“Ariel tapped her lightly on the small of her back. "The center of you." "My cream filling?" she suggested.”Ariel, Bertie
“What color is pandemonium? It sounds yellow”Bertie
“No, along the way I learned to dance and sing and tumble - ""When ye were six months old?" Nate interjected"After that" Bertie hedged"Oh, aye, when ye were nine months old."”Nate and Bertie
“"You all had better shut your pieholes until I'm done with this scene, or so help me, I'll never steal you another snack cake as long as you all shall live."There was no backtalk this time, just the sound of crickets chirping”Bertie
“"We need a plan!" said Cobweb"Vive la Revolution!" cried Moth and Mustardseed as they jumped to attention.Bertie held up both her hands. "If either of you starts singing something from Les Mis, I'll drop-kick you into next week."”Cobweb, Mustardseed, Moth, and Bertie
“"You didn't just write the play, Bertie," Peaseblossom said suddenly. "You ordered the Players about, shouted, and through an artistic hissy fit. Do you know what that makes you?""A tempermental fusspot?" Mustardseed guessed."Crazier than a bag full of crazy." Moth said"Close." Peaseblossom said, "It makes her a Director."”Peaseblossom, Mustardseed, and Moth
“"We've more important things to worry about right now than food."Mustardseed said reproachfully, "I'm certain you don't mean that .""She's under duress," Peaseblossom said."I don't care if she's under duress, over it, or alongside it," Moth said. "Nothing in this world supersedes cake.""Pie does," Cobweb corrected. Moth glared at him, "Are you under duress too?"”Bertie, Mustardseed, Peaseblossom, Moth, Cobweb
“And so reigned the tyrant, Beatrice the Terrible.”Ariel
“"Carve out his heart with a sword." Moth suggested."A poison-tipped one," said Mustardseed"A slow poison," intoned Peaseblossom, "that will turn his guts to black oozing liquid while he begs us to put him out of his misery.""Then slice his belly and stir his innards with an iron rod," said Cobweb.Ariel's breath came out in spurts and sputters, "Blood-thirsy little imps, aren't they?"”Moth, Mustardseed, Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Ariel
“"Be careful, Nate!" Moth said. "You don't want to lop off anything vital!"”Moth
“What a diva!” “Stupid, men can’t be divas. . . .” “Divo, then.” “That just sounds weird. Call him a jerk and be done with it.”Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers
“Wheeeee! Balls out!” “I think that’s a rugby reference,” Bertie said. “But don’t quote me on that.”Highlighted by 5 Kindle customers
“Are you insane?” Cobweb demanded as they headed for the Scenic Department. “For requesting asps?” “For burning the toast!”Highlighted by 5 Kindle customers
“I don’t care if she’s under duress, over it, or alongside it,” Moth said. “Nothing in this world supersedes cake.” “Pie does,” Cobweb corrected.Highlighted by 5 Kindle customers
“Walking in this thing is a pain in the—” “Language,” Peaseblossom said to cut her off. “Spleen,” Bertie finished.Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers
“We’ve more important things to worry about right now than food.” Mustardseed said reproachfully, “I’m certain you don’t mean that.”Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers
“You didn’t just write the play, Bertie,” Peaseblossom said suddenly. “You ordered the Players about, shouted, and threw an artistic hissy fit.Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers
Bertie was acutely aware of the taste of his fingers: salt and sardines (as befitted a pirate) and chocolate icing (which didn’t seem as appropriate).Highlighted by 3 Kindle customers
“You look like a girl!” Mustardseed accused. “I am a girl!” PeaseblossomHighlighted by 3 Kindle customers
“You’re a little tall to play Ariel,” said Moth. “And you have way too many muscles,” said Mustardseed. “But you might be able to pull it off,” Cobweb said, “if you can look really constipated.”Highlighted by 3 Kindle customers
Chapter 1. Presenting Beatrice
Chapter 2. All Players to the Stage
Chapter 3. What Will Become of You?
Chapter 4. How Bertie Came to the Theater, a Play in One Act
Chapter 5. Sedition Amongst the Ranks
Chapter 6. Window Dressing
Chapter 7. Straitlaced
Chapter 8. The Manager's Office
Chapter 9. Divas and Drama Queens
Chapter 10. Still Waters
Chapter 11. Chaos Is Come Again
Chapter 12. Legato and Staccato
Chapter 13. Suspicions and Superstitions
Chapter 14. Divide and Conquer
Chapter 15. Ill Met by Moonlight
Chapter 16. Pins and Poking-Sticks of Steel
Chapter 17. Once More Unto the Breach
Chapter 18. Tribunal
Chapter 19. Toil and Trouble
Chapter 20. But a Walking Shadow
Chapter 21. I Could a Tale Unfold
Chapter 22. Sweet and Bitter Fancy
Chapter 23. Revels Now Ended
THE END
Followed by Perchance to Dream.
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