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  Need

  Okay, I just REALLY needed to write this down. I'm going crazy. I'm flipping shit. I'm scared and it will not go away. Why is this? It's because for the past four days, I have had a feeling in my stomach. I don't know if it's hunger, but it sure seems like it. So of course, my mind automatically jumps to one thing: diabetes. I'm scared shitless that I have diabetes. I don't want it. I can't handle something that will change my life so drastically. For the past four days, all I've wanted to do is lay down, go to sleep, and never, ever wake up. I'm so afraid, I can't even speak the words as to why I'm afraid; I can only think it and write it. As of now, I've done both. I want to cry, I want to sleep, but most of all, I just want to die. Make this fear go away. Of course, I can't. So I'm stuck. Just needed to write that down. Of course, it didn't help.

  Antoinette P started this discussion 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Karen J (edited)

  I have diabetes. First thing you need to do is call your doctor and make an appointment to be checked. When I first found out I was so angry. I'm the one who always exercised and ate right. I hated watching overweight people stuff their faces and didn't have the disease. I knew that was a wrong way to think but still made me angry and still does to a point but that's something I need to get over.

  As of right now I'm controlling it without medication but if my number doesn't come down to a 6 which is a 7 right now I will have to go on medication (pills).

  Having diabetes isn't the end of the world. You can still live a healthy life if you will make some lifestyle changes.
  If you are eating right keep doing so, exercise, drink plenty of water, get plenty of rest. Lose weight if you're overweight .

  I'm tired of people telling me I'm skin and bones. I was overweight by ten pounds.I'm short with a small frame and just ten pounds can raise the blood sugar levels in my body. Yes, weight can play a big factor in diabetes. I am healthy, I can hike miles without getting winded or tired. I can run short distances while playing paintball and sometimes long if my ankles and knees doesn't hurt too bad. LOL old injuries.

  If you think you may have it don't waste time about getting checked out. Get facts about diabetes and don't listen to the horror stories about the disease.

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Karen J (edited)

  Are you thirsty all the time?
  After you eat do you feel sick?
  Is your vision blurry?
  Do you pee a lot?

  These are signs of high blood sugar.

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Antoinette P 

    No blurry vision, I don't pee more than usual, I'm not thirsty, it's just the hunger. But...it's weird. It feels EXACTLY like hunger, but I don't want to eat! It's like my stomach is saying yes and no at the same time!!

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    nutmeag (aka Meagan B) 

    I went through that at the end of my freshman year of college. Never figured out the cause, but I lost a lot of weight because I would take two bites of something and not be hungry anymore. But before that I'd be starving. I turned out ok, though. ;-) I'm sure you'll be fine. Sometimes our bodies just go a little wonky.

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Vonnie 

  Like Karen said, if you suspect you have diabetes then make an appointment with your doctor. but it also seems like you have no idea as to why you are scared. Do you get panic attacks? I get into these sort of epidsodes at least once a month where I act as if i'm going to die and I start panicking like crazy. I still think you should go to your doctor and try to figure out what is wrong. It could also be stress.

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Tenia F 

    That's the first thing I thought of Panic attacks. The first time you get one, you think it's a hearattack

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Antoinette P 

    I honestly don't know if I get panic attacks. That's the closest thing I would think to what I've experienced. It's messed up...I hate my mind so much.

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Jackie  

  The ladies are right, no matter what the problem could be, you need to go to the Dr. to find out what it is. Sitting and thinking will only make things worse. I did the "why me" thing when I was diagnosed as Bipolar, but I realized that getting angry didn't help. You just do what you are suposed to do and go forward. I hope everything turns out ok for you!

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Tenia F 

    I did this too. I still do it, especially when the dr suggested I needed some meds for paranoia recently

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Meghan K 

  Antoinette, Did you have any luck talking to a counselor at school? Is this related to the other issues we talked about? I am worried about you kiddo. Please check in w/ parents or a trusted adult.

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Antoinette P 

    I almost did. I was about to talk to this one woman, but then I completely broke down in front of my friends. I tried to hide it, but it didn't work and I ended up just telling them everything. This has happened once before and I hoped it would never happen again, but you can't always get what you want right? My friends talked to me, told me things. I feel better. There is still some fear, but...it's significantly less than before. The nights are the worst. That's when I become an ultra orthodox christian and pray to God to make the fear go away, to let me sleep. And he listened. I don't know what I'm going to do. But I know that this can't go on. I'll think of something...

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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    Meghan K 

    CAn you try again?

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  ~KalyDawn~ (edited)

  Hang in there Antoinette, I've been through something like that and it does pass. I would definitely listen to the advice here and go talk to someone you trust with a medical background, ie. doctor, therapist, naturpath, etc. That way if it is medical, maybe there will be relief. Our fears are generally worse than the actual outcome. It would suck if you have diabetes but it would be worse if you let your fear hinder treatment and worse things happen. Also, if it isn't diabetes and something emotional, start trying to pinpoint the trigger and work through it. That was why I felt that way and I just had to work through it... takes time and patience with yourself but you're stronger than you think, so hang in there!

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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  Meghan K 

  Keep us posted Antoinette.

  posted 2 months ago. ( reply )

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