“The British will not spend all day gawping at each other in the drizzle, however odd we may look. The entire cast of "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" could roll into Starbucks, with candy-colored cockatiels flying out of their hair, and -after a brief glance upwards- everyone would studiously go back to reading their papers, as if the door had merely been blown open by the wind. In a cramped, crowded nation, we know the essence of politeness is ignoring pretty much everyone around us.”
Introduction - or: I Try To Be Good
Call Me Puffin
Caffeine - Lifeblood of the Twenty-first Century
Celebrity Watch Special: Michael Jackson's Memorial
I Am Caitlin Moran, and I Was a Skunk Addict
I Am Late to Interview the Prime Minister
What I Learned up a Mountain This Summer
I Am a Dwarf Called "Scottbaio"
I Do a Lot for Charity, but I Would Never Mention It
Ghostbusters Is the Greatest Film of All Time. Please Do Not Argue with Me.
Keith - Noddy Holder Says You Wear a Wig
Sherlock Review 1: Like a Jaguar in a Cello
Sherlock Review 2: The Frumious Cumberbatch
Hello. You Look Wonderful.
First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
The Gay Moon Landings
We Only Had Two Transsexuals in Wolverhampton
Come Party With Gaga
Burqas: Are the Men Doing It?
This Cape Makes Me Look Like Wizbit
We Need Quotas, Ladies. Or We Will Be Lonely Pelicans.
I Would Like Some Chivalry, Please, Dude
Don't Feed the Troll
On the Set of Doctor Who
This is Not a Gift
All the Ways I've Ruined Your Life
I Refuse to Make You Goody Bags. Leave Before I Summon a Policeman.
I Hate Charlie and Lola
The Horror of Daddy's Special Lemonade
In Defense of Binge Drinking
Aberystwyth: The Only Place I Stop Wanting
Libraries: Cathedrals of Our Souls
Unlike Most of the Coalition, I Was Raised on Benefits
I Know What It's Like to be Poor. They Took Away the TV, and We Cried.
I Love a Protestor. You Don't Need Answers - Just Questions.
Downton Abbey Review 1: Lady Mary's Haunted Vagina
Downton Abbey Review 2: "SEX WILL BE HAD! SEX WILL BE HAD!"
Summer Is an Emergency
Time Travel in the Same Four Places
My French Dress
Sherlock Review 3: As Good as Television Gets
I Wish to Copyright My Hair
Chicks with Big Hair Are My Chicks
The Best Royal Wedding Ever
My Day with Paul McCartney. From the Beatles.
Celebrity Weight-Loss: The Truth
Elizabeth Taylor: Heavy, Like Wet Roses
Winehouse - Jump on Your Voice, Like a Lion, and Run Away
My Tragically Early Death
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