Mrs. Slocombe
I JUST FOUND ANOTHER BOOK TO BE PUBLISHED ON MARCH 25, 2010 ABOUT CATHERINE DE MEDICI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! XD
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin
Mrs. Slocombe: Well, you are what you eat.
Mr. Lucas: Just how long have you been eatin' sour grapes and ugly... more »
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin
Mrs. Slocombe: Well, you are what you eat.
Mr. Lucas: Just how long have you been eatin' sour grapes and ugly... more »
I JUST FOUND ANOTHER BOOK TO BE PUBLISHED ON MARCH 25, 2010 ABOUT CATHERINE DE MEDICI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! XD
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin
Mrs. Slocombe: Well, you are what you eat.
Mr. Lucas: Just how long have you been eatin' sour grapes and ugly fruit?
Henri: Your mother hates me.
Margot: Yours hated me.
Henri: Your's KILLED mine
Margot: Who poisoned you? Who did it?
Charles: Mommy did.
"...and I am unanimous in that." -Mrs. Mary Elizabeth (Betty) Jennifer Rachel Yiddell Abergavenny Slocombe
"I want to meet my God awake." -Empress Maria Theresa
"It was better that it should fall on them than us. What has been done is no more than necessary" -Queen Catherine de Medici
"Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife."-Queen Victoria
“I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” -Queen Victoria
"I don't know, they think I'm stupid or something." -Sra. Degenova (i wonder why...)
"I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all." -Marie Antoinette
"To have another language is to possess a second soul." -Charlemagne (really? i don't have a 2nd soul after 4 years of torture by spanish...)
"Fools are more to be feared than the wicked." -Queen Christina of Sweden
"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too." -Elizabeth I
"They are not royal. They just happen to have me as their aunt." -Queen Elizabeth II
"The British Constitution has always been puzzling and always will be." -Queen Elizabeth II
"If my soldiers were to begin to think, not one of them would remain in the army." -King Frederick II
"If Russians knew how to read, they would write me off." Catherine the Great
"You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I am, I write on the susceptible skins of living beings." -Catherine the Great
"A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in." -King Frederick II
"I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women." -Louis XIV
"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." -Prince Phillip
"We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves." -Prince Phillip
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." -Prince Phillip
"The more hidden the venom, the more dangerous it is." -Marguerite de Valois
"I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop me and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear." -Prince William
"Everybody grows but me." -Queen Victoria
"Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it." -Lyndon B. Johnson
"I came, I saw, I conquered." -Julius Caesar
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim."' -Lyndon B. Johnson
"Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music." -Jimi Hendrix
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." -John Lennon
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running." -Groucho Marx
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby
"He would make a lovely corpse." -Charles Dickens
"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries." -Stephen King
"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." -Jay Leno
"Let's say we're a typical married couple coming into the store. We've been married for ten years, we know what we want, but we don't know where to find it." -Mr. Rumbold
"No, quite right, an assassination attempt deserves a sack." -Mr. Lucas
"The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip." -John Cleese
"More Christmas cards? Are they genuine, or are they more that you have written to yourself?" -Richard Bucket
these are my Fawlty Towers quotes!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us die." -Basil Fawlty
"Is this a piece of your brain?" -Basil Fawlty
"Zoom! What was that? That was your life, Mate! That was quick, do I get another? Sorry, Mate. Back to the world of dreams." -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: [after Manuel loses Basil's money by "knowing nothing] See, I know nothing!
Basil Fawlty: I'm going to sell you to a vivisectionist!
"I'm fed up with you, you rancorous, coiffured old sow. Why don't you syringe the donuts out of your ears and get some sense into that dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours?" -Basil Fawlty
Sybil Fawlty: Ah, well, you're only single once.
Basil Fawlty: [calling from office] Twice can be arranged.
O'Reilly: The problem with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you worry too much. You keep it up like this, you'll have a stroke before fifty. Stone dead you'll be.
Basil Fawlty: Suits me.
Polly: [Basil is raving at Polly about the remodeling fiasco] Well, it isn't my fault! He was supposed to wake me!
Basil Fawlty: Who was supposed to wake you?
Polly: [pause] It *is* my fault.
Basil Fawlty: [shouts] Manuel! I knew it!
Basil Fawlty: Did you ever see that film "How To Murder Your Wife"?
Major Gowen: "How To Murder Your Wife"?
Basil Fawlty: Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times.
Colonel Hall: And what do you do if you don't like duck?
Basil Fawlty: Well if you don't like duck, you're rather stuck.
Sybil Fawlty: Are you still here Basil?
Basil Fawlty: No, I went a few minutes ago dear, but I expect I'll be back shortly.
"START. Start, you vicious bastard. Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it." -Basil Fawlty
German Guest: Will you please stop talking about the war?
Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
German Guest: We did not!
Basil Fawlty: Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.
"Don't mention the war! I only mentioned it once but I think I got away with it." -Basil Fawlty
Basil Fawlty: I was just doing it, you stupid woman. I just put it down, to come here and be reminded by you to do what I'm already doin'. What is the point in reminding me to do what I'm already doing? What is the bloody point? I'm doing it aren't I?
[pause]
Basil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I picked it up... Yes... No, no, I haven't had a chance yet... Yes, I will... Yes... No, I haven't yet, but I will... Yes, yes, yes, I know it is... Yes, I'll try and get it cleared up... Anything else? I mean, would you like the hotel moved a bit to the left?
"Well, I think we just ran out of Waldorfs!" -Basil Fawlty
Mrs. Hamilton: How long have you been married?
Sybil Fawlty: Oh, since 1485.
"Oh spiffing. Absolutely spiffing. Well done. Two dead, Twenty-five to go." -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: [helping Basil improvise an excuse for his wife's absence at their anniversary party] Is surprise party?
Basil Fawlty: Yes!
Manuel: She not here.
Basil Fawlty: Right.
Manuel: That is surprise!
Manuel: Mr. Fawlty, please understand. If he go, I go.
Basil Fawlty: Well, goodbye.
Sybil Fawlty: [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be best to have it put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty: Who, him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done.
Manuel: 'Spleep'?
"How's the cat? How's the *Cat*? We've got an inspector sniffing around, we're about to be shut down at any minute and you want to know how's the cat? It's gone to London to see the Queen!" -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: Major try to kill Basil!
[Manuels rat is also called Basil]
Sybil Fawlty: Tried to kill BASIL ?
Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty, Basil my little...
[Manuel is about to say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector]
Polly: [suddenly] RATATOUILLE!
Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little... what?
Polly: Ratatouille; the chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil', because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
Manuel: He put Basil in Ratatouille?
Polly: Yes!
Manuel: ARGGGHHHHHHHH!
[Manuel runs off to the kitchen screaming]
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.
"This Basil's wife, this Basil, this smack on head." -Basil Fawlty
STORY YOU HAVE TO READ!
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. « less
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin
Mrs. Slocombe: Well, you are what you eat.
Mr. Lucas: Just how long have you been eatin' sour grapes and ugly fruit?
Henri: Your mother hates me.
Margot: Yours hated me.
Henri: Your's KILLED mine
Margot: Who poisoned you? Who did it?
Charles: Mommy did.
"...and I am unanimous in that." -Mrs. Mary Elizabeth (Betty) Jennifer Rachel Yiddell Abergavenny Slocombe
"I want to meet my God awake." -Empress Maria Theresa
"It was better that it should fall on them than us. What has been done is no more than necessary" -Queen Catherine de Medici
"Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife."-Queen Victoria
“I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” -Queen Victoria
"I don't know, they think I'm stupid or something." -Sra. Degenova (i wonder why...)
"I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all." -Marie Antoinette
"To have another language is to possess a second soul." -Charlemagne (really? i don't have a 2nd soul after 4 years of torture by spanish...)
"Fools are more to be feared than the wicked." -Queen Christina of Sweden
"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too." -Elizabeth I
"They are not royal. They just happen to have me as their aunt." -Queen Elizabeth II
"The British Constitution has always been puzzling and always will be." -Queen Elizabeth II
"If my soldiers were to begin to think, not one of them would remain in the army." -King Frederick II
"If Russians knew how to read, they would write me off." Catherine the Great
"You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I am, I write on the susceptible skins of living beings." -Catherine the Great
"A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in." -King Frederick II
"I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women." -Louis XIV
"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." -Prince Phillip
"We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves." -Prince Phillip
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." -Prince Phillip
"The more hidden the venom, the more dangerous it is." -Marguerite de Valois
"I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop me and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear." -Prince William
"Everybody grows but me." -Queen Victoria
"Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it." -Lyndon B. Johnson
"I came, I saw, I conquered." -Julius Caesar
"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim."' -Lyndon B. Johnson
"Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music." -Jimi Hendrix
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." -John Lennon
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running." -Groucho Marx
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby
"He would make a lovely corpse." -Charles Dickens
"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries." -Stephen King
"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." -Jay Leno
"Let's say we're a typical married couple coming into the store. We've been married for ten years, we know what we want, but we don't know where to find it." -Mr. Rumbold
"No, quite right, an assassination attempt deserves a sack." -Mr. Lucas
"The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip." -John Cleese
"More Christmas cards? Are they genuine, or are they more that you have written to yourself?" -Richard Bucket
these are my Fawlty Towers quotes!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us die." -Basil Fawlty
"Is this a piece of your brain?" -Basil Fawlty
"Zoom! What was that? That was your life, Mate! That was quick, do I get another? Sorry, Mate. Back to the world of dreams." -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: [after Manuel loses Basil's money by "knowing nothing] See, I know nothing!
Basil Fawlty: I'm going to sell you to a vivisectionist!
"I'm fed up with you, you rancorous, coiffured old sow. Why don't you syringe the donuts out of your ears and get some sense into that dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours?" -Basil Fawlty
Sybil Fawlty: Ah, well, you're only single once.
Basil Fawlty: [calling from office] Twice can be arranged.
O'Reilly: The problem with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you worry too much. You keep it up like this, you'll have a stroke before fifty. Stone dead you'll be.
Basil Fawlty: Suits me.
Polly: [Basil is raving at Polly about the remodeling fiasco] Well, it isn't my fault! He was supposed to wake me!
Basil Fawlty: Who was supposed to wake you?
Polly: [pause] It *is* my fault.
Basil Fawlty: [shouts] Manuel! I knew it!
Basil Fawlty: Did you ever see that film "How To Murder Your Wife"?
Major Gowen: "How To Murder Your Wife"?
Basil Fawlty: Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times.
Colonel Hall: And what do you do if you don't like duck?
Basil Fawlty: Well if you don't like duck, you're rather stuck.
Sybil Fawlty: Are you still here Basil?
Basil Fawlty: No, I went a few minutes ago dear, but I expect I'll be back shortly.
"START. Start, you vicious bastard. Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it." -Basil Fawlty
German Guest: Will you please stop talking about the war?
Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
German Guest: We did not!
Basil Fawlty: Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.
"Don't mention the war! I only mentioned it once but I think I got away with it." -Basil Fawlty
Basil Fawlty: I was just doing it, you stupid woman. I just put it down, to come here and be reminded by you to do what I'm already doin'. What is the point in reminding me to do what I'm already doing? What is the bloody point? I'm doing it aren't I?
[pause]
Basil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I picked it up... Yes... No, no, I haven't had a chance yet... Yes, I will... Yes... No, I haven't yet, but I will... Yes, yes, yes, I know it is... Yes, I'll try and get it cleared up... Anything else? I mean, would you like the hotel moved a bit to the left?
"Well, I think we just ran out of Waldorfs!" -Basil Fawlty
Mrs. Hamilton: How long have you been married?
Sybil Fawlty: Oh, since 1485.
"Oh spiffing. Absolutely spiffing. Well done. Two dead, Twenty-five to go." -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: [helping Basil improvise an excuse for his wife's absence at their anniversary party] Is surprise party?
Basil Fawlty: Yes!
Manuel: She not here.
Basil Fawlty: Right.
Manuel: That is surprise!
Manuel: Mr. Fawlty, please understand. If he go, I go.
Basil Fawlty: Well, goodbye.
Sybil Fawlty: [about Manuel's rat] Perhaps it would be best to have it put to S-L-E-E-P.
Basil Fawlty: Who, him or the rat? Might get a discount if we have them both done.
Manuel: 'Spleep'?
"How's the cat? How's the *Cat*? We've got an inspector sniffing around, we're about to be shut down at any minute and you want to know how's the cat? It's gone to London to see the Queen!" -Basil Fawlty
Manuel: Major try to kill Basil!
[Manuels rat is also called Basil]
Sybil Fawlty: Tried to kill BASIL ?
Manuel: No, not Mr. Fawlty, Basil my little...
[Manuel is about to say 'Rat' in front of the health inspector]
Polly: [suddenly] RATATOUILLE!
Mr. Carnegie: Basil the little... what?
Polly: Ratatouille; the chef calls the ratatouille 'Basil', because he puts quite a lot of basil in it.
Manuel: He put Basil in Ratatouille?
Polly: Yes!
Manuel: ARGGGHHHHHHHH!
[Manuel runs off to the kitchen screaming]
Sybil Fawlty: [to Mr. Carnegie] He's from Barcelona.
"This Basil's wife, this Basil, this smack on head." -Basil Fawlty
STORY YOU HAVE TO READ!
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. « less
- Schonbrunn Palace, just outside of Vienna, Austria
- member since April 30 2008
