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Not Without My Daughter
 

Not Without My Daughter

by Betty Mahmoody

In August 1984, Michigan housewife Betty Mahmoody accompanied her husband to his native Iran for a two-week vacation. To her horror, she found herself and her four-year-old daughter, Mahtob, virtual prisoners of a man rededicated to his Shiite Moslem faith, in a land where women are near-slaves and Americans are despised. Their only hope for escape lay in a dangerous underground that would... (read more)

Top tags: non-fiction,  iran,  memoir,  autobiography,  nonfiction (all tags)

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  • Jannah M

    jannah m said:

    “Oh and one more thing... Have any of you all watched the documentary by the father? It is called "Without My Daughter" By Dr Sayyeed Mahmoody. It is worth watching. We may never know who is telling the whole truth here, but we can take the story from both sides and come up with our own conclusion. This is the best way to do this.

    For anyone who is interested follow this url and watch the movie in youtube. It is in 6 parts. But here is the link to the first part. You will find the others there.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W2SUn1ZNU0
    ”

    posted 2 weeks ago
  • Jannah M

    jannah m said:

    “Assalamu alaikom to all my bro's & sis's in islam. Greetings to everyone. Rena your right about the Quran telling a husband to beat his wife, IF after he takes the measures of advising her and then forsaking the bedroom if she still refuses to obey. But beating is a last resort. If the woman obeys after advising her then he is commanded not to take further action. In the Hadith the Prophet (saw) further explained this. You are to never hit in the face or even hit hard enough to cause a bruise or any kind of mark.

    Kindda like you see women gently smacking the pamper of a baby who is about to stick his finger in the light socket. Normally you don't smack the pamper first. You tell him NO and take him away from the light socket, if he goes back you advise him again but you put up a barrier so that he can't get to it. If he breaks the barrier or finds another light socket to play with, you then smack his pamper. It didn't hurt him, but it let him know that you MEANT what you said when you told him no and who was the head of him.

    It is the same with the woman. If after the first two, advising and then admonishing the bed doesn't work you go with the latter but not to physically hurt her. Just to show her you mean NO. It is just a way of advising her, warning her and showing her that you are head of the household and that you are looking out for her best interest.

    A woman is beaten every 9 seconds in the USA. Many of you would like to think that the arab muslim men are filthy dogs and women beaters.. This is far from the truth. I live in the middle east but was raised in the USA. I find that the men here are more caring and kind to their wives.

    In many hadith it was reported that the prophet (saw) was quoted saying things like,

    - He is the most perfect Muslim whose disposition is best; and the best of you are they who behave best to their wives.

    -A Muslim must not hate his wife; and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with another that is good.

    - I (Muaviyah b. Haidah) said, "O Apostle of God! What is my duty to my wife?" He said, "That you give her to eat as you eat yourself, and clothe her as you clothe yourself; and do not slap her in the face nor abuse her, nor separate yourself from her in displeasure.

    We are not this barbarian, ruthless, crazy religion or people that you have been misled to believe. Don't just point out one thing without taking everything that is said about the subject, especially the parts that explain everything. ”

    posted 2 weeks ago
  • divya j

    divya j said:

    “one of the best autobiographies i have ever read!!”

    posted Sunday, June 1 2008
  • morrighan m

    morrighan m said:

    “I've read the book. I've also read other books on the subject. While it is true that in many parts of the world in one way or another, women have been mistreated, you have to agree that this was way back in history. While this story is not at all that old and it does still happen today.

    I do not believe that the reason this man mistreated his wife was because he was unstable. He did so, because in his country this was tolerated if not condoned. His entire family did nothing to help her. She had to go underground to get away. If he had been unstable, his family would've intervened and this atrocity never would have happened.

    The atrocities against women are on the news constantly; the stoning, even deaths, whilst the family of these men condone it because it's their law. These atrocities are even committed by the women's male family members for supposedly "disgracing" the family.

    Sara i- I think covers the sun with one finger and decides the sun is that small. And to say that a woman with noble thoughts and behaviour gets treated like a queen? Well- isn't this just like saying, that Betty got what she deserved????”

    posted Monday, May 5 2008
  • Rhea C

    rhea c said:

    “It's only a book cover, people!!! It's not the first time a cover didn't exactly match or convey the subject matter, inside. ;)

    Regarding Islam and women being treaded as slaves and abused by men.... All faiths and countries/nations around the world, at one point or another, have mistreated women - in the name of religion, patriarchy or some sort of sense of superiority.

    This book tells the story of Betty, an American women, who marries an Iranian man, while he is in the US. It's not a story about ALL women in Iran.”

    posted Sunday, April 20 2008
  • Rena M

    rena m said:

    “The original picture on the book had Sally Field as Betty. This was chosen because it was about her experience they were not focused on a photo consistent with the type of garments women wore in that area. But of course there are several different types”

    posted Sunday, April 20 2008 ( | view 1 reply )
  • Reza F

    reza f said:

    “i truly agree with what sara say :)”

    posted Sunday, April 20 2008
  • sara i

    sara i "laa-ilaaha-illallah" said:

    “instead, I do not understand why this picture was chosen as a cover for this book, it doesn’t show at the first sight that the events took place in Iran, it mislead the reader, this is not the still of Iranian women's Hijab, the Iranian women wear a heavy black “tchadour” which cover all their body, but they don't cover their faces as in this picture!”

    posted Saturday, April 19 2008
  • sara i

    sara i "laa-ilaaha-illallah" said:

    “Its depend the woman,
    The woman that have on here head but the thoughts of a slave it oblige here husband to treat her as a slave, the woman who is noble on here behaviours and thoughts oblige here man to treat here as a queen.

    This is when she meets a weak person mentally unstable

    But a man with a strong personality and who is Mentally stable deal with all women with the same noble manners, and if he see it doesn’t deserve he do not keep her as a wife, our beloved prophet Mohammad, salla allaho alayhi wa sallam, has never beat a woman,

    I don’t agree Iran is a place were women are treated like slaves, at the contrast, the Iranian woman always inspired men with her beauty, education and wisdom, that prove it is well treated on her family, and it was an Iranian woman, that inspired Ibn Arabi, the great Muslim Sufi, after he meet her on some period of his life and loved her wisdom, to say his poems about women in general and to consider them very high spirits, and we should not forget the woman that helped Khomeini in his Islamic revolution and was behind him and his success and also should not forget he used women too much in his revolution so how to say they are treated as slaves when they are given very serious responsibilities by the head of the revolution himself”

    posted Saturday, April 19 2008
  • Rena M

    rena m said:

    “Yes I do agree Nida,

    Abuse happens everywhere. Because a man beats his wife does not say he is Muslim. My point is that it is said in the Koran and the haddiths to do so. I researched it. I am not attacking anyone just saying what is. I am interested in what you have to say after speaking with Cati. ( Her Islamic name is Zennah)

    Yes also in diverse groups like this there are many views and faiths. I am very black and white and unafraid to call a spade a spade. But it is my intent to show respect to all.”

    posted Saturday, April 19 2008
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