Will Grayson: The Will Grayson who narrates during the odd chapters. His two rules of life are 1) Don't care. and 2) Shut up. His best friend is Tiny Cooper, who fails repeatedly at both these rules.
“But with friendship, there's nothing like that. Being in a relationship, that's something you choose. Being friends, that's just something you are.”
“Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That's me: I'm not that.”
“I have no idea why anyone would want to become a teacher. I mean, you have to spend the day with a group of kids who either hate your guts or are kissing up to you to get a good grade. that has to get to you after a while, being surrounded by people who will never like you for any real reason.”
“this is why we call people exes, i guess -- because the paths that cross in the middle end up separating at the end. it's too easy to see an X as a cross-out. it's not, because there's no way to cross out something like that. the X is a diagram of two paths.”
“How can our sentient fucking lives revolve around something slugs can do. I mean, who you want to screw and whether you screw them? Those are important questions, I guess. But they're not that important. You know what's important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up at five forty-five in the morning for even though you don't even know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?!”
“if frenchy's could bottle him up and sell him as porn, they'd probably own half of chicago within a year. he's what would happen after nine months if abercrombie fucked fitch. he's like a movie star, an olympic swimmer, and america's next top male model all at once. he's wearing a silver shirt and pink pants. everything about him sparkles.not my type at all but...Gay God”
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