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Description edit
Emma Shaw needs a husband, and fast! Not because she's interested in romance--after all, she's too busy with her landscaping company--but because Grandma Shaw is coming to town, and she will have nonstop questions about Emma's (stagnant) love life.
Sean Kowalski no sooner leaves the army... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Characters edit
- Sean Michael Kowalski: just out of the army, hired by Emma to do landscaping and be her 'fake' fiance
- Emma Shaw: Landscaper
- Catherine Shaw: "Cat"; Emma's grandmother
- Mary Kowalski: Sean's aunt
- Leo Kowalski: Sean's uncle
- Kevin Kowalski: Sean's cousin; Bar owner
- Beth Kowalski: Kevin's wife
- Lily Kowalski: Kevin and Beth's 1-year-old daughter
- Joe Kowalski: Sean's cousin; Thriller author
- Keri Kowalski: Joe's wife
- Brianna Kowalski: Joe and Keri's 4 1/2 month-old daughter
- Mike Kowalski: Sean's cousin
- Lisa Kowalski: Mike's wife; Emma's best friend
- Joey Kowalski: Mike and Lisa's 15-year-old son
- Danny Kowalski: Mike and Lisa's 12-year-old son
- Brian Kowalski: Mike and Lisa's 9-year-old son
- Bobby Kowalski: Mike and Lisa's 7-year-old son
- Theresa (Terry) Kowalski Porter: Sean's cousin, married to Evan and mother of Stephanie
- Evan Porter: Terry's husband and Stephanie's father
- Stephanie Porter: Terry and Evan's 13-year-old daughter
- Mitch Kowalski: Sean's older brother; Controlled-demolition expert
- Ryan Kowalski: Sean's brother
- Josh Kowalski: Sean's brother
- Liz Kowalski: Sean's sister
- Russell Walker: Cat's beau
- Paulie Reed: Head bartender/Assistant manager at Jasper's
- Mrs. Johnson: Add a description of this character.
- Rosie
- Roger
- Flo Walker
- John Shaw
- Martha
- Uncle Leo
- Dani
Quotes edit
-
“I'm Emma Shaw...your fake fiancee." "Say what? Lady, I've never had a fiancee, fake or otherwise. And it's been a while since I've gone on a decent bender, so if I'd asked you to marry me, I'm pretty sure I'd at least remember your face”
Emma Shaw, Sean Kowalski -
“Let me get this straight. You told your grandmother that a guy you've never met is your boyfriend?" "I just wanted her to worry less." "Maybe she's right to worry about you." "I'm not crazy, you know." "You made up an imaginary boyfriend." "You're not imaginary. Just uninformed.”
Sean, Emma -
“Ran into a friend of yours today." "Oh year?" "Tall. Hot. Batshit crazy?”
Sean, Lisa Kowalski -
“I already told you I'm not crazy." "Crazy people don't always know they're crazy.”
Emma, Sean -
“You actually come with an owner's manual?”
Sean -
“You can't cook? I'd never marry a woman who can't cook." "I'd never marry the kind of man who'd never marry a woman who can't cook, so it's a good thing we're just pretending.”
Sean, Emma -
“Don't you think having Emma in the business name's a bad idea, though?" "What? Girls can't be landscapers? You've heard we're allowed to vote now, right?”
Sean, Emma -
“I'm sorry. Here you are doing me a huge favor and I'm being all...intense." "Bitchy," he muttered, not quite under his breath. "I prefer intense." "Intensely bitchy.”
Emma, Sean -
“What the hell is this? It looks like a cheese grater for your feet." "Women like having smooth heels." "Do you have one of these?" "Hell, no. It looks like a cheese grater.”
Sean, Emma -
“So this hot chick's going to pay you to be her man for a month. Is that legal in New Hampshire now?" "She's paying me to do landscaping. The fiance thing is..whatever. She'll be sleeping on he couch in the bedroom. I'll be in the bed. It's strictly hands-off." "My money's on a week. She's hot and single. You're a guy. Sleeping in the same room? You're as good as half in the sack already.”
Mitch Kowalski, Sean -
“I'm driving." "Excuse me?" "You drive like a girl." "You're an ass." "We can stand here and argue about it. I'm sure your grandmother will understand." "A sexist ass, no less." "Next time, you might want to actually meet the man you're going to marry before you tell your family about him. Get in the truck. Honey”
Sean, Emma -
“Hi, Sean, I was just thinking, gee, I need more Kowalskis in my life right now.”
Keri Kowalski -
“Joe writing?" "No. Joe is pretending to write so I won't dump Brianna in his lap, but he's probably playing some stupid game."****"She knows you're only pretending to write so you don't have to deal with the kid." "You know what really sucks? Everybody keeps saying to just wait 'till she's older. Like it gets worse. How can it get worse? For years I've been writing about boogeymen and the evil that lurks in the hearts of men. I had no idea there's nothing scarier than a baby girl." Sean laughed. "She can't be that bad. What does she weigh? Ten pounds?" "Fifteen. but it's fifteen pounds of fool temper and fouler smells.”
Sean, Keri, Joe Kowalski -
“Oh yes, Sean Kowalski. Your amazing kisses have made all rational thought fly out of my besotted brain. If only you could fill me with your magic penis, I know we'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after.”
Emma -
“So why are my granddaughter and your nephew pretending to be engaged?”
Catherine Shaw (gram) -
“You play football even worse than you drive." "Clearly it's my lack of-" "Don't you dare say it." "Don't say what?" "If you mention the magic penis in front of these guys, I'll never hear the end of it. Never. Hell, fifty years from now when our dicks are shriveled up and useless, they'll still be cracking magic penis jokes." "What's it worth to you?”
Sean, Emma -
“Hey. You put condoms in my nightstand?" "I'm an optimist.”
Emma, Sean -
“Get over. You're on my side of the bed." "It's my bed, you don't have a side." "Get over.”
Sean, Emma -
“According to the official guy's handbook, if I keep doing it wrong, you're supposed to let me watch SportsCenter while you do it yourself." "Did the Official guy's handbook also tell you that if that happens, you'll also be free to watch the late-night sports shows while I do other things myself?”
Sean, Emma -
“Leave it to my granddaughter to accidentally choose her Mr. Right to be her fake fiance.”
Gram -
“I hate to run, but I promised I'd watch Brianna this afternoon. Joe has a writing deadline and Keri has an editing deadline and the baby doesn't really care about either one.”
Mary Kowalski -
“Maybe you should get a fake dog”
Gram -
“If, a year from now, you were stuck on the tracks and a train was coming, what would you regret? Not taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon? Or not spending that year with Emma?" "Trust me, Emma is the train." "That's love, honey.”
Mary, Sean -
“And, because I love you, I'll start by stripping you out of that pink shirt.”
Emma
Setting & Locations edit
First Sentence edit
"Still as ugly as ever, I see."
Table of Contents edit
Chapters 1 - 21
Series & Lists edit
This is book 3 of 7 in Kowalski Family. (standard series)
Preceded by Undeniably Yours, and followed by All He Ever Needed.
Authors & Contributors edit
- Shannon Stacey (Author)
First Edition edit
Original Language: English
Publisher: Carina Press
Country: USA
Publication Date: June 6, 2011
ISBN: 978-1426893537
Page Count: 203
Publisher: Carina Press
Country: USA
Publication Date: June 6, 2011
ISBN: 978-1426893537
Page Count: 203
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
- Dewey: 813
Subjects edit
Links to Supplemental Material edit
- Shannon Stacey: Author's website
More Books Like This edit
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