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I do not spend as much time with my family as I would like. It mostly due to how different I am from them and since I come from a divorced family I have two separate families to deal with, my moms and my dads. Though I do try and usually see them at Christmas and on my sons birthday parties and maybe on Thanks giving. I have my own family though, my husband and son and in-laws and step-son. I get along amazingly well with my in-laws and step-son and actually connect more with them than my own flesh and blood. So yes, I spend a lot of time with that side of my family. My husband and son are my life. My fathers side of the family is HUGE and many generations come together especially at Christmas time.
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I can imagine how much more difficult it would be to get together with family if there's a divorce and/or a very different lifestyle. I'm glad that you've got a good strong bond with your husband's side of the family. It's always nice to feel that there is a strong bond with a good sized number of people somewhere.
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An interesting topic, but for Indian society, family is everything. There is nothing like " shall we spend quality time with family" as all our time is already taken by the family, it is taken for "Granted". Yes , a lot has been changing in the Indian Society, where touching base with family has become an occasion, but on a large scale, we still are having the concept of 'Joint family'.
Each state, each caste and creed has customs and traditions which are different. One thing stays common, Mother & Father... are way above and we scarifies for their happiness. We have to listen to them, be it Marriage, your career or your life, as they profess they know whats best for us. ( Now that can be quite annoying.)
But when I see the smaller picture, Its the heart and love and care that matters, how you connect to them. Its quite intoxicating when u have ur sibling talking about the old goof-ups we had when we kids. Or your mom, reminding you of a pink dress which was ur favorite.
I believe that one should give more of oneself to a family, as you never know, you might never get another chance. ;-)
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I agree, family is all we have on this Earth. Unfortunately I wasn't raised with strong family bonds. But I have been blessed to marry into a very loving and accepting family and after 9 years of marriage the bond just gets stronger. It's really wierd because usually people do not get along with their in-laws but I married very young and lived with them for many years and they kind of became my second set of parents (as they should be). The best part is knowing I can count on them as if I was also a child of theirs.
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In the U.S., the nuclear family (parents and kids) is about as far as most families are able to bond. We tend to move fairly far away from our relatives at a fairly early age and stay away. It's almost expected. We all compensate by forming our own "support groups" through our friends in the neighborhood. Even when we are still living together (when the kids are still dependent on us), we often do not have compatible schedules. Sitting down and eating a meal together is more a rarity than a rule ... unfortunately.
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Yeah, family is important. Not always enjoyable. ;)
Amidst my basic nuclear family, I must say that my doggy is a very important member. =)
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You semi sorta joke about that :) ... but people who've never had pets (isn't that an odd concept?) don't understand how strong our bonds to some of our pets are.
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I agree, my cats are part of my family.
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One of my bosses used to complain about how much I talk about my late cat. Heh, heh! He didn't know that I was going to have my first child about a year later.
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I come from a huge family. Most of them are scattered all over the east coast. So I don't get to see them as often as I like. My frequent flyer miles are stacking up!. I see my sisters every week and my dad and favorite aunt live in NYC. So I get to see them often. My hubbie's family live 15 min from us, which is a blessing and a curse all in one ; ) Nothing like an unannounced drive by from your MIL!!
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My family is really scattered too but we still try to keep in touch. It's almost all on my father's side ... the ones that keep in touch. He's the next to oldest in a group of seven (three oldest and four younger) from two different moms. Out of the seven, their ended up being 14 of us. I'm the next to oldest of that generation. My generation were born in 5 different countries and currently live in 8 different countries. We are SCATTERED. Luckily for us, the worldwide web has really opened up communications. We plan to have our second family reunion in Bali again in about a year.
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Ritu G
- Wednesday, May 14 2008
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Sweetpea78: Yikes, 15 minutes away!?! Kudos to you, girl for handling this distance! ;)
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Wow racethom you really are scattered! My dad is one of 9 and my mom was one of three. There are 23 first cousins ranging from 10 to 42.
Ritu G - copious amounts of wine help ; )
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Wow.
Your range in age is greater than ours.
The cousin range is 22 to 49.
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I'm happy to say that I come from a VERY close family. My Mom and Dad are still married and live about 15 minutes away, and my sister is my next door neighbor :)
All my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins live close too. My grandmother lives right next to my parents. I have some Aunts and cousins that live in Ohio and Kentucky, but we see them about four times a year.
And the most important thing is we all get along! My husband and I eat dinner with my parents every weekend and he actually enjoys it. He didn't have a dad growing up so he feels like he's part of our family now.
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Ritu G
- Wednesday, May 14 2008
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Cat Lady Lori: Wow, that is so interesting. I think it's so sweet that your husband has become so integrated in your family. =) It's lovely. By the way, is your avatar a picture of your cat? Adorable!!
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:) It is so great to hear about families that get along.
My suspicion is that there are quite a few out there.
I wish that we'd hear about it more often.
It is great that your husband takes to your family.
I've seen quite a few marriages that work that way.
The best part of all that is that the kids see the strength in family that way.
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I grew up thinking that families like mine were the norm but when I first met my husband he was amazed at my family, I guess that's when I realized it wasn't the norm.
I don't take it for granted either, I know I'm very lucky to have them all. :)
Ritu: Thanks, my avatar is one of my 3 kitties, Foxy.
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Does your family have special family events? We, for instance, have participated in the AIA Sandcastle contest for 19 years now. Until just lately (due to a change in weather patterns) we always had our first dip in the pool on Easter Sunday. We also have bookstore nights on Friday whenever possible.
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Reading everyones note feels so nice. And each has an experience to share. For us, all the festivals and occasions like marriage, b'days etc has been a get together.
I feel lucky too, just like Cat Lady Lori, to have my parents and my sister always there for me. Infact the way one adapts to different family, helps us to learn to adapt in our work atmosphere too. Joint family helps us to sharpen our skills of " Dodging" :-).
All said and done, but as an individual, we all crave for our space. the time-out periods helps us to recompose ourself. And unless we are not in control of our priorities and thoughts, managing a get-together can be quite a havoc.
And a women of substance knows how to lead. ;-). Kudos to everyone.
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I love my family too.unfortunately a part of my family live so far from our place but we have a very good contact.they live in canada in another culture and language but it doesn't matter atall.I think our power of love can keep us together.I'm happy I have them because I won't be alone in my bad times and problems
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I understand about your sentiment regarding family and languages. Luckily for me, when we had a family reunion, English was decided on as the official reunion language. I don't speak anything else ...
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My mom wants to try to get the sister's and the SIL's together once a year for the "Sister's" event that takes place during the summertime in Sisters, Washington (I think). It's a huge festival and is suppose to be quite fun. I would also like to get to the point where we have a regular family reunion for my siblings where everyone actually shows up, whether it is once a year or every few years.
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What a fun idea! I've never even heard of that event before!
I know that there's a Bob Festival that occassionally happens. Anyone with the name or nickname Bob is welcome :D
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Speaking of family time ... how much does your family get together and/or support each other? Do you eat meals regularly together? (For those of you in other countries, this is a problem in the U.S.) Do you who are parents regularly read to the kids, help them with homework, or help them study? Who comes to the shows or ball games? Do you regularly talk to each other face to face, via phone, or via the web?
Inquiring minds want to know ...
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Well I speak to my mom and dad via MSN Messenger every few days (atleast once a week) and we try and get together on Christmas and to celebrate my son's birthday. When I drive back down to Miami I try to see my dad since he still lives there but I only see my mom once or twice a year. I see my in-laws more often because when I go to Miami I stay with them and they drive up to visit us atleast once a month.
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