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Liked It1 of 1 members found this review helpful “This book will simply blow your mind away. Like so many revolutions, it comes as no shock that people uncomfortable with the notion that parents do not have absolute power will react with rejection. True, as in any other parenting book I've read, it's not a book to be taken as the final word on...” see full review » see other reviews » |
Didn’t Like It “Don't waste your time on this one - although it purports to be scientific, it isn't. The author is clearly unhappy with the (incorrect) notion that parents assume all responsibility for how their children turn out, so she tries to make the case that we bear no responsibility. Instead, she...” see full review » see other reviews » |
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“A very interesting and thought provoking book. A good balance to the misunderstood but overstated assumption in psychodynamic theory of the pre-eminence of the influence of parents, and a reminder of other influences (such as peers and siblings) on the developing Self. She’s still not convinced me that the parent/child relationship does not prime peer group experience but she does go some way to broadening influences. Found the book somewhat repetitive though, and her journalistic writing style was a little annoying. Would nevertheless recommend (especially to colleagues that need help in pulling their client's thoughts back from the blame drain - 'I understand but now what').”
Alan M wrote this review 4 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No
“I discovered it when Newsweek published a cover story about it and I was drawn to the controversy. That Steven Pinker endorsed it so emphatically, further intrigued me. I wasn't disappointed when I read it. Harris raised a lot of doubts about conventional wisdom regarding why our children turn out the way they do. Ten years later and I still often refer to this book when discussing child-rearing with other parents, especially when the topic turns to peer influences.”
John C wrote this review Sunday, August 9 2009. ( reply | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No
“Made me realize that my switching schools every other year was at the root of my high school depression.”
Michael H wrote this review Sunday, June 14 2009. ( reply | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No1 of 1 members found this review helpful“This book will simply blow your mind away. Like so many revolutions, it comes as no shock that people uncomfortable with the notion that parents do not have absolute power will react with rejection. True, as in any other parenting book I've read, it's not a book to be taken as the final word on development. Having said that, it brings to the forefront a deep realization of just how strongly such influences as peers and schools really impact who a child turns out to be. I also appreciated her analysis of "Born to Rebel", by Sulloway, which when I read it, showed a clear bias that tainted everything he chose to present.”
Shatibi wrote this review Saturday, May 9 2009. ( reply | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No“Don't waste your time on this one - although it purports to be scientific, it isn't. The author is clearly unhappy with the (incorrect) notion that parents assume all responsibility for how their children turn out, so she tries to make the case that we bear no responsibility. Instead, she claims that a child's peers, not their parents, shape a child's environment. I don't know about anyone else, but in my family, my parents managed my contact with peers!
Joy S wrote this review Saturday, September 6 2008. ( reply | view 1 replies | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No
She depends heavily on anecdotal evidence and apples to oranges comparisons. Although she includes a lengthy bibliography, none of her statements of "fact" regarding other authors' works are footnoted.”
“Last week I watched Mansfield Park, a dramatisation of the Jane Austen classic. One of the ideas that has changed since that book was written, at least in the West, is that people are born either upper class or lower class. Then the tides turned and this became completely un-pc, and for the last however long we've been blaming parents for the problems of their offspring. Someone came up with the convenient and alliterative 'nature vs nurture' and we've been stuck with the phrase ever since. Harris, however, presents a different view, perhaps going too far but nevertheless making a good point: the 'environment' is just as important (actually more so, she says) than anything parents do. She believes parents have been led to believe they can have more impact on their children's personality than they actually do. She does believe in nature and heritability (as she calls it) but after children leave the nest at preschool and enter the big, wide world, peers become far more influential in the shaping of someone's personality. Moreover, a happy childhood doesn't necessarily mean a happy adulthood, and vice versa. She also pays little attention to recent studies on the effect of birth order on personality. She believes that our birth order affects the way we behave when we're with our families, but that people behave differently when we are on our own in the world. This, she reasons, is why we can lead perfectly happy lives and then go home at Christmas to find ourselves behaving like we did before we left home. I found this a thought provoking book. Even if you don't believe it, Harris encourages us to critically examine the 'evidence' presented in psychological reports, especially when the evidence comes solely from observations and interviews conducted within the family unit.”
Lynley S wrote this review Sunday, March 9 2008. ( reply | permalink ) Was this review helpful? Yes | No
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