Dear Reader,
You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been...
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Under a new government program based on the saying "It takes a village to raise a child," the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by an entire town, with disastrous results.
“For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.”Lemony Snicket
“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said.”Lemony Snicket
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.Highlighted by 36 Kindle customers
“‘Murder’ is the word for a group of crows, like a flock of geese or a herd of cows or a convention of orthodontists.Highlighted by 32 Kindle customers
For sapphires we are held in here. Only you can end our fear.Highlighted by 31 Kindle customers
Until dawn comes we cannot speak. No words can come from this sad beak.Highlighted by 30 Kindle customers
“Fata morgana is when your eyes play tricks on you, particularly in hot weather,”Highlighted by 27 Kindle customers
“Small potatoes” is a phrase which has nothing to do with root vegetables that happen to be tiny in size. Instead, it refers to the change in one’s feelings for something when it is compared with something else. If you were walking in the rain, for instance, you might be worried about getting wet, but if you turned the corner and saw a pack of vicious dogs, getting wet would suddenly become small potatoes next to getting chased down an alley and barked at, or possibly eaten.Highlighted by 26 Kindle customers
“Count Olaf has been captured,” she said, and the Baudelaires felt as if a bolt of lightning had struck them once more.Highlighted by 26 Kindle customers
The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen. An aphorism is merely a small group of words arranged in a certain order because they sound good that way, but oftentimes people tend to say them as if they were saying something very mysterious and wise.Highlighted by 25 Kindle customers
Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you.Highlighted by 24 Kindle customers
If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled “How to Build a Chair” instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling.Highlighted by 24 Kindle customers
This book has thirteen untitled chapters.
Preceded by The Ersatz Elevator, and followed by The Hostile Hospital.
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