My name is Olga Schmirkle. I am from, and was born in, East Germany. The only reason that I like to travel around the world is to buy new and foreign cookbooks. I can speak fluent German, Polish, and English. I live by myself in Zilwaukee Township. (Look it up.) I hate it here, there's way too many people! My husband, Alfred, died three years ago. I don't like children, television, or sunshine. Books are what get me through each day. My life is so cold and bitter, I feel that the books give me and escape. I only had two children, Anne and Herman, because that Alfred (may he rest in peace) forced me, and now I'm stuck with fifteen grandchildren who need real disipline. Those parents get it from Alfred, I just know it. I was the one who knew how to raise them! But nooo, he's the man so he gets to do everything. Oh, and then there are my cats. I have 53 of them. Suzy, Sally, Fred, Fred jr., Linda, Cathy, Julia(she bites), William, Rohn, Joe, Henry, Adam, Eve, Shirley, Ramona, Nicholas, Jonathan, Alex, Reed, Fluffy, Joshua, Zacharia, Oliver, Brock, Greg, Cashmere, Cleo, Claire, Chloe, Chicken, Bob, Marsha, Jacob, Tiger, Spots, Dots, Melon, Sabertooth, Fang, Xena, Smiley, Boris, Muffin, Cordelia, Peanut, Butter, Jelly, Snowflake, Kelly, Snowball, Rainbow, Andrew, and Willafred. I'm going to sell half of them to my stupid grandchildren for $100 each. I like to eat porridge for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes I have prunes for dessert, or a snack in between meals. I read mostly cookbooks because I need to cook for myself since I live alone. Sometimes I also have to cook for the grandchildren... shouldn't they learn to cook themselves? I used to be a librarian, but it was too loud in that place, so i quit. Now I sell my husbands old possesions on Ebay, and write an advice column for a magazine called 'Marthrine.' I don't care about kids and their problems. I just do it for the money. UNLIKE OTHER MAGAZINES(won't say any names [dg]) I DONT GIVE CRAPPY ADVICE!. You should check it out, its a new kind of magazine. My travels are extensive, I'd say, I've went to Thailand, Poland, Bolivia, Japan, China, Djabooti, Zimbabwe, Yugoslavia, South Africa, Slovakia, Turkey, Belgium, Switzerland, Norway, Sweden, Democratic Republic of the Congo (my new cat's name), etc, etc. I plan to visit Gravy this week. Ever heard of it? It's next to Turkey!
[ In the picture, it shows my favorite cat of all 53, Chloe. (My other favorite is Cashmere, but I can never seem to get a good picture of her.) I'm only going to keep those two, and sell all the others to my grandchildren.
Well thats about it, theres my bitter, lonely, lovely life for you!
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