“This book so far is a page turner of 216 pages, which will be finished in one day. It’s not what happens around us, or to us, but within us that really counts, but when it comes to applying it.
Problems arise in communication when; people do not communicate truthfully.
I observed that most people:
1. Live in either past or future.
2. Take a pill to cure things
3. Dissatisfied with themselves
4. Chase success but seem never satisfied
5. Always wanting more of this or that: possessions
6. Suffer from unnatural fears called phobias
7. Do not love self
8. Cannot love others
Why do so many go to therapists for help?
4. Self contempt
a. All are neurotic behaviors
Why do we use up our precious moments for living by worrying about something which we cannot do anything about? It is pointless.
Guilt: if you do something that you dislike, such as use bad language to your parents, you close your eyes and just feel guilty for one minute and then release it and go about your day.
Guilt is a sign to change your behavior and thinking process.
A good solution: Live only in the present moment!
When people are living fully in the moment there is no need to cause hurt or pain to others.
You become obsessed by what you have done or have not yet done, this guilt is not reality. It is your mental state. There is no guilt. Learn from your mistakes and avoid bad or negative behavior and vow to make a mental note to change it. All the guilt does is STOP you from correcting your behavior.
Guilt thoughts are:
• Should have
• Would have
• Could have
o thoughts but they are only thoughts
By saying you should have -people are telling other people that they did not do something as well as they might have. What purpose is served by rehashing what you should or shouldn’t have done? It’s over, done with! Forgive yourself and others and move ahead.
Why are people afraid of elevators? It is the attitude people have towards small, closed spaces. But in reality elevators scare me is not true, it’s your thoughts that create that reality.
What is acrophobia?? It is the fear of heights or high places.
First you chose to think anxiously, and then you blame the results on anxiety itself, rather than on your own choices. This thought process behind saying I am having this or that attack…
When people assign responsibility for their anxiety to some mythical anxiety attack, they need a second myth to correct the original. The second myth is the antidote, such as a tranquilizer, will rid them or their imagined anxiety.
You have power over what you decide to think. This is your reality.
Most people have learned to make an incorrect choice because it’s easier to blame someone else for their anxiety than to accept responsibility for it and rid themselves of it.
People want to avoid taking responsibility for their problems including their anxiety. This gives them an excuse when it comes to doing what is necessary to change.
Wrong way reality
You chose unhappiness by blaming someone or something else for your problems, circumstances, etc.
HINT: blame account/Blame bank: Just take the blame and put it into the blame bank or account and leave it there. Let it go.
Blaming others lets you avoid having to take risks. It makes it easy to explain why they are unfulfilled, and it reduces the options they have to change.
Blaming the poison, rather than themselves for the ill effects. It’s like blaming the mirror for what it reflects.
How can the stock market control a person’s emotions? I checked into the stock market and I found that it has no connection with human emotional conditions, yet I heard many, many people blaming the market for their unhappiness.
People in fact, elect their _______________through self-defeating choices, and then blame others for their conditions.
Everything seems to be in the blame category. It all seems to boil down to self responsibility vs. blaming others.
Obviously those who accept responsibility for themselves and live their lives are few and far between.
Sayings like, “my father’s alcoholism made me what I am today” are not correct -it is an excuse and it is incorrect. Your parent’s where doing what they knew best at that time. Excuses are not the answer.
People blame everything else so they do not have to change their incorrect thinking, which is really the cause of their fears and incorrect thinking.
Schools, colleges, parents, etc… tell people to learn to think for themselves, but you rarely allow them to do it. Instead you provide them with an education that discourages decision making at every turn. You give them lessons on becoming self confident and then take away the very experiences that would lead to that end. At night homes have TV programs that show them how to pursue the exact opposite of self-esteem.
Conforming is instilled rather than being independent or creative. You make being an independent thinker extremely difficult, particularly for young people.
In order to be progressive in life you have to be independent.
Thinking and have new ideas. You make such a big thing about progress and then do everything possible to stand in the way of the only people who can bring it about those how think for themselves and are not afraid of new ideas.
You cannot ever grow into a self respecting adult if you are learning to conform and fit in. If you are just like everyone else, then what do you have to offer?
If you want young people to be disciplined you must teach them from the earliest moment of their lives to become their own person.
Stop trying to please everyone else. Finally, the idea of respecting your elder makes no more sense than the reverse that is, respecting your juniors. Respect is earned, and being older or younger is not relevant.
It’s as if the ads; media, TV etc have a conspiracy to keep people neurotic in order to maintain the economy. When people think like conformist, they all go out and buy the right things so they can be just like everyone else. It helps the economy when people are convinced that they can purchase sex appeal and many people benefit when dependency and self--depreciation are encouraged.
Those with little or no confidence in themselves, and no innovative ideas, become servants to those who give the orders. Then those in charge, who are equally afflicted with self-doubt, conspire to create an entire society of unhappy conformists.
Victimized by others and they defended their actions with “it’s only my job” or “everyone else does it” so you create jobs of conformism and the systems seems to work.
We must stop thinking about what is not working and why. In the little time left we have on earth we should always seek solutions.
All problems stem from the way you teach your children to think. If you are ever going to achieve true evolution as people, you must somehow break the “thinking chain” that keeps you in behavioral bonds.
Three types of people exsist:
1. Let’s make it happen?
2. It can’t happen?
3. What happened?
4. If you change your thinking then you can improve your world and make it really work for everyone.
The problems that arise in:
politics, religion, education, families, business, the military, society, medicine, and every form of human enterprise are due to self- programmed unreal thinking.
• Thinking incorrectly
• Un correct thinking
• Thinking is out of focus, or blurred thinking which lead to self destructive thoughts.
• Out of focus.
A rule thinker is one who does what they are told, regardless of the situation.
Rules oriented thinking places the responsibility for behavior on the rule, rather than the individual. When rules, laws, and policies are held accountable as the cause of human thinking, ethics must take a back seat.
When people base their behavior on what others tell them is correct, ethical thinking is almost impossible and the opportunity for fulfillment and happiness is taken away.
Happiness is an inner experience, rules are outer experiences. Ethics are inner rules which never allow a person to behave in a way that would be harmful to
Ethical thinking-would teach people how to think for themselves.
The need for so many rules for almost every facet of your lives would be eliminated. You have rules for virtually everything, including when you can have a beer, what god will do to you if you are not obeying the laws, and even what courses you must take in schools.
How can people learn to become decision makers if all decisions are already make for them by the rules and policies that you seem to rely upon so heavily?
Domination thinking involves victimizing or controlling others. Much of the thinking I have noted is directed toward the defeat of others, whether it is nation defeat nation, parents their offspring, or spouses each other. There is almost a universal obsession here with attempts to control and dominate. When thinking is directed at seeing how much one can control others, it cannot be focused on personal happiness and self direction.
The solution is to try to learn from others rather than control or manipulate them.
Knowledge thinking says that anything you learn can benefit you and enrich your life. Achievement thinking says that you must be able to measure, weigh, or spend what you study and that it will be manifested later when the fruits of your study of behavior are to be picked.
Physical and mental illnesses are almost nonexistent when a person learns to think in inner serenity ways. Your highest achievers, your most fulfilled people, your most pioneering minds in all fields seem to share this inner peace thinking, and yet so few emulate it. Instead, they substitute for it the pursuit of things, achievements, awards, trophies, or the approval of others.
The solution is to “Transform your thinking!”
• Quality instead of Appearance thinking.
• Ethics instead of Rules thinking.
• Knowledge instead of Achievement thinking
• Integrity instead of Domination thinking
• Serenity instead of Acquisitions thinking.
Getting religious services “over with” is not a healthy signal when you are trying to cultivate individual integrity and morality.
What you have done with religion on your planet is to completely turn around what started out as an opportunity to help mankind to look inward and by so doing develop personal standards of conduct that would make the world a better place. Religion has become a catechism of guilt, worry, rear and anxiety. Man has used religious affiliation to act out his own wrong, self destructive, power hungry thinking, and then called the conforming behavior that follows such dogmas “religion.”
You cannot read a newspaper anywhere without seeing the evidence. You see wars and executions in the name of God ! You see murder and stealing, skyjacking and terrorism, all in the name of God!
What do you see as a benefit of religion?
It provides people with areas for self- examination. It provides stimulation for the soul and helps people examine their life choices. It helps them see how they can improve the quality of life on earth. Religion can be an avenue for human expression that encourages self development and appreciation for the because of your marvelous universe.
Instead of forcing people to practice religion that tells them how to think, encourage them to think for themselves. That is the most religiously freeing experience possible on earth. Rather than imposing rules, laws and dogma on your parishioners, you should be asking them to begin taking moral responsibility for their own lives. Instead of measuring religious behavior in terms of eternal symbols, I would measure it by how well each person is able to realize his own potential for individual morality.
The kingdom of heaven is within, that is the message.
I see that it is possible to live happily and fully with or without profits and money on your planet. I feel that working for money itself- is self defeating because it teaches that acquisitions, achievement and appearances are the reasons for working. These things can never bring about fulfillment.
Work is the only way to feel purposeful and fulfilled. Work provides a stimulating avenue for actualizing yourself.
By working for money, or even for what it can buy, is another dead end proposition.
A mistaken assumption is that business minded people would love everyone to believe is that money provides you with a better avenue for achieving inner happiness.
People sacrifice by doing things they dislike, such as staying in a routine job, or
living in a city they do not like, in the name of responsibility or the pursuit of happiness. Money has nothing to do with it.
People believe that success came from the job, money, luck, the lack of a recession, or something else that is external. They look outside themselves, and that is not right.
If you pursue your own ideals and enjoy what you do because that is how you choose to think, success will come to you in ways and abundance beyond your dreams.
Success will arrive in your life in whatever form you need it. All your creative geniuses, including, artists, musicians, architects, writers, actors, chefs, designers, mechanics do not do what they do for money, even though it may appear that way to you. The actual act of doing whatever it is that you do should provide satisfaction to you independently of any external reward. The pay is a
bonus. The bonuses arrive when you stop focusing on them and turn your thoughts to enjoying your life and what you are doing in the moment.
I would encourage management to focus on what they can do to make all work personally fulfilling. The secret is to try to find joy and serenity within themselves and take that energy into everything they do.
Most have the “disease of more…”
More is the sickness that keeps people from ever arriving at now.
Once you believe your values derive from what you accomplish, then it must also follow that when you fail to accomplish, then you have no value. Hence you see people all over who when their profit pictures turn sour, become depressed, even to the point of needing treatment from others who are suffering from “more”. I have observed human’s feelings useless when they retire because they believe they are what they do.
You only grow when you fail.
Many businessmen say that the most important things in the lives are their family, loved ones…yet spent almost no time with them. They were busy accumulating money, which they must have believed would provide that happiness. Still their marriages were breaking up and they were clearly strange to their own children. Ironically, they had no time to be with the very people they described as most important to them.
You see their thinking is in error.
This “money lust” seems to run rampant, all for nothing. People just think incorrectly and raise their children to do the same exact thing.
Children in schools: it is a known fact that most individuals who display any creativity or free thinking seem to be perceived as threats and trouble makers. It’s like the people who conform the best, to those who please their teachers or do their assignments quickly and neatly are rewarded and praised. There are few rewards for independent thinking and in fact in most instances it appears; punishment follows. A child who is truly independent of the need for approval, who shows no signs of guilt or anxiety about it, is considered a troublemaker.
A child who refuses to be just like everybody else is signaled out and asked to feel guilty and repent. Yet these qualities of being guilt free, independent, and free thinking are what you label as no limit or self actualized behaviors. Again, it just seems unreal to me to find you stating one thing as an educational objective and doing exactly the opposite.
The problems start when as children the students are told to sit in their assigned seats and quietly do as they are told. This leads straight to the incorrect, neurotic thinking.
It is not a question of proper or improper environment. It simply is not a learning environment. You know each person is unique and special.
How can you tap that uniqueness when each child is treated the same exact way?
Here, society teaches students the same way; the same amount of time, and call those who can learn exactly that way the fastest the smartest. In my reality, being able to assimilate something faster than someone else has to do with one thing, speed. The educational logic guarantees there will always be average and below average students. Our society insists that everyone conform to a standard norm. You teach all your young people to think and act alike. But what do you have to offer your world if you are just like everybody else? You insure this through the insane pursuit of grades; those educational merit badges you dispense on report cards and transcripts. These are the real obsessions of educators here, not knowledge and self-discovery, but the pursuit of those external rewards called grads. These grades have been elevated to the biggest status and have nothing to do with being educated in reality.
A grade is an external mark. It signifies for an individual that he or she has participated in the game of education. Knowledge is an inner mark. It is reflected in:
1) How you feel about what you have learned.
2) How it aids you in pursuing your ideas.
3) What you as a person can do with that knowledge.
Knowledge breeds self awareness: grades breed self deception. A grade on a transcript has nothing to do with reality. It is a symbol of having conformed, and even here where people misperceive their reality so regularly, grads still have very little relation to reality. Nobody looks a t a transcript two years after college, and certainly you wouldn’t want to assess grownup person’s ability on the basis OF AN ACADEMIC TRANSCRIPT. The person who receives all As only a year ago might fail every one of those same examinations today. Today it is how well you currently produce that earns you respect and personal advancement. It is known that even if you have great grades you can fail in the real world today. It is often the ones who do not do well in grades that do so well in the world today.
When you place a person in a system in which the reward is the grade it is unrelated to the actual learning activity, motivation is lowered. For example, if you give an A to a person who read five books, or completes fifty pushups, a B for four books and forty pushups and so o down the line, who do you think will ever want to read a hundred books or do a thousand pushups? Almost no one -that is who! The system says, strive for the reward and work only when you are being rewarded, since the reward for an A has nothing to do in reality with either; reading or pushups, then motivation will cease when the reward is achieved.
SO how could it be changed?
First, the rewards for learning must be aligned with the actual activity of learning. The reward for reading is not located on a transcript, it’s within a person. It’s the joy of being able to comprehend life through writers, the thrill of getting lost in a novel or discovering and applying a new idea; the freedom one achieves by being able to experience what others have thought; the inner glow and self- satisfaction of reading for personal growth. These are the rewards of reading. Similarly, the personal sense of accomplishment one feels when they are in good physical condition, the glorious feeling that comes from being physically fit, the ability to climb stairs without pausing to catch your breath, to run without feeling exhausted, to eat and sleep peacefully, to bask in your own self pride at being superbly healthy these are the rewards for doing push-ups. When you begin to align your rewards in education with the actual educational activity, motivation will increase and apathy will decline, and no one moment before.
What about the role of teachers]? No One can teach you anything, you make a decision to know what you know, and any experienced teacher will tell you that when confronted with a student who has decided not to know something, such as algebra, no amount of teaching is going to get that algebra across. That is your reality. When a student decided to learn algebra, no amount of teacher interference will alter that decision. It seems to me that all people have the inner capacity to learn anything either with the aid of, of in spite of, teachers. Truly great teachers understand this, and deliberately go about their business of providing a unique environment for individuals to make chooses to learn. Furthermore, they emphasize learning for mastery, rather than striving for grades. See in mastery the goad of education is to mater the curriculum. How long it takes is quite irrelevant. It means s that individuals take test when they are ready to see how much they have mastered, rather than on a test day set aside for everyone. Mastery means no punishment for being slower or faster at mastering a subject. Mastery means that when you acquire knowledge, you get inner satisfaction, plus the A if you need the grade for record keeping purposes. The results are personal satisfaction and inner pride, and one receives a grade of Mastery when they demonstrated mastery of the material. In a mastery system, people want to help each other, rather than compete for the few trophies that educators make available in for of grades, honor societies and so on. Students have freedom to develop in areas of personal interest and explore challenging subject without fear of railing. Cooperation rather than competition is the style of learning and cheating is impossible.
This world is composed of people competing against each other. While competition without scorn on a playground is fun and healthy, in the real worked it breed s antagonisms, hatreds, nationalism, and theories of racial superiority. The schools are the one place where you can begin to foster a sense of working together. The purpose of an exam is not to reward or punish, but to help young people assess their personal progress. These would be replaced by a healthy atmosphere of cooperation and helping. If this same quality were transferred to governments, you would end most of the petty squabbles and power plays that create wars and bitter hatreds.
As an example, I was raised Catholic, Irish and went to Private schools. I was told to obey my parents, do what I was told. I was told to listen to the teachers and all authority figures (all adults older than I). When I grew up I learned to despise all learning activities because they are associated with rigid authoritarian thinking. In the end, yes I obeyed AND did very well in schools. I hated to learn and memorize anything. When I grew up I rebelled for awhile; (that is for another story). Then I made up my own mind that I wanted to pay for my own college and attend and get all A’s. I did just that. I went into the Paralegal field and loved every class and gave 110%. It does make a difference when you pay for your own education.
I did follow protocol in schools, and in the employment industry and what I find is that too many people are following a “system.” There is no creativity or independent thinking. This is where the world or corporations lack. This is why so many open their own businesses. I have never been one, to be told what to do. I am sure none of those reading this want to be told what to do! This is my rebellion in play. In my opinion, rules did not make me who I am today. It is important to follow them but not let the “systems” of today “take control of your life.”
I am going to submit this to a few things and see if anyone agrees or talks to me about this document. I have much more to say if anyone is interested.