Percy Jackson is about to be kicked out of boarding school ... again. And that's the least of his troubles. Lately, mythological monsters and the gods of Mount Olympus seem to be walking straight out of the pages of Percy's Greek mythology textbook and into his life. And worse, he's angered a... read more
Percy Jackson is a twelve-year-old boy, diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, who has been expelled from six schools, the latest being Yancy Academy. During a school field trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, his pre-algebra teacher, Mrs. Dodds, attacks Percy revealing that she... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment, as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made in the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”Percy Jackson
“Grover didn't say anything for awhile. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?”Percy Jackson
“You drool when you sleep.”Annabeth Chase
“Braccas meas vescimini! I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants'!”
“Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?”Dionysus
“Am I a troubled kid? Yeah, you could say that.”Percy Jackson
“I was alive, which was good.”Percy Jackson
“Spontaneous combustion IS a form of harm, Mr. D.”Chiron
“Cream the punk!”Clarisse
“Yes, I suppose I'd better say hello to all you brats. Well, hello. Our activities director, Chiron, says the next capture the flag is Friday. Cabin 5 presently holds the laurels. Personally, I couldn't care less, but congratulations.”Mr. D/Dionysus
“Food....”Grover Underwood
“What are you thinking? I'm thinking that I want you on my team for capture the flag.”Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase
“Because you're my friend Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson
“Sounds like a plan worthy of Athena.”Percy Jackson
“What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades’ underwear?”Percy Jackson
“I thought she would say something like "Your so cool!" or "Wow you killed a Minotaur!". Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep." And ran off.”Percy, Annabeth
“If you do not announce your intentions, we will assume you have vacated your cabin or died a horrible death. Cleaning harpies will begin work at sundown. They will be authorized to eat any unregistered campers. All personal articles left behind will be incinerated in the lava pit! Have a nice day!”Mr. D/Dionysus
“Hey my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!' He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff. Instead of finding a path, I immediately slammed into a tree and got a nice-size knot on my head.”Grover Underwood and Percy Jackson
“'Show's over!" I yelled."'Thank you! Good night!" I wondered if Olympus had gone to a commercial break or if our ratings had been any good.”Percy Jackson
“Wouldn't that put a twist in your toga?”Chiron
“I'd love to tell you I had some deep revelation on my way down, that I came to terms with my own mortality, laughed in the face of death, et cetera. The Truth? My only thought was Aaaaggghhhhh!”Percy Jackson
“I could smell food. Fried, greasy, excellent food. I realized I hadn't eaten anything unhealthy since I'd arrived at Half-Blood Hill, where we lived on grapes, bread, cheese, and extra-lean-cut nymph-prepared barbecue. This boy needed a double cheeseburger.”Percy Jackson
“Look, I didn't want to be a half- blood.”
“Did I mention that Maine is very nice this time of year?”Grover Underwood
“Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.”Percy Jackson
“The thing was wearing underwear, and not just any underwear. Bright jumbo mamba underwear. It would have been funny if the top half weren't so scary.”Percy Jackson
“In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday," both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes.”
“Poseidon," said Chiron. "Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”Chiron
“Once you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war.”Annabeth Chase
“Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.”
“You shall go west, and face the god who has turned. You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely returned. You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend. And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.”The Prophecy
“Old Seaweed!”Ares (Referring to Poseidon)
“Old Corpse Breath!”Ares (Referring to Hades)
“Seaweed Brain!”Annabeth Chase (Referring to Percy)
“Wise Girl!”Percy Jackson (Referring to Annabeth)
“Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes.”Annabeth Chase
“Leave it to a girl to make everything complicated.”Percy Jackson
“Boys always messed things up.”Annabeth Chase
“Please. I'm not into self-inflicted pain.”Annabeth Chase
“It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”Chiron via Percy Jackson
“Knowing too much of your future is never a good thing.”Chiron
“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”Percy Jackson
“The plan," Grover gulped. "Yeah. I love the plan.”Grover
“"I'm going to kill her I mumbled.'' "It's okay, I like peanut butter.''”Percy,Grover
“"Don't say I didn't warn you."”Percy Jackson
“Eat my pants!”-Percy Jackson
“Shut up, goat boy”
“Shut up, goat boy”- Annabeth Chase
“"Don't say I didn't warn you"”- Percy Jackson
“"The guy on the bike would've made pro wrestlers run for mama."”-Percy Jackson
“"He hauled me away before I could punch a hole in the appliance store window."”- Percy Jackson
“' A kid could stay safe if they weren't stupid.'”-Percy Jackson
“Poseidon,” said Chiron. “Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”Highlighted by 457 Kindle customers
“Braccas meas vescimini!” I yelled. I wasn’t sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant “Eat my pants!”Highlighted by 439 Kindle customers
“Oh, nobody much,” Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. “Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions.”Highlighted by 430 Kindle customers
But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately. You might be one of us.Highlighted by 393 Kindle customers
You should’ve seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.Highlighted by 356 Kindle customers
In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart’s Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff ’s “So Yesterday,” both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes.Highlighted by 317 Kindle customers
“Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan’s stomach.Highlighted by 280 Kindle customers
I thought about that as we waited for the ghouls to pass. I pretended not to see Annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of Cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend.Highlighted by 272 Kindle customers
Grover tried to calm me down. “It’s okay. I like peanut butter.”Highlighted by 230 Kindle customers
I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHERHighlighted by 205 Kindle customers
1. I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-algebra Teacher / 1
2. Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death / 16
3. Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants / 29
4. My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting / 44
5. I Play Pinochle with a Horse / 57
6. I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom / 75
7. My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke / 93
8. We Capture a Flag / 107
9. I Am Offered a Quest / 127
10. I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus / 149
11. We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium / 168
12. We Get Advice from a Poodle / 188
13. I Plunge to My Death / 197
14. I Become a Known Fugitive / 212
15. A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers / 219
16. We Take a Zebra to Vegas / 242
17. We Shop for Water Beds / 266
18. Annabeth Does Obedience School / 283
19. We Find Out the Truth, Sort Of / 300
20. I Battle My Jerk Relative / 320
21. I Settle My Tab / 334
22. The Prophecy Comes True / 354
On page 81 of the paperback version the Ares cabin is described as Cabin Number 5. On page 324, talking about the boar, the Ares cabin is named cabin 7.
Followed by The Sea of Monsters.
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