Mild-mannered librarian tells all in shocking new book! Not long ago, the public library was a place for the bookish, the eggheaded, and the studious—often seeking refuge from a loud, irrational, crude, outside world. Today, libraries have become free-for-all entertainment complexes... read more
“A mecca for scholars and students of all ages, the library is the dullest place in the world - 91 percent of the time. It also attracts the homeless, the mentally ill, occasional pedophiles, Internet junkies, unattended children down to the age of two, con artists, thieves, beggars, cultist homeschoolers, and people who are in general angry with every level of state and federal government. Most of these people decide to fill out an application and get a library card.”
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter One: A Civil Servant is Born
Chapter Two: A First Taste of the Library
Chapter Three: My First Year
Chapter Four: How it Used to be
Chapter Five: The Reference Desk
Chapter Six: Illegal Activity
Chapter Seven: The Civil Servant's Cycle of Life
Chapter Eight: A Library Page
Chapter Nine: The Parent Conference
Chapter Ten: The Graduates
Chapter Eleven: Overdue Fines and Fees
Chapter Twelve: Wild Animals in the Library
Chapter Thirteen: The Friends of the Library
Chapter Fourteen: Volunteers
Chapter Fifteen: Volunteers
Chapter Sixteen: Card Registrations
Chapter Seventeen: Cinco de Mayo
Chapter Eighteen: MMM
Chapter Nineteen: The Hair on the Back of Your Neck
Chapter Twenty: The Last Day of School
Chapter Twenty-one: The Summer Crew
Chapter Twenty-two: Love Stories
Chapter Twenty-three: Vacation Time
Chapter Twenty-four: Flying Saucers and Lemon Squares
Chapter Twenty-five: Senior Librarians
Chapter Twenty-six: Special Events
Afterword
Bibliography
Selected Reading
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