Have You Found Her: A Memoir
 

Have You Found Her: A Memoir

by Janice Erlbaum

And every week, there was the unspoken question, the one I didn’t know enough to ask myself : Have you found her yet? The one who reminds you of you?

Twenty years after she lived at a homeless shelter for teens, Janice Erlbaum went back to volunteer. Now thirty-four years old and a successful writer, she’d changed her life for the better; now she wanted to help someone... (read more)

Top tags: memoirbiographynonfictionwl2008 (all tags)

 

Member Reviews

  • mmz
    1 of 1 members found this review helpful.
    • Rated 5 stars

    What an amazing, amazing book. I had to keep reminding myself that it was about real people!

    In this, her second memoir, Janice tells the story of volunteering at the shelter she lived in briefly as a teenage and of meeting Sam. Although the relationship she forms with Sam may ultimately have been good for her, showing her that she had internal strength she would never have guessed out. It makes for a very powerful story.

    I think the most interesting part of this book was Janice's honesty about her negative feelings toward Sam. To be able to say that you're angry at a person in Sam's position takes a lot of strength. The same to admit that you have doubts about the truth of what someone you care about says to you.

    And this is a memoir that is easy to read. One might always be skeptical of the claim that a memoir reads like a novel, but in this case, I found that it did. I was drawn in from the very beginning, and ended the book hoping that Ms. Erlbaum will write another memoir in the future.

    mmz wrote this review Monday, March 3 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Cutie Calamity
    • Rated 4 stars

    This Book was amazing. I really love Janice Erlbaum's writing style. I really get into the story, and I can relate to her, because I think she may just be as cynical and goofy as I am. I have so been in her shoes. This book proves the age old "never trust a junkie". And although you know it, you still have the urge to help these lost puppy dogs, although half the time you end up enabling them. Janice'[s experience made me look back and reassess my own bad judgment in the past, and see it with a kinder light.
    Actually, all of ms. Erlbaum's books do this for me. She really knows her shite, and her flowing narrative is really makes that bitter pill of reality alot easier to swallow.
    I don't care what it's about, if this woman writes any more books, sign me up immediately!

    Cutie Calamity wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • stephaniemerhar
    • Rated 5 stars

    This was a pretty great book. I found myself with my mouth open in amazement about halfway through...I will say no more.

    stephaniemerhar wrote this review Friday, September 5 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Bandanamom A
    • Rated 4 stars

    The second book by Janice Erlbaum I found the story very interesting. Janice has a nice writing style and her sense of voice is very good - though a memoir it reads much more like good prose should than the usual memoir. I did feel that I knew far too soon where the story was going - sooner than I wanted to - but in a way it added to the drama of wondering when Janice was going to discover what the reader has already figured out - a neat trick when it's her story to begin with.

    Bandanamom A wrote this review Monday, June 9 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • canarygyrl
    • Rated 3 stars

    Extremely well written. Draws you right in. Highly disturbing and sad that this is a true story.

    canarygyrl wrote this review Tuesday, May 20 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Lisa S
    • Rated 1 stars

    This book is not well written,but that's not my primary complaint about it. The author comes across as overly privleged ,spoiled,immature,self serving, and selfish,and she proudly admits that she ia an active addict,even as she sets out to be a role model for troubled,homeless teenagers. She was warned(actually prohibited) early on to avoid becoming overly involved in any of the girls lives or choosing favorites when she became a volunteer at a homeless shelter where she once spent 2 months (big deal) as a resident. She ignores this advice and becomes deeply involved in Sam's life. The author sees herself as some kind of savior,and becomes incensed when she realizes the young woman she has set out to save has been lying about some aspects of her past, at which point the author confronts the young woman, and sets out to find the truth about her past,effectively ailienating Sam. Of course our beloved author feels perfectly justified in her feelings of anger and betrayal,and proceeds to write a book to purge the awful experience of being such an incredibly selfless and giving person,and then getting burned. What did she expect? What is the point of this book? What is the message ? From the beginning, the author's obsession with this troubled young girl is unhealthy and suspect,and the author probably did the young girl more harm than good through befriending her, if only because she was such a mess herself,and clearly needed to be in therapy instead of haplessly trying to be an inspiration and role model for those as leastas troubled as herself. Rarely has a book infuriated me as much as this one,if only because I don't believe anyone deserves to profit from someone else's troubles. And surely Erlbaum will profit from this lurid account of another person's private pain,wherein she has cast herself as the long suffering betrayed savior, and hero.UGH! Don't waste yor time.

    Lisa S wrote this review Monday, March 10 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • J. Erlbaum
    • Rated 5 stars

    Okay, well, I HAVE to give it five stars, seeing as I wrote it.

    J. Erlbaum wrote this review Saturday, February 23 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Tara O
    • Rated 4 stars

    A moving memoir about one woman's attempt to give back to the homeless shelter that took her in as a troubled teen by returning twenty years to volunteer and wound up mentoring another tormented young woman who was even more troubled than she imagined. This book kept me up at night,turning the pages and devouring each word like a pack of Pringles chips.

    Tara O wrote this review Monday, February 11 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Claire
    • Rated 5 stars

    Have You Found Her - Janice Erlbaum


    **Warning - story spoiler in this review
    Gripping, unputdownable; Janice really builds the tension in the book.... She manages to have the reader feel as entranced by Sam as she was in the beginning. As the book progresses and Janice becomes more and more embroiled in this girl's life, I started to think enough, you've done enough, back away. The sense of impending doom grows throughout the 2nd half of the book, and I was shocked at Janice's realization about Sam and the self inflicted medical issues she was having. Her descriptions of Sam, the supreme manipulator are excellent.
    I dreaded the wedding, or anytime that Janice had something personal scheduled... that Sam would interfere and Janice would put her first. I was stunned at the reaction of Sam's family in Denver, but having said that, they KNEW what she was like..... Janice was still finding out.

    I would recommend this book to people that enjoyed A Million Little Pieces, or Ann Patchett's Truth and Beauty, or Alice Sebold's book Lucky.

    I am also a part-time bookseller and hand sell titles when the store is out of the particular book someone is looking for, this book will be added to my list.

    Claire wrote this review Monday, February 11 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • ingodzhndz
    • Rated 4 stars

    I started this book later in the evening thinking I would get a chapter or two into it, then pick it up the next day. What actually happened was that I found myself completely riveted by the tale and read late into the night in order to finish it.



    This is the true story of something that happened to Janice Erlbaum. She spent some time in a homeless shelter for teens when she was young. Now that she is grown and has a decent life, she is determined to “give back” to that same shelter by becoming a volunteer. Things don’t turn out exactly as Janice had dreamed. She breaks the cardinal rule of the shelter, which is to not play favorites and to not get personally involved with the residents. She befriends a brilliant young nineteen-year-old girl named Sam who has been homeless since age twelve, a drug user, and comes from a horrendous background. As Janice gets more and more entwined in Sam’s life, she feels a closeness and affinity for the girl, even moving toward becoming her legal guardian. Then Janice makes an incredible discovery that changes everything.



    The story is written so that it moves along at a quick pace and provides a great deal of detail without becoming cumbersome. You almost magnetically get drawn into the story and when the entire truth is laid out, it is stunning.

    ingodzhndz wrote this review Tuesday, January 8 2008. ( reply | permalink )
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