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  anger

  YOUR ANSWERS QUESTIONED....
  
  Living with the Mystery
  
  I’m never quiet inside. There is still some anger inside me that I don’t understand yet. Something says to be quiet, to shut up but I have a hard time listening to that voice inside saying to be quiet. I’m afraid of it.
  
  
  Just don’t repress the anger anymore. Whatsoever is left has to be brought out, because that is the only way to be really quiet.
  
  You can forcibly still yourself but the stillness is and sooner or later it will be disturbed because just underneath it the anger is boiling and waiting for its moment and the opportunity. Then one goes on sitting on a volcano. Everything seems quiet when the volcano is not erupting, is not active, but it is preparing inside. Some anger has come out, some is still there — and the anger that has come out was superficial. Throw the anger that needs to come out is deeper — that’s why it is difficult to understand it.
  
  One part of the anger is understandable because it is related to people, to situations. You can understand why you are angry; the why is clear. But when this layer, this superficial layer of anger is thrown away, then suddenly you come on a source of anger that is not related to the outside at all, which is simply part of you. Nobody has insulted you, in fact there is no excuse to be angry — and then it is there. It becomes very difficult to understand because you cannot throw the responsibility on anybody else. Now it is something that is within you, that belongs to you.
  
  
  
  
  ANGER: PART OF THE PACKAGE
  
  We have been taught that anger comes only in a certain tense situation. That’s not true.
  
  
  We are born with anger; it is part of us.
  
  In certain situations it comes up; in certain other situations it is inactive, but it is there. So one first has to throw the anger that is related, and then one comes on the deeper source of anger that is unrelated to anybody else — that you are born with. It is unaddressed, and that’s the trouble in understanding it. But there is no need to understand it. Just throw it, not on anybody, but on a pillow, on the sky, on God, on me! Just throwing is the point.
  
  And because it is unrelated it has to be absurd. You don’t know where to throw it, how to throw it, on whom to pour it. If you pour it on someone you will feel very guilty, because the other has not deserved it at all. That’s the mystery of it, and it makes one feel very disturbed.
  
  This is going to happen with every emotion. There is a part of love that is related to someone. Then if you go deeper, one day you will come to the source of love that is unaddressed. It is not moving towards anybody; it is simply there, there inside. And the same is true of everything you feel. Everything has two sides.
  
  One, the unconscious, the deeper side, is simply with you, and the superficial is the functioning of this deeper layer in relationship. People who remain superficial always completely forget their own inner treasures. When you throw out the inner anger, you come face to face with inner love, inner compassion. The rubbish has to be thrown out so that you can come to the purest gold within you.
  
  
  
  DON'T TRY AND GET IT!
  
  So make it a point — don’t try to understand it.
  
  
  That is one of the basic problems facing the whole West, the modern mind: we try to understand everything...and life is basically a mystery. You can live it, but you cannot understand it. And if you insist that you have to understand, then you will remain superficial.
  
  Intellect goes only on the surface, only to a certain extent, then it cannot go deeper. The depth is not the dimension of the intellect; length is the dimension of the intellect. So if you want to know details, the intellect can give you many and many and many, but it cannot move in any depth; it cannot dig any fact in the dimension of depth, vertically. So forget about it. There is no need to understand.
  
  Anger is there; that’s enough to know. And it has to be thrown out, because if anger remains in you, you will never feel quiet and still; it will go on burning like a fire inside. It will go on finding excuses outside, and if you don’t throw it without any excuse, you will throw it with some excuse — and then the trouble is more complicated. You throw it on the wife, the children, the friend, somebody. Then you are creating more complexities for yourself because you have missed the point. So this is a good insight. Use it now.
  
  
  Above All, Don’t Wobble
  

  arvind s started this discussion 6 months ago. ( reply )

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  arvind s 

  YOUR ANSWERS QUESTIONED....
  
  Anger Is a Small Thing
  
  How can I be aware during strong emotions? My anger feels like thousands of wild horses are running away with me!
  
  
  Anger is a very small thing. If you can just wait and watch, you will not find “thousands of wild horses.” If you can find even a small donkey, that will be enough! Just watch it and it will go, slowly. It will enter from this side and will go out from the other side. You just have to keep a little patience not to ride on it.
  
  
  
  Anger, jealousy, envy, greed, competitiveness...all our problems are very small, but our ego magnifies them, makes them as big as it can.
  
  The ego cannot do otherwise; its anger has also to be great. By its great anger, and great misery, and great greed, and great ambition it becomes great.
  
  But you are not the ego, you are only a watcher. Just stand by the side and let all the thousands of horses pass — let us see how long it takes for them to pass. There is no need to be worried. As they come — they are wild — they will go. But we don’t miss even a small donkey; we immediately jump on it! You don’t need thousands of wild horses. Just a small thing, and you are full of anger and fire. You will laugh about it later on, at how stupid you were.
  
  If you can watch, without getting involved, as if it is something on the screen of a movie house or of a TV screen...something is passing; watch it. You are not supposed to do anything to prevent it, to repress it, to destroy it, to pull out a sword and kill it, because from where will you get the sword? — from the same source as the anger is coming. It is all imagination.
  
  
  Just watch, and don’t do anything — for or against.
  
  And you will be surprised: that which was looking very big, becomes very small. But our habit is to exaggerate.
  
  A small boy comes home running, and tells his mother — he is not more than three years old — “Mum, a great lion, roaring loudly, was running after me for miles! But somehow I managed to escape. Many times he came very close. He was just about to attack me when I started running faster.”
  
  The mother looked at the boy and said, “Tommy, I have told you a million times not to exaggerate! How can you find a lion in the city...and you have been running for miles? And where is the lion?”
  
  The boy looked outside the door. He said, “He is standing there. But, to tell you the truth, it is just a small dog — very small! But when it was running after me, it appeared.... You tell me not to exaggerate, and right now you have been exaggerating that you have told me millions of times.”
  
  Our minds are very exaggerating. You have small problems, and if you can stop exaggerating and just see, then by the door a poor small dog is standing. And there is no need to run miles; your life is not in danger.
  
  When anger comes to you, it is not going to kill you. It has been with you many times before, and you have survived perfectly well. It is the same anger that you have been through before. Just do one thing new — which you have never done; every time you get involved with it, fighting. This time just watch, as if it does not belong to you, as if it is somebody else’s anger. And you are in for a great surprise: it will disappear within seconds.
  
  
  And when anger disappears without any struggle, it leaves behind it a tremendously beautiful and silent and loving state.
  
  The same energy that could have become a fight with the anger is left within you. Pure energy is delight — I am quoting William Blake: “Energy is delight” — just energy, without any name, without any adjective.... But you never allow energy to be pure. Either it is anger, or hate, or love, or greed, or desire. It is always involved in something; you never allow it in its purity.
  
  Every time anything arises in you, is a great chance to experience pure energy. Just watch, and the donkey will go. It may raise a little dust, but that dust also settles on its own; you don’t have to settle it. You simply wait. Don’t move from waiting and watching, and soon you will find yourself surrounded by a pure energy that has not been used in fighting, in repressing, or in being angry.
  
  And energy is certainly delight. Once you know the secret of delight, you will enjoy every emotion; and every emotion arising in you is a great opportunity.
  
  Just watch, and bring a shower of delight on your being. Slowly, slowly all these emotions will disappear; they will not come any more — they don’t come uninvited. Watchfulness, or alertness, or awareness, or consciousness, are all different names of the same phenomenon: witnessing. That is the key word.
  

  posted 6 months ago. ( reply )

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