The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance (2009) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit see section history

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Characters/People edit see section history

• Matt: Add a description of this character.
• Hayes
• Tina
• Paul Stowe
• Brady
• Jeff
• Julia
• Warren Beatty
• Alison
• Jill
• Letterman
• Kevin
• Elna
• Shannon
• Amber Cunningham
• Wade
• Vinny
• Dr. Levin
• Joseph Smith
• Carol
• Jim
• Veronica

Quotes edit see section history

• “Mormonism can sound pretty far-fetched: Joseph Smith digs up golden plates and translates them into a book, The Book of Mormon. This book ends up being a history of the ancestors of the Native Americans, who originated in Jerusalem and believed in Jesus.When you write it all out like that you can't help but reconsider. Once I tried explaining it to a friend who had made the mistake of thinking the founder of the Mormon faith was John Smith. I told him that it was actually Joseph Smith, and then I went into all the things that I believed. I thought I was doing a good job explaining everything until he said, "So basically John Smith and Joseph Smith were two different people but, according to you, Pocahontas was actually a Jew?”

• “By the age of six, I was already asking my mother, "When do we graduate from church?" At this point I had entered school and understood that while school was "not fun," it was necessary. But there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Some day, many years away, I would be done with school, and the word for that was *graduate.* To my dismay I was told that the word to describe being done with church was *death.*”

• “So I decided to stick with it, and after four years of being a Mormon in New York, I've become a reluctant spokesperson for my faith. I'm constantly answering questions or explaining my religion. After having at least a hundred conversations, one thing has become very clear: People just don't get Mormons. They think I'm Mormon because I haven't read enough books yet.”

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• “Impossible is Nothing,” it said. “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

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• When you’re trying to change, every good decision you make adds up, and saying no gets easier because each day you have more evidence that you can.

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• “He may not be able to give you clothes,” Aailyah translated, “or a roof over your head. And some nights, when you go to bed, you may go to bed hungry. But if you can do this together, with a smile on your face—then he’s a good man.”

  Highlighted by 38 Kindle customers

• I think most religious people experience just as much doubt as they do faith; they just don’t admit it. And I don’t think doubting makes you bad. I think it makes you smart.

  Highlighted by 37 Kindle customers

• And it’s why I love saying yes. When you say yes you can start and end the day in two totally different places. Yes takes that space between unlimited possibilities and reality, and stretches it out so that anything can happen.

  Highlighted by 32 Kindle customers

• I prayed to be able to see myself through God’s eyes so that I could realize my potential.

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• When you grow up learning that God loves his children, that he watches out for each and every one of us, and that we all were put here with a purpose, it makes sense, but only from the comfort of your suburban home.

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• I love that moment of unlimited possibilities so much that I’ve accidentally built my entire life there.

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• “How can you be with someone who loves you in spite of the very best things about you?”

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• I’ve spent a decade saying yes to both sides, stalling and questioning, not ready to choose and watch my life become simpler and more ordinary. Only without definite or definable values I’m a genuine indeterminate. I am what I might be, not what I am.

  Highlighted by 14 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• New York City
• Britain
• Utah
• South Africa
• Zanzibar
• Mormonism
• Seattle
• Zambia
• Manhattan
• Spain
• Nobu
• London
• Byu
• Madrid
• Philadelphia

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Elna Baker (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 289.3092

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Biographies & Memoirs › Specific Groups › Women
• Books › Entertainment › Humor
• Books › Biographies & Memoirs › Memoirs

Links to Supplemental Material edit see section history

• Elna Baker: The author's website and blog.
• This American Life - Episode 421: Act Three. My Own Private U.F.O. - A story about God and extraterrestrials, told by Elna Baker. Elna is the author of a memoir called The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance.
• The Moth Podcast - Episode 205: A retired felon remembers his tenure in pickpocket school; a Mormon virgin gives us an episode of No-Sex in the City; and the victim of a random stabbing has his day in court. Hosted by The Moth's former Executive and Creative Director, Lea Thau.