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Description edit
A strange novel for strange young people. Young Samuel Johnson and his dachshund Boswell are trying to show initiative by trick-or-treating a full three days before Hallowe'en. Which is how they come to witness strange goings-on at 666 Crowley Avenue. The Abernathys don't mean any harm by... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Summary edit
Samuel Johnson is a very strange little boy. He has strong opinions and ideas; he is in other words eccentric. He likes to show initiative quite a bit, even though the adults in his community disapprove. He has decided to show initiative once again by trick-or-treating a full three days before... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
Characters edit
- Samuel Johnson: 11 year-old boy who first discovers there might be something wrong in the basement of 666 Crowley Road and with, Boswell, his trusty dachshund sidekick stops the gates of hell from opening
- Tom: Samuel's friend from school that's really good at cricket
- Maria: Samuel's friend at school, she wants to become a scientist
- Boswell: Samuel's dog that goes everywhere with him
- Nurd: Demon that breaks free from his exile and goes to the human world
- Wormwood: Nurd's servant.
- Mrs. Abernathy: Neighbor of Samuel who lives at 666 Crowley Road. She wants to open the gates of hell to help the Great Evil
- Mrs. Johnson: Samuel's mother, she doesn't believe him when he tells her about the gates
- Dr. Planck: Scientist that answers the email to CERN
- Mrs. Renfield: Mrs. Abernathy's helper in opening the gates of hell who trys to take her spot as leader
- Victor: A friend of Reverend Usher.
- Reverend Usher: holy man that Samuel tries to get help from but he doesn't believe him
- Bishop Bernard the Bad: Bishop in Biddlecombe in the 14th century who built the church of St. Timidus and is buried underneath it
- Mr. Hume: Samuel's teacher who is constantly vexed by his precociousness
Quotes edit
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“Adults say lots of things that they don’t quite mean, usually just to be polite, which is no bad thing. They also say things that are exactly the opposite of what they appear to mean, such as: 1. “To be perfectly honest…”, which means “I am lying through my teeth.” 2. “I hear what you’re saying…”, which means “I hear it, but I’m not really listening, and I don’t agree with you anyway.” 3. “I don’t mean to be rude…”, which means “I mean to be rude.”There are some people who use phrases like this more often than anyone else, and who become very good at using them to avoid answering questions or telling the entire truth. These people are known as “politicians”.”
Samuel -
“Whenever someone uses the word “glitch”, which means a fault of some kind in a system, you should immediately be suspicious, because it means that they don’t know what it is. A technician who uses the term “glitch” is like a doctor who tells you you’re suffering from a “thingy”, except the doctor won’t tell you to go home and try turning yourself on and off again.”
Samuel -
“About one percent of the static that sometimes appears on your television set is a relic of the Big Bang and, if your eyes were sensitive to microwave light instead of just visible light, then the sky at night would appear white instead of black, as it continues to glow from the heat of the Big Bang. And because atoms are so small, and are constantly recycled, every breath you take contains atoms that were once breathed by Julius Caesar and Elvis Presley. So a little bit of you once ruled Rome, and sang “Blue Suede Shoes”.”
Samuel
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Schwell, the Demon of Uncomfortable Shoes; Ick, the Demon of Unpleasant Things Discovered in Plug Holes During Cleaning; Graham, the Demon of Stale Biscuits and Crackers; Mavis, the Demon of Inappropriate Names for Men; and last, and quite possibly least, Erics’, the Demon of Bad Punctuation.
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After all, not doing bad things is not the same as doing good things, but that is why you and I will never become saints.
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astronomers who were recently sifting through thousands of signals from Sagittarius B2, a big dust cloud at the center of our galaxy, found a substance there called ethyl formate, which is the chemical responsible for the flavor of raspberries, and the smell of rum, the drink popular with pirates. Therefore, our galaxy tastes a bit of raspberries and smells of rum, which is nice.
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In general, it’s a good idea to avoid people who take themselves too seriously. As individuals, we have only so much seriousness to go round, and people who take themselves very seriously don’t have enough seriousness left over to take other people seriously. Instead they tend to look down on them, and are secretly pleased when they get stuff wrong, because they just prove to the too-serious types that they were right not to take them seriously to begin with.
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O’Dear, the Demon of People Who Look in Mirrors and Think They’re Overweight, and his twin, O’Really, the Demon of People Who Look in Mirrors and Think They’re Slim When They’re Not.
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heard the sound of emptiness, which, as anyone knows, is not the same thing as no sound, since it includes all the noise that someone was expecting to hear, but doesn’t.
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There are some people who use phrases like this more often than anyone else, and who become very good at using them to avoid answering questions or telling the entire truth. These people are known as “politicians.”
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Presley. So a little bit of you formerly ruled Rome, and sang “Blue Suede Shoes.”
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Ulp, the Demon of Things That Go Round for Slightly Too Long, with additional responsibility for the Smell of Cotton Candy When you’re Not Feeling Yourself, and the Lingering Odor of Small Children Being Unwell.
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Most people are not bad. Oh, they do bad things sometimes, and we all have a little badness in us, but very few people are unspeakably evil, and most of the bad things they do seem perfectly reasonable to them at the time. Perhaps they’re bored, or selfish, or greedy, but, for the most part, they don’t actually want to hurt anyone when they do bad things. They just want to make their own lives a little easier.
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Setting & Locations edit
- Hell: Where the Great Malevolence is. It's a miserable place full of miserable souls and demons.
- Wasteland: Where Nurd is exiled to. It's a miserable place with rocks, more rocks, and even more rocks.
- China: It's a country in Eastern Asia. It is currently one of the largest countries in the world.
- Crowley Road: The road that Samuel and the Abernathys live on.
- Biddlecombe
First Sentence edit
In the night in question, Mr. Abernathy answered the door to find a small figure dressed in a white sheet standing on his porch.
Table of Contents edit
I. In Which the Universe Forms, Which Seems Like a Very Good Place to Start
II. In Which We Encounter a Small Boy, His Dog, and Some People Who Are Up to No Good
III. In Which We Learn About Particle Accelerators, and the Playing of "Battleships"
IV. In Which We Learn About the Inadvisability of Attempting to Summon Up Demons, and of Generally Messing About with the Afterlife
V. In Which We Meet Nurd, Who Is Not Quite As Terrifying As He Would Like to Be, but a Great Deal Unluckier
VI. In Which We Encounter Stephanie, Who Is Not a Demon, but Is Still Not Terribly Nice
VII. In Which Scientists Wonder What the Bit Was, and Where It Might Have Gone
VIII. In Which Samuel Learns That Someone Trying to Open the Gates of Hell Is Not of Particular Concern to His Mum
IX. In Which We Learn a Little About the Gates of Hell, None of Which is Entirely Helpful
X. In Which We Learn of the Difficulties Involved in Being a Demon Without a Clearly Defined Form
XI. In Which We Encounter the Scientists Again
XII. In Which We Meet, Once Again, the Unfortunate Nurd, Who Is About to Take Another Unexpected Trip
XIII. In Which Samuel Decides to Consult an Expert on Demons and Hell, but Doesn't Get Anywhere
XIV. In Which We Learn That It Is Sometimes Wise to Be Afraid of the Dark
XV. In Which Samuel Johnson Begins to Fight Back
XVI. In Which We Visit the Abernathy House, and Decide That We Wouldn't Want to Live There
XVII. In Which Mrs. Abernathy Changes Her Plans
XVIII. In Which the Portal Opens Wide
XIX. In Which Assorted Foul Things Begin to Arrive, and Nurd Discovers the Joys of Motoring
XX. In Which It Becomes Increasingly Clear That the Demons Are Not Going to Have Things All Their Own Way
XXI. In Which the Verger is Assaulted, and a Very Unpleasant Person Comes Back to Life
XXII. In Which the Forces of Law and Order Take an Interest in Nurd
XXIII. In Which We Learn That One Should Be Careful About Accepting Anything That Is Offered for Nothing
XXIV. In Which Nurd Puts on an Unexpected Show for the Police
XXV. In Which Bishop Bernard the Bad Makes His Presence Felt, and the Dead Rise from Their Graves, but Only the Nasty Ones
XXVI. In Which Constable Peel Wishes He Had Pursued Some Other Profession, and Dr. Planck Reappears
XXVII. In Which We Meet Bishop Bernard the Bad at Last, and Constable Peel Enjoys Himself Immensely
XXVIII. In Which Nurd Makes a New Friend and Meets Some Old Acquaintances
XXIX. In Which Nurd Proves to Be Rather Decent, Actually
XXX. In Which Mrs. Abernathy Loses the Battle, but Sets Out to Win the War
XXXI. In Which Mrs. Abernathy Reveals Her True Colors
XXXII. In Which Everyone Lives Happily Ever After, or So It Seems
XXXIII. In Which We Bid Farewell to Nurd. For Now.
Acknowledgments
Series & Lists edit
This is book 1 of 2 in Samuel Johnson vs the Devil. (standard series)
Followed by Hell's Bells.
Authors & Contributors edit
- John Connolly (Author)
First Edition edit
Original Language: English
Publisher: ATRIA BOOKS
Country: United States
Publication Date: 2009
ISBN: 9781439172636
Page Count: 296
Publisher: ATRIA BOOKS
Country: United States
Publication Date: 2009
ISBN: 9781439172636
Page Count: 296
Awards edit
- Barry Award (Finalist, 2010: Best Novel)
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: PR6053.O48645G38 2009
- Dewey: 823.914
Subjects edit
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