Going Bovine (edit title)

1. In Which I Introduce Myself
2. Wherein the Cruelties of High School Are Recounted, and the Stoner Dudes of the Fourth-Floor Bathroom Offer Me Subpar Weed and a Physics Lesson
3. Which Treats of the Particulars of High School Hallway Etiquette and the Fact that Staci Johnson Is Evil; Also Unfairly Hot
4. In Which a Brief Sanctuary is Found, I fail to Comprehend Jazz, and I Am Forced to Have a Conversation with My Asshole Father
5. Wherein I Have a Very Strange Encounter While Stoned and Employ a Fraying Pan in My Defense
6. Wherein My Part-time Gainful Employment Proves to Be a Hell Beyond All Imagining and I make a Most Curious-Okay, Really Weird- Sighting
7. In Which I Am Subjected to the Slings and Arrows of Dinner with My Family
8. Two Weeks Later-- Of What Happens When I Punch Chet King in the Stomach and Not Even Intentionally
9. Wherein I Am Subjected to Visits with Two Therapists and an Epic Fail with an Ergo-Chair
10. Of What Happens When I Find Myself on a Dark Country Road and the Sky Rains Fire
11. In Which I Recount the Untold Joys of MRIs and Open-Backed Hospital Gowns
12. Wherein, Now That I'm Officially Screwed, a Pep Rally Is Celebrated on My Behalf, and Staci Johnson Gives Me the Time of Day
13. In Which I Check into the Hospital and Have an Encounter with an Angel and Other Strange Annoying Things
14. In Which I Wake Up
15. Of What Happens When I Am Assigned a Mission of Crazy Importance or Just Plain Craziness. Because Sometimes It's Hard to Know the Difference
16. Wherein I try to Convince the Dwarf to Leave Behind the Comforts of Recycled Toilet Paper in Order to Accompany Me on a Mission to Possibly Maybe Save the World
17. Which Treats of Our Daring Escape from St. Jude's and Our Talk with a Stinky Dude in a Tinfoil Hat
18. In Which We Make a Stop in New Orleans and Gonzo Refuses to Eat Fish, Annoying the Crap out of Me and Our Waitress
19. Wherein We Have and Encounter with a Drag Queen and the Most Famous Jazzman Alice or Dead
20. In Which We Visit a Cemetery and I Receive a Message. Sort of. I hope.
21. In Which Junior Webster's Cryptic Message Does Not Become Any More Uncryptic, and the Worst Pictures Ever Taken of Us Are Circulated
22. Wherein the Angel Discusses the Wonders of Microwave Popcorn and Gonzo Gets Our Asses Stranded in the Middle of Nowhere
23. Wherein We Take a Van Ride with Possible Serial Killers
24. Of What Happens When I Bowl a Perfect Strike and Learn Not to Hurt My Happiness
25. About What Happens When I Learn the Secret of Perfect Bowling and the Revolution Goes Down Big-Time
26. In Which Some People's Happiness Gets Its Butt Kicked and Gonzo and I Make Our Escape
27. Wherein We Crash at the Mister Motel and I Learn Some Stuff About the Ayatollah of Harsh
28. Which Treats of My Visit to a Keg Party and of My Chance Encounter With the World's Grumpiest Yard Gnome
29. In Which I Learn That Two Very Small People Can Add up to a Major Pain in the Ass and We Nearly Bite It at the Konstant Kettle
30. In Which We Buy a Car and the Gnome Gets a New Outfit
31. Wherein We Make Up Bumper Stickers and I Introduce the Joy of the Great Tremolo
32. Of What Happens When We Take a Detour Through Hope (Georgia)
33. In Which I Pick Up a Necessary Part
34. Which Treats of What Happens When There Is a Bounty on Our Heads and We Visit Putopia
35. Of What Happens When I Take a Little Trip Through Time and Space. Calabi Yaul
36. Of What Happens When We Pick Up There Hitchhikers and Free the Snow Globes
37. In Which Dulcie Makes an Accidental Confession
38. Wherein We Discover What Assholes These Mortals Be
39. In Which Gonzo and I Make and Unscheduled Visit to the Party House
40. Of What Happens When I Take My Chances on TV
41. In Which Gonzo Makes a Life-or-Gard-Gnome Decision
42. Wherein I Have a Conversation with My Sister and the Fates Throw Me a Bone
43. In Which I Discover Eleven Dimensions All in One Person
44. Of What Happens to Gonzo When We Aren't Looking
45. Which the World's Most Famous Band Plays the Most Important Comeback Concert Ever
46. Of What Happens When Balder Has His Day at the Beach
47. In Which We Are Unprepared for the Unexpected
48. In Which the Coyote and the Roadrunner Go Again
49. Of What Happens When We Hit Fantasyland
50. Wherein I Visit Tomorrowland
51. In Which Coyote and Roadrunner Meet One Last Time
52. Wherein...