Bright Lights, Big Ass (2007) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit

Write a ridiculously simplified synopsis.

Characters/People edit see section history

• Jen: I love Jen's way of writing. She has such a raw and honest approach to no only her own life and experiences but also how those around her react, her own reaction and even Fletch's. Jen is a to the point kind of woman and I love that about her, you never guess where you stand with her!
• Paul: Add a description of this character.
• Tracy
• Holly
• Mrs. Fletcher
• Mr. James
• Vaughn
• Rachael Ray
• Mary-kate
• Jessica Simpson
• Ann Coulter

Quotes edit see section history

• “Note to self for future reference: Tubby girls with smart mouths will be given paper robes, not cloth, by nurses who lack sense of humour.”

  Jen Lancaster

• “I begin to get very angry at the exploding clothing. Exactly when did I turn into the Jen-credible Hulk?”

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• “You know, coming to IKEA is a lot like doing tequila shots.” “Why’s that?” I ask. “Because when someone suggests it, it seems like a fantastic idea—big fun and all—but in the morning you wake up nauseous in the middle of a pile of table legs, with no idea how you got there, and swearing to never do it again.”

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• The state of being annoyed is like a cancer. My aggravation spreads and begins to encompass everything around me.

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• And if your dumb ass accidentally gets killed because you’re down there voluntarily vacationing during hurricane season? That’s not bad luck; it’s social Darwinism.

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• Do you think the Devil will get a kick out of me and perhaps allow me a small fan in Hell?

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• I know I’m fighting a losing battle to stop people from talking on their phones in public. For some reason, most people need that constant stimulation. God forbid anyone be quiet for a minute, because that’s when they begin to hear the voices in their heads. You know, those little voices that make them question their views on society, ethics, organized religion, etc.? And we can’t allow those thoughts, now can we?

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• As a graduate of the School of Snappy Retorts and Clever Rejoinders, I respond by telling him, “Shut up.”

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• girl wearing pearls may not be the best candidate.”7

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• guy who invented Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups felt.2

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• P.S. If I could endure the fraternity party otherwise known as the Clinton administration, you can deal with President Churchy Mc-Jesus.   P.P.S. If Bush were so intent on imposing a stringent Christian lifestyle on everyone, wouldn’t he have started with his kids? As it stands, the twins are but a Jell-O shot away from starring in the presidential edition of Girls Gone Wild.

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• When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?13

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Setting & Locations edit see section history

• Chicago
• Lincoln Park
• America
• Indiana
• Costco
• Westerville
• Head Cold Girl

Table of Contents edit see section history

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Jen Lancaster (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 814.6

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Literature & Fiction › World Literature › United States › History & Criticism › Women
• Books › Literature & Fiction › World Literature › United States › Women Writers
• Books › Entertainment › Humor › Essays
• Books › Biographies & Memoirs › Specific Groups › Women
• Books › Biographies & Memoirs › Memoirs