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Feminist Writings

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  • Category: Women | Started Saturday, February 17 2007

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  • Sharifa F

    Romance Novels

    Has anyone else found themselves in a furious rage over a Romance Novel. They aren't my normal genre, but passing by a box marked "free", I came home with six or seven, all by different (apparently female) authors. After the first one, I couldn't believe how misogynist it was. After three or four, I felt a little sick. Would anyone else care to comment?
    Sharifa F started this discussion 3 months ago. ( reply )

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  • Judy L

    Judy L 

    My mom has read them all of her life which makes me a little sad. I used to steal them when I was 12 or 13 & read them. By 14 I had figured out they all had the same oppressive story line & I was bored and a little angry. Now I can't bear to look at them.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
  • She

    She 

    I don't get into a rage over them, they are an escapism for some people, just like comic books and pornographic magazines. There are so many great books out there waiting to be discovered and read - don't waste you time!
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
  • khabira

    khabira 

    Hi I think that everyone does have their escape route but my big complaint about them is that old thing that you need to have a man to take care of you.
    Back in the old days (LOL), we had a saying, " A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." I have a magnet somewhere with a fish riding a bike.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
  • Husseina G

    Husseina G 

    I am not a feminist and the reason I joined this group is to find out how feminsts think.What makes reading romance sad?Is that you don't believe in love or you don't believe in romance or that you don't believe in love with the opposite sex?
    There are many women that have done just fine on their own but to have the love of a good man changes your life from just fine to great.There are things you just can't shoulder on your own.You need the companionship and love.Men have roles they play and so do women but I sincerely don't think women should be islands and try to be both men and women.If you have found a man, great, if not , move on!Women and men need eachother because of our different peculiarities but if you don't find one you have to get a life.But I feel it is wrong to constantly try to undermine them and the roles they play in our and our children's lives.time has come for us to stop blaming men for all our problems.They have problems and so do we.If you've had disappointment over a man, move on but don't cast all men in the same light.Likewise if you don't have a man in your life you won't die, you will do just fine on your own.
    I love romance novels and I don't apologise for it.We read them because they are stress free, easy reads.You don't read about war, death or anything gross.Plus you get to finish quickly.Romance is the spice of every relationship and I can't pretend I don't need it in my life.Judy L, you feel it is sad your mum read them all her life but I'm sure she smiled more because of them and had a positive outlook on life because of them.
    People, why are you so cynical?You even sound bitter!We all have our preferences and I don't think one person should look down upon the other for the person's choice in books or beliefs in life.
    Admittedly some really cast women as weak beings and I sincerely don't like those myself.Penny Jordan was really famous for her romance books but she had the tendency of writing about abusive powerful men while the heroines were always weak kittens that tend to cry at any opportunity they get.I never liked her books.But there are really wonderful romance novels out there with fiesty, fiery, strong women characters.Don't close your minds, be open and you may like some.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    show 5 replies
    • Nicole

      Nicole  

      Husseina G -
      1. in my opinion if you feel men and women should have equal rights - you're a feminist. (not an official thing but my personal definition) so i like to believe a lot more people are feminists even if they don't realize it. it's been a long time since my one women's studies class, but what i took away is that there are a ton of branches of feminism with their own definitions of what needs fixing in the world and what the best way to fix it is.

      2. i like romance novels. i read mostly recent ones and they don't usually offend my feminst ideals. they're pretty predictable - the main character is trying to succeed in her career life and family issues, and then she also has a romance.

      3. feminst doesn't mean man-hating. i don't hate men. i'm married. haven't seen any man-hating comments in this group yet. whether life is easier or better with a partner etc. can be debated but i don't think proven as any absolute. either way people should have rights that are fair and it sounds like you're saying that too i think.

      4. glad you joined the group! hopefully you'll satisfy your curiosity on 'how feminists think' welcome.
      posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    • khabira

      khabira 

      Husseina G
      Welcome to our group. I am sorry that you have interpreted some of our opinions as cynical or bitter. I haven't had that experience. I am a widow. I do believe in equality between the sexes. Equal pay for equal work. Battering is a crime no matter if the man or woman begins the violence. There iare as many differences in the likes and dislikes of feminists as any other group of women. We are just women who have a political stand and many of us have worked very hard to provide equality for women in this country. Women vote here because there were women who stood up and demanded the right to vote. I think anyone can read anything they want to and if you want to read romance novels then by all means do so. Because we discuss a topic doesn't mean we hate men, or have been disappointed in men, it is the ability to just talk about ideas. To look at them from all angles. To debate. To take a stand, to listen to the views of others and see if their arguments have validity for you in your life. Their discussions are not in any way meant to be mean spirited. They are meant to open up our minds and to continue to grow throw dialog, debate, differing opinions, and the ability to give a view you may never have voiced before. We know we will be fine if we do or don't have a man in our lives and we do appreciate your reminding us. You must never apologize for what you want to read. You are a sentient being and as such a beautiful unique woman. Thank you for sharing with us.
      posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    • Mashi

      Mashi 

      I don't think anyone is objecting to romance. Most of us will engage in at least one romantic relationship (most of us several). I have never read any romance novels so I am not able to make specific criticism, so I'll just speak to general objections a feminist analysis could bring.

      First, criticism of a sexist (among other things) system does not mean anyone hates men. However, in stating that we must be careful about going down the "women need men to complement them" etc line of thinking. Many of us have wonderful relationships with men, and many of us have wonderful relationships with women, or both, or neither or whatever the case might be. No one partnership configuration (or lack thereof) is superior.

      Second, of course nothing is wrong with romance. There is something wrong with creating a model for romance which plays on gender stereotypes and expectations of behavior. It assumes that women are one way and men are another. This simply isn't true... there is a wide variety of HUMAN characteristics and we all possess some of the traits labeled "feminine" and "masculine."

      Again, I'm not commenting on any particular work because I simply haven't read "romance novels"..... :P I have read novels that involve romance, but somehow I don't think that's what is being discussed here (I just finished Tom Robbins' Still Life with Woodpecker and might I say it was quite romantic).
      posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
    • zawadi

      zawadi 

      I was going to say a lot of what's already been said. How about taking time to get to know us better and ask us for more information before concluding we're cynical and that we are anti-romance. We're talking about a genre not our opinions of relationships. Don't judge us just because don't like a particular genre. You posted your reply after 3 posts and assumed you know us all? lol

      Don't buy the lie that feminists are anti-male. I love my guy and he can actually be mysgonistic at times; I forgive him just like does me for my short-comings.
      posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
    • mef

      mef 

      -- or that you don't believe in love with the opposite sex?

      If that's not cynical, I don't know what is. I didn't realize that anyone still bought the idea that women who want to be valued in their own right must be lesbians.
      posted 3 weeks ago. ( reply )
  • Meghan  G

    Meghan G 

    Shafira...I have to admit that romance novels aren't totally terrible. I haven't read anything from the genre in a while but I agree with Sheila M that they are escapist fun.

    When were the books you have published? I've noticed that older books tend to be soap-operaey, with swooning women and superrich men rescuing them. The newer books are more like Bridget Jones with a snappy sense of humor and career women. That said, they are overall crappily written and I don't know any that I'd hold up as a paragon of literature...but every once in a while I don't think they are so bad.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    show 2 replies
    • Sharifa F

      Sharifa F 

      Yah, I think my romance novel binge was on "expired goods" from the late 80's and early 90's. No Harlequinns, but I think they were similar. Most were just badly written and had the overlying idea that if you get rescued by the right man (usually rescued from another man), your life will be perfect. The one that really got to me was a story involving a physically abusive man who "changes" at the very end of the story because the woman decides to have a relationship with him. I just thought of some woman in an abusive relationship thinking that if she could just "love him right", he would become a different person. The book implied that abuse is the fault of the victim and that men aren't responsible for their actions.
      Maybe it is time for something more contemporary.
      posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
    • khabira

      khabira 

      Sharifa
      I think you have hit the nail on the head. From what I read abuse is increasing among young couples in dating situations. I think this is a dangerous image to promote to young girls.
      Having said that, every once in a while you just need mindless escape.
      posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
  • She

    She 

    This is a first - being called cynical and bitter - I'm actually an enigma: "Pollyanna" with an intellectual twist. I prefer reading about strong, witty, intelligent heroines, both fiction and non. I want what I read to stretch my mind, pique my curiousity, while adding color and pizazz. I want to laugh, cry, scratch my head, and use the dictionary. Romance novels provide none of this for me. And, by the way, I absolutely adore my husband, who is not the blame of any of my shortcomings.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
  • Judy L

    Judy L (edited)

    Husseina - You said; "I am not a feminist and the reason I joined this group is to find out how feminsts think."
    Are you sure this is true? It sounds to me more like you came here to try & change people.
    posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    show 2 replies
    • Lopsided

      Lopsided 

      Judy, I don't think Husseina is trying to change people. I think she misunderstands what feminism is and was going off the stereotypical notion of feminists hating men and blaming them for our problems and trying to reason to those who believe in that. The fact is that as Meghan pointed out, there are many branches of feminism. I agree with her definition of feminist's believing men and women are equals and that is also where I stand.
      posted 3 months ago. ( reply )
    • Lopsided removed this reply 3 months ago.
  • Clare R

    Clare R 

    Hi,
    I like romance novels. For a long time i waged an internal struggle over what i thought was my unhealthy appreciation for the genre. I am A feminist, at times almost militantly so. After a long time spent considering, i have come to believe that the romance novel genre, being written almost exclusively by women for women is almost like a running discussion concerning things such as gender, the balance between work/family, expectations , ect. I don't think the books themselves are creating the world we live in but are rather a way of working through ideas, like group therapy. I think this is evident in the change between romance novels today and in the past. New themes are introduced and i have encountered some very interesting gender dynamics in newer novels. And i think they will continue to change as does our society. I do admit that i come across some books that i have to put down. It is just too much. Other times i like to highlight certain stereotypes that are being portrayed, but i still like them. If you are interested in the topic, there is a lot of very interesting discussion being played out in Feminist circles that might be worth checking out. I think it is important to remember that women who are independent, intelligent, and self determined are often the same people producing in this genre! And at the core of my feminist beliefs is that women should be able to do what they freaking want to.
    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
  • sheri b

    sheri b 

    I understand your frustration; however, I don't think that the author's intent is to harm women. I believe that the stories are meant to be fun and easy (and profitable)...like candy. No nutritional value and small servings please.

    That said, the romance novel is probably my least favorite. Not so much because of the absurdities of the characters and plotlines (that's hilarious) but more for the reason that many are written at an impossibly low literacy level.

    Is there a thinking woman's romance novelist out there?

    I don't know how you made it through so many! Especially if they were from the 80s. wow.

    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
  • zawadi

    zawadi 

    Don't read them. Won't bother. Pretty prejudice about them for the very reason they pissed you off. :-) So everything free ain't always good, eh. lol

    I have read some chick lit and those have been mildly, mindlessly amusing and I read them because they were either recommended for a group tag (I belong to PLAY BOOK TAG where you read books according to assigned tags) or recommendation game I was participating in.
    posted 2 months ago. ( reply )
  • Laurie G

    Laurie G 

    The only author I read that is considered "romance" is Luanne Rice. But I read her for the beach side of her stories. She is a good author, but I cannot read more than 1 book a year of hers, too repetitious.
    As far as the Harlequin books and Fabio on the cover stuff, not for me.
    posted 2 weeks ago. ( reply )
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