Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side (2009) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit see section history

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Characters edit see section history

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• Jessica Packwood: Born Antanasia Dragomir; a Romanian vampire princess who was adopted by humans when she was an infant to protect her.
• Lucius Vladescu: Romanian vampire prince of the Vladescu clan and Antanasia's long-lost fiance.
• Vasile Vladescu: Lucius's uncle and one of the Elders; he is a very cruel vampire and tries to get his hands on both the clans power.
• Faith Crosse: A popular cheerleader "mean girl" type. Lucius develops a close relationship with her.
• Jake Zinn: Jessica's good-looking neighbor; she likes him.
• Melinda Sue Stankowics: Jessica's best friend, who goes by Mindy.
• Mihaela Dragomir: Jessica's birth mother. She died in a purge.
• Ladislau Dragomir: Jessica's biological father. He died in a purge.
• Valeriu Vladescu: Lucius's father. He died in a purge.
• Ned Packwood: Jessica's adoptive father.
• Reveka Vladescu: Lucius's mother. She died in a purge.
• Dara Packwood: Jessica's adoptive mother. (aka Dr. Packwood) She is a professor at the local college.
• Dorin Dragomir: Jessica's uncle (her mother's brother and also a vampire) and is one of the Elders.
• Ethan Strausser: Faith Crosse's jock boyfriend
• Melinda Sue Stankowicz: Add a description of this character.
• Uncle Dorin
• Belle
• Ferrin
• Lisa Clay
• Mike Danneker
• Leigh Ann
• UNCLE VASILE
• Dr. Packwood
• Dr. Zsoldos
• Mrs. Wilhelm
• Mr. Jaegerman
• Frank Dormand
• Antanasias

Quotes edit see section history

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• “Just remember, girls: The young male vampire is a predator by nature. Some boys may look at you not only as a romantic interest, but as prey . . .”

  Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire's Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions

• “Yoga? Contorting his frame into a series of ridiculous configurations is more important than informing his daughter about the pact? And what manner of man practices such a pacifist pastime? Men should train for war, not waste their time chanting 'om' and blathering about inner peace.”

  Lucius Vladescu

• “I am so not undead.”

  Jessica Packwood

• “Jessica. For god's sake. Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. In spite of what 'women's lib' teaches you, chivalry does not imply that women are powerless.On the contrary, chivalry is an admission of women's superiority. An acknowledgment of your power over us. This is the only form of servitude a Vladescu ever practices, and I perform it gladly for you. You, in turn, are obligated to accept graciously.”

  Lucius Vladescu

• “You talk a lot about obligation and duty and chivalry, but I don't get the sense you really like me that much, either.”

  Jessica Packwood

• “I'm sorry . . . that was cruel to scare you. I should not have done that, that way. Please, forgive me.”

  Lucius Vladescu

• “God, the girl irks me. So resistant. So rational.”

  Lucius Vladescu

• “You're not an athlete; you're a mathlete. . . .”

  Jessica Packwood

• “'Welcome to the world of the mysterious, Jessica.' A shadow crossed her face. 'Please be careful there. It's very, very tricky territory. Completely untamed. The mysterious can be beautiful—and dangerous.'”

  Dara Packwood

• “Sure. Why not? I suppose I got a little cloak-and-dagger with the whole empty park. I'm a fan of the spy novel, you know”

  Dorin Dragomir

• “The good news was, I had a vampire handy in my backyard. The bad news was, I wanted to run a stake through his heart before he had any chance to come near me—not to mention the fact that he didn't seem to give a damn about me anymore. What was a "blossoming" young vampire to do?”

  Jessica Packwood

• “Nice is...overrated”

  Lucius Vladescu

• “I have no idea what that meant, but it was, like, the hottest thing anyone ever said.”

  Melinda Sue Stankowics

• “Einstein once said, 'The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious'. If atoms can exist hidden and yet everywhere, for millennia . . . why not a vampire?”

  Dara Packwood

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• 'Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. In spite of what 'women's lib' teaches you, chivalry does not imply that women are powerless. On the contrary, chivalry is an admission of women's superiority. An acknowledgment of your power over us. This is the only form of servitude a Vladescu ever practices, and I perform it gladly for you. You, in turn, are obligated to accept graciously.'

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• 'Yes, America expanded westward! Is that not logical, given that Europeans settled on the eastern shore? What else were they to do? Advance vainly into the sea?'

  Highlighted by 14 Kindle customers

• 'American women. Why do you all want to be nearly invisible? Why not have a physical presence in the world? Women should have curves, not angles. Not points.'

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• 'One should never confuse fashionable with beautiful,'

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• Relativity. One's perception of time was relative to one's desire for its passage.

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• I like pink.' Lucius sniffed. 'It's just red's sorry, weak cousin.'

  Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers

• If you don't count the fact that he thinks he's a warrior prince representing a semi-cannibalistic race of undead bat people.

  Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers

• It sounded like elevator music for tormented souls on the way to hell.

  Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers

• 'Holy shit.' Lucius closed the door behind us. 'Well, that's a pleasant reaction. Very ladylike.'

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• he simply picked at his salad, examining one of Dad's prized cherry tomatoes like it was a mucus-filled alien life-form that had somehow become stuck on the end of his fork.

  Highlighted by 5 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• Labanon County, Pennsylvania: the city where Jessica lives.
• Woodrow Wilson High School: the school where they go.
• Sighişoara, Romania: the city where Lucius lives.

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Glossary edit see section history

• Cartofi pai: French fries.
• Eliberati-o!: Romanian for 'Release her!'
• Mergeti. Lasati-ne în pace.: Romanian for 'Go. Leave us alone.'
• Buna.: Romanian for 'Hello.'
• Papanasi: a Romanian specialty, cheese dumplings rolled in sugar.
• Da, da...: Romanian for 'Yes, yes..'
• Ea e o fantoma...: Romanian for 'She is a ghost...'
• Nu e!: Romanian for 'She isn't.'
• Ea e Dragomir! Mihaela!: Romanian for 'She is Dragomir! Mihaela!'
• Da, da! Comanda, va rog.: Romanian for 'Yes, yes! Our food, please.'

Series & Lists edit see section history

Followed by Jessica Rules The Dark Side.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Beth Fantaskey (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Awards edit see section history

• Pennsylvania Young Readers' Choice Award (Finalist, 2010-2011: YA)

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: 2007049002
• Dewey: Add the Dewey Classification.

Notes for Parents edit see section history

8th grade+

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Teens › Social Issues › Dating & Intimacy › Fiction
• Books › Teens › Social Issues › Being a Teen
• Books › Teens › Science Fiction & Fantasy › Fantasy
• Books › Teens › Science Fiction & Fantasy › Science Fiction

Links to Supplemental Material edit see section history

• Beth Fantaskey - Jessica's Guide to the Dark Side

More Books Like This edit see section history