National Bestseller From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs's most provocative collection of true stories yet. From nicotine gum addiction to lesbian personal ads to incontinent dogs, Possible Side Effects mines Burroughs's life in... read more
“Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.”
I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.Highlighted by 20 Kindle customers
Because then I would have a reason for feeling the way that I always felt: defective. So if I looked ruined on the outside, at least I would know why I felt ruined.Highlighted by 16 Kindle customers
Eisenhower said, “Every gun that is made, every battleship that is built, every missile that is launched, is a direct theft from the people who are hungry and starving in this world.”Highlighted by 16 Kindle customers
I was in awe of time’s elasticity. Sometimes it compresses. Sometimes it stretches. And yet it always does one when you need the other.Highlighted by 15 Kindle customers
At moments like this, I wish I could somehow open a door and have him step inside my head so that he could know how fully I adore him. After all these years with him, my feelings only become stronger every morning, when I look at him. I watch him pee sometimes and I actually sigh with joy because I won him, somehow.Highlighted by 15 Kindle customers
Now maybe I’m just ultrajudgmental, but I really feel that only two groups of people have any business collecting dolls: little girls and grown women who lost all their children in fiery car accidents.Highlighted by 14 Kindle customers
Elizabeth Berg had coming out. I would buy every Joyce Carol Oates, because it’s time to read her. Or maybe only every fifth book of hers. I would buy multiple copies of Kathryn Harrison’s The Kiss in paperback and give them as gifts.Highlighted by 14 Kindle customers
When you insult the Midwest—land of corndogs, casseroles, and all my favorite packaged food products—you insult me.Highlighted by 13 Kindle customers
It makes me sad. Because that’s not evolution. It’s devolution. It’s going backward and paying more for the luxury of reverse.Highlighted by 12 Kindle customers
Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don’t like smoking, don’t even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers
1. Pest Control
2. Bloody Sunday
3. The Sacred Cow
4. Team Player
5. Killing John Updike
6. Attacked by Heart
7. The Wisdom Tooth
8. GWF Seeks SAME
9. Mint Threshold
10. Locked Out
11. Getting to No You
12. Kitty, Kitty
13. Peep
14. Taking Tests, Taking Things
15. Unclear Sailing
16. Moving Violations
17. You've Come a Long Way, Baby!
18. The Forecast for Sommer
19. Try Our New Single Black Mother Menu
20. The Georgia Thumper
21. Little Crucifixions
22. What's in a Name?
23. The Wonder Boy
24. Fetch
25. Mrs. Chang
26. Julia's Child
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