Happily Never After (2011) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit

Write a ridiculously simplified synopsis.

Characters edit see section history

• Isabella Spaga: Restaurant owner, engaged to local mobster.
• Chance: Master vampire, sired by Bones. Master of his own line
• Robert "Robbery" Bertini: Local mobster. Engaged to isabella
• Bones: Master Vampire. Master if his own line. Chance's sire
• Greta Spaga: Isabella's grandmother. Part of bones' line

Quotes edit see section history

• “Can I help you?" "Actually, darling, I'm here to help you." "The only way I'd need your help is if you were a restaurant critic or a health inspector.”

  Isabella Spaga, Chance

• “Whatever you want, we're out of it." "Doesn't matter. I'm only here for you, darling." "Get out, and by the way-calling a woman 'darling' when you don't even know her is sexist and demeaning. Got that, sugar lips?”

  Isa, Chance

• “You can't be here. We-" "Shot me? Put me in a trunk, drove me to an old warehouse, wrapped me in plastic, and buried me around the back? How preposterous. If that's what you did, then I wouldn't be sitting here, would I?”

  Ritchie, Chance

• “You're one sadistic chick." "Never underestimate the power of a woman. Or Vagisil.”

  chef Frank, Isa

• “I know you're awake. Come on out, your breakfast is getting cold." "Nothing comes before the bladder.”

  Chance, Isa

• “You're a regular repeat offender with the breaking and entering, aren't you?" "You skipped dinner last night." "Aren't you supposed to be spying on Robert, not me? Or better yet, breaking into his home, not mine?”

  Isa, Chance

• “He's clean." "Can't say the same about you. Really, man, soap is nothing to fear.”

  Ritchie, Chance

• “Youth is truly wasted on the young. Come now, dear. Don't be stupid.”

  Grandmother Greta

• “Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a vampire, darling." "What are your sins, my child?" "Too many to list, Bones, and so are yours. If you don't mind, I'd like to add to them.”

  Chance, Bones

• “You let a hundred and twenty-six year-old woman drive my Camaro?" "You're older than she is, who are you to throw stones?" "How old are you?" "One hundred and forty-three. But don't worry, darling. I don't feel a day over the century mark.”

  Chance, Bones, Isa

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• Women would forgive many things, but lies were at the top of their list for unpardonable sins.

  Highlighted by 28 Kindle customers

• That prolonged mourning only stole the good memories of the person who was gone.

  Highlighted by 26 Kindle customers

• Power was supposed to be used for the protection of those you cared about, not for selfishness.

  Highlighted by 22 Kindle customers

• Following your heart is always the right choice, no matter the circumstances.”

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• “I’m going to call every man I’ve ever had sex with…and demand an apology.”

  Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers

• The one of connection, like she was someone who should be part of his life. Some people called it chemistry, others called it infatuation, some even called it fate. Chance didn’t care what name was stuck on it. He only knew it was real.

  Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers

• “Do you know what I’m going to do, first thing tomorrow?”

  Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers

• You’re just fighting your emotions—something I learned long ago will always win in the end.

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• That was it. She was getting a vibrator. Clearly she was in need of sexual healing, and right now a battery-operated device had the least amount of complications.

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• “This has nothing to do with feminism. I’m all for gender equality, but the fact remains that women are targeted for more specific crimes than men, and the perpetrators of those crimes often look for circumstances such as these to attack.”

  Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• Philadelphia

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Series & Lists edit see section history

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Jeaniene Frost (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 813

Notes for Parents edit see section history

Add a note to help parents select a book for a child.

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Literature & Fiction
• Books › Romance