This book is a messed up story about an "evil genius" named Oliver who has somehow gotten it into his head that he is the third richest man in the world. Although at school he acts like he is mentally retarded, he decides he would like to bust his fortune on becoming his class president.
Chapter 1: Fear Me
Chapter 2: Children Are Vermin
Chapter 3: I Am Inconvenienced
Chapter 4: Behind Every Great Fortune Is A Crime
Chapter 5: My Dog Lollipop
Chapter 6: Girls Can Be Cruel
Chapter 7: What Use Is A Newborn Baby?
Chapter 8: I Accept A Challenge
Chapter 9: Fast And Bulbous
Chapter 10: Boys Are Idiots
Chapter 11: A Brief Discourse On Evil
Chapter 12: A Phone Call To The Luxuria Corporation Customer Service Help Line.
Chapter 13: Thwarted
Chapter 14: Oliver Watson's Theater Of The Mind Presents Three Plays For Your Amusement
Chapter 15: Evil Is Made, Not Born
Chapter 16: I Draw A Historical Parallel
Chapter 17: I Am In A Foul Mood
Chapter 18: What Are You Looking At, Butthead?
Chapter 19: News Flashes
Chapter 20: "Meet Cute"
Chapter 21: Love is In The Air
Chapter 22: I Will Stand Athwart This Globe Like A Terrifying Colossus And I Will Step On You if You Try To Look Up My Shorts
Chapter 23: Daddy Has Other Things On His Mind
Chapter 24: How To Run For Class President
Chapter 25: Transcript From A Pledge Drive
Chapter 26: A Visit To Stately Sheldrake Manor
Chapter 27: Suddenly, My House Smells Like Lip Gloss
Chapter 28: Call And Response
Chapter 29: Extreme Makeover--Dork Edition
Chapter 30: I Will Be Very Honest. I Did Not See This One Coming
Chapter 31: Extreme Makeover--Mega-Dork Edition
Chapter 32: Just Another School Assembly
Chapter 33: Aftermath
Chapter 34: I Think My Father Has Gone Insane
Chapter 35: I Feel Like I've Bitten A Lightbulb
Chapter 36: Oh, The Humanity
Chapter 37: Revenge Of Aftermath!
Chapter 38: The Moment You've All Been Waiting For
Chapter 39: Madness
Chapter 40: (See Plate 18)
Chapter 41: Go Away
Chapter 42: Seriously, Go Away
Chapter 43: Fine