brothers.My oldest sisters are Letha23, Collen 20, Leslie 21, and Madelynn 20.The youngest sisters are Katie Bug 12, Victoria 5, and Angelina 2.My younger brothers are John John 14, and Johnathan Junior. 7.I am a bookworm so bad like if I'm reading and you try to talk to me I would ignore you.Lol.I am also a geek because people say that I am pretty but I love school a lot.I also write my own poetry people love it I actually published them for contests with The world poetry movement and won three times so my poem was published in their books.I also have written about 2 books and had them published already but their no good.I am 17 years old 5'0' and I weight 161 lbs. which is overweight for me.I have Exercise induced Asthma so therefor I am unable to do any Physical exercise.I have started to go on a diet to eat better. I love any form of art because I also paint in my spare time but I use expressionism.I am more of a computer designer then I am a paper artist.I am a poetic artist.I use my words to paint beautiful pictures.I am a high school student but I have had to deal with the pain of love and loss.I am only 17 years old but I still know what its like to get hurt emotionally.Someone once told me "An artist is someone who never quits" so me I'm an artist.These thoughts they don't all come at once.Poetry isn't organized or thought out its written and submitted without a second look.I realized no one wants to talk to me they just want to get away from me.I am not like others I don't wear designer or name brand clothes.Its like this poem I know from a book I read but I cant remember it at the moment so I will leave it at this :
Lonely am I as I go to school
Lonely am I as the kids a cruel
Lonely are the days
Lonely I will stay
Lonely are the years
So lonely am I, that it brings tears.
Lonely is this place
Lonely on my face
Lonely is my life
Lonely am I, that I reach for a knife
Lonely am I as I start to sleep
Forever more my family will weep
As the days do wear on
We will see
The loneliness that ruled me
This poem explains a lot of bad stuff that is true for me.I realize that I put it out to people where they think hey she has friends and she is with a guy and she doesn't care that we don't like her.But that's not true.I don't have any friends that I talk to or hang out with at all.My dad had a court date and he is not getting out of jail this time he is going to spend some real time in there.I hate that I have cutting issues but you know what it feels so good.I feel a surge of relief when I cut myself. Well if any of you guys don't know me I am bisexual so but I like girls more because the know where to touch and kiss and well yeah I wont go into that on here its inappropriate and I don't want people to report my profile because I said stuff like that.I love to watch horror and romance and comedy movies mainly horror though but I cant watch them at night or I wont be able to go to sleep.I am a very emotional person if you have something to say then say it to me and not someone else and I will try to resolve the issue. I am on a diet right now ans so far its working.
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