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Julian B
65 of 99 members found this review helpful.
  • Rated 1 stars

I'm reading this right now because I've met so many adult women who are so obsessed with this book. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.

And it's shit. Utter shit.

There are so many things wrong with it, I haven't time or space to discuss them all. But the worst part is the protagonist/narrator, Bella Swan. She's whiny, self-pitying, dull, and completely self-absorbed. She has no interests or passions to speak of until she gets caught up in her obsessive love for a vampire named Edward.

Edward, for his part, is obsessed with Bella because she's the one human he's met whose mind he cannot read. What Edward doesn't realize, however, is that there is nothing there worth reading. Bella may be mysterious to him, but the laughable part is that she's just a dumb, shallow, whiny teenaged girl; tThere is no mystery.

The plot is thin, the premise poorly-realized, and there are glaring lapses in basic logic to be found throughout the book. Other characters, settings, and situations are just flimsy backdrops against which the Edward-Bella folie au deux plays out.

The only explanation I have for Twilight's popularity--especially with fans over the age of 14 or 15--is that it offers up a fantasy in which a girl with all the personality, drive, and self-confidence of a clod of dirt can still be, singled out, above all other girls, to be the Eternal One True Love of a truly extraordinary young man. You don't have to be talented, or cool, or funny, or have any plans for your future; you don't have to be graceful or have great clothes or drive an expensive car; you don't have to have any friends or social skills or an interesting family--he'll sweep you off your feet and love you, and only you.

Trouble is, Edward is manipulative, controlling, and engages in the kind of behavior that would send any sane woman fleeing. When a guy lets himself into your house--without asking, without telling you--just so he can watch you sleep? That's not romantic; that's stalker behavior. When a guy makes it clear that he could easily lose control and kill you, even though he "loves" you? That's not sensitivity; that's horrifying. When a guy tells you that he knows what's best for you, and that you need his protection? That's not love; it's control.

In real life, the shared obsession (I'm not dignifying it with the word "love") Edward and Bella have would be considered an unhealthy, even abusive, relationship. It's not romantic, not in any worthy sense of the term. So when I see teenage girls and grown women say how they wish they could find their Edward, or that more men were like Edward, I can only cringe.

Julian B wrote this review Thursday, July 17 2008. ( reply | view 30 replies | permalink )
  • Gayle M

    gayle m said:

    I was going to write a review on the book, but then I found this and realized it was unnecessary. You hit all the points I was aiming for, and you did it was a very fine style. The books are, at best, complete escapism, and that's fine and dandy, but they're also just bad. Full disclosure: I only made it to the end of chapter eight, so my view on the other three books is based on the fact that I only made it through a third of the book that's supposed to make me fall in love with the series. So, thank you for writing such a strong review. I'll be referring to it if anyone wants my thoughts on the matter.

    posted Thursday, April 9 2009
  • Ben P

    ben p said:

    This post has been deleted

    posted Thursday, April 23 2009 ( | view 2 replies )
  • Aishwarya Swan-Cullen

    aishwarya swan-cullen said:

    I find it sadly dissapointing that there are still people int he world who fail to realize that whatever you wrote up there is false in any and everyway, because the way you have looked at it is very, very close minded. You need toopen up, and by doing so, you will realize that if you had read Twilight with an open mind, the smallest of everything would have caught your attention and that the light would say that it DOES have a plot, Bella is NOT a whiny teenager and that Edward did not only fall in love with her because he couldn't read her mind. I think you're being very immaturely strategic for a grown adult and you should know better than to jusdge it without an open mind. I'm not saying that your opinion is wrong, no, but you are being sadly mean to one of the greatest book series ever to be written. "Trouble is, Edward is manipulative, controlling, and engages in the kind of behavior that would send any sane woman fleeing. When a guy lets himself into your house--without asking, without telling you--just so he can watch you sleep? That's not romantic; that's stalker behavior. When a guy makes it clear that he could easily lose control and kill you, even though he "loves" you? That's not sensitivity; that's horrifying. When a guy tells you that he knows what's best for you, and that you need his protection? That's not love; it's control." He is stalking her because he is curious about her - and as far as I'm concerned, boys will cease to stalk girls if the girl can just say it to their face. Bella knows about the stalking and she even approved of it, so it is not Edward's fault that finally, in a hundred years, he has found someone. Obviously, his love skills are rusty, so what should he do? Love is an indescribably thing, and I'm very angry at you for using your opinion as a fact to describe it. Who do you think you are - Aphrodite?? Venus?? The nerve of you to talk that way!! The kill thing is not horrifying because Bella once more approves of it, and he is being considerate at least warning her of the fact that he is dangerous - and yet what can he do if she wants to cling on to him? Is it that hard to at least see this trace of True Love?? The control part, by the way, is what keeps couples together most of the times, because he sees Bella with his own perspective, and he can see with his own eyes the very factors that affect her being, like himself, which HE DID try to get rid of. That is not control, dear lady. I don't think you've been in love because whatever your points are on a true love-love relationship is a very imbecilic outlook. "Edward, for his part, is obsessed with Bella because she's the one human he's met whose mind he cannot read. What Edward doesn't realize, however, is that there is nothing there worth reading. Bella may be mysterious to him, but the laughable part is that she's just a dumb, shallow, whiny teenaged girl; tThere is no mystery." Who says he fell in love with her for that? The way she talks and her locked privacy that she gives out in small poirtions intrigues him, because hardly any people come like that - Bella is unique in her own way, and if Edward's love clouded eyes saw that ingenuity in her, that is not his fault nor something you should scorn. Seriously, get a life or a true love. "The only explanation I have for Twilight's popularity--especially with fans over the age of 14 or 15--is that it offers up a fantasy in which a girl with all the personality, drive, and self-confidence of a clod of dirt can still be, singled out, above all other girls, to be the Eternal One True Love of a truly extraordinary young man. You don't have to be talented, or cool, or funny, or have any plans for your future; you don't have to be graceful or have great clothes or drive an expensive car; you don't have to have any friends or social skills or an interesting family--he'll sweep you off your feet and love you, and only you. " WRONG WRONG WRONG yet again. I will not comment, because your pathetic insults are really annoying and its just a simple waste of my time. "It's not romantic, not in any worthy sense of the term" Prove how so. "So when I see teenage girls and grown women say how they wish they could find their Edward, or that more men were like Edward, I can only cringe." Cringe all you want Little Dumb One because you have never ever seen the love and rspect he has for Bella, the care he gives her and his anger with himself for putting her in danger. In fact, I hope you never find your Edward, because no one who fails to at least get a whiff of true love from the thrilling tale or to quit judging true love and defining it is worthy of ANY type of love at all.

    posted Saturday, April 25 2009 ( | view 2 replies )
  • blondefury

    blondefury said:

    Great review!

    posted Wednesday, May 13 2009
  • Ivy C

    ivy c said:

    The original review was exactly my thoughts. I want all the raving fans to know: When I saw the Twilight lover replies, I began to laugh so ridiculously hard that I my whole family had to check that I was not dying or being attacked. I am twelve by the way, I wonder if being a child is a reliable shield against becoming one of those "EDWADLOVA!" people? But don't worry, I don't intend to become insane the moment I turn thirteen.

    posted Wednesday, May 13 2009
  • Madison Rose

    madison rose said:

    I think that you have made a good review with your opinion, but I do disagree. I think that, although Bella might not be the best role model for teenage girls because of her need for Edward, she is still a good character, because characters do not have to be good role models. It is better, though, when a main character is a good influence, but it isn't mandatory. People make mistakes in their lives, and books are about life. Books are meant to be read for fun and enjoyment and truly don't need to be dissected like this. Sorry you felt this way, though, and that you couldn't enjoy it.

    posted Saturday, May 16 2009
  • Mahar I

    mahar i said:

    Hey, did you forget that he is a vampire!?!?!

    posted Sunday, May 31 2009
  • Asha C

    asha c said:

    Actually,all the people that want to talk about these books in an innapropriate way,all i have to say to you is~you should talk~if you hate this book so much,what youv'e should of did before you wasted your grimey money on it was go on the web and look for the blog on it!and second,you guys are useless because you gonna sit at your computerand talk crud about it and hurt every body elses feelings! What I think on the book~it awsome!unlikethe shallow people that like to talk crap!

    posted Thursday, June 25 2009
  • Katie S

    katie s said:

    YOU ROCK I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!!!!!

    posted Saturday, June 27 2009
  • Chocolate Zen

    chocolate zen said:

    awesome review. You nailed it.

    posted Monday, June 29 2009
  • Lape S

    lape s said:

    hadn't heard that much about twilight before i read it, but when i started i immediately became obsessed with it, i wondered why a married woman with children would get so involved in a book clearly targeted at adolescents. i think what you are missing here is not only the target audience (which clearly is not you) but also that fantasy love usually is obsessive and does not require any rational reasons for existing. sadly i think you do not have within yourself the capacity to get lost in entertainment for the sake of itself. life is real enough, why should fantasy reflect that? this book was not meant for you, i don't think it was meant for me either but you read it with a biased mind and lost whatever you could have got from it. for me it was a temporary pleasurable escape. and i was all the more happy to return to reality afterwards.

    posted Saturday, July 11 2009
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