Grandma Mazur: Stephanie's feisty grandmother. This book she is determined to become a singer with Lula.
“The story is that she asked him if he thought she was putting on weight, and he said yes, and then she stabbed him. it was one of the spontaneous acts. Mary Lee's going though the change, and everyone knows you don't just up and tell a menopausal woman she's getting fat. I swear some men have no brains at all.”
“I tell you those homosexuals are all over the place, and they get all the good jobs, too. They get to be cowboys and morticians. I never wanted to be a homosexual, but I always wanted to be a cowboy.”
“You can entrust your loved ones tia funeral parlor that takes the time to use doilies.”
Grandma Mazur: Stephanie's grandmother. She is the LOL of the story in mind. Watch out chickens. Lives at home with Stephanie's parents. Is witty and comical. Full of energy and life. Stephanie's grandma is a widow who hunts for men at the local funeral parlor. Love her! She lives at Stephanie's parent's house.
Grandma Mazur: Stephanie's grandmother. Adventurous and always ready to go on an FTA pick up
“I tell you it's pathetic. I don't know how I raised a daughter that don't even know how to have a food fight. And look at this, she fell in to a three-tiered wedding cake. This is gonna put a real crimp in the left-overs.”
Grandma Mazur: Two years ago, when Grandpa Mazur's fat clogged arteries sent him to the big pork roast in the sky, Grandma Mazur had moved in with my parents and had never moved out.She lived with my parents now that Grandpa Mazur was scarfing down his normal two-eggs-and-a-half-pound-of-bacon breakfast in the hereafter.Grandma Mazur moved in with my parents shortly after my grandfather went heavenward to dine with Elvis.Grandma Mazur came to live with my parents several years ago when my Grandpa Mazur went to the great big poker game in the sky.She lived with my parents now that my grandfather was buying his lotto tickets directly from God.My Grandmother Mazur moved in with my parents shortly after my Grandfather Mazur took his bucket of quarters to the big poker slot machine in the sky.Grandma Mazur moved in with my parents shortly after my Grandpa Mazur took his fat clogged arteries to the all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.When my Grandpa Mazur cashed in his two-dollar chips and moved on to the High Roller's suite in the sky, my Grandma Mazur moved in with my parents.Grandma Mazur rooms with my parents now that Grandpa Mazur is living la vida loca everlasting.Grandma moved in with my parents when my Grandpa Mazur got a hot pass to heaven compliments of more than a half century of bacon fat and butter cookies.My Grandma Mazur lives with my parents now that Grandpa Mazur's eating pork rinds and deep-fried peanut butter sandwiches with Elvis.
“Almost everybody I know has died. Bunch of wimps.”
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