A Marriage Book with a Difference! A Revolutionary Message "I've been married 35 years and have not heard this taught." "This is the key that I have been missing." "A lightbulb moment." "You connected all the dots for me." "As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any... read more
“But your first goal is to obey and please the Lord”
This is not about the husband deserving respect; it is about the wife being willing to treat her husband respectfully without conditions.Highlighted by 31 Kindle customers
“A husband is to obey the command to love even if his wife does not obey this command to respect, and a wife is to obey the command to respect even if the husband does not obey the command to love.”Highlighted by 24 Kindle customers
Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love—ad nauseam.Highlighted by 21 Kindle customers
Craziness happens when we keep doing the same things over and over with the same ill effect.Highlighted by 21 Kindle customers
Whenever a wife is complaining, criticizing, or crying, she is sending her encoded message: “I want your love!” And whenever a husband is speaking harshly or sometimes not speaking at all, he is sending his encoded message: “I want your respect.”Highlighted by 19 Kindle customers
She may have been accurate in her assessment of how I was acting around people, but her delivery was overkill.Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers
No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being. The key to creating fond feelings of love in a husband toward his wife is through showing him unconditional respect.Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers
When he honors her as first in importance and she respects him as first among equals, their marriage works.Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers
Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).Highlighted by 16 Kindle customers
She wanted me to appreciate her concern and understand that she was only doing it out of love, but the bottom line was I felt disrespected, attacked, and defensive.Highlighted by 16 Kindle customers
Introduction: Love Alone Is Not Enough
Part One: The Crazy Cycle
1 The Simple Secret to a Better Marriage
2 To Communicate, Decipher the Code
3 Why She Won't Respect; Why He Won't Love
4 What Men Fear Most Can Keep the Crazy Cycle Spinning
5 She Fears Being a Doormat; He's Tired of "Just Not Getting It"
6 She Worries about Being a Hypocrite; He Complains, "I Get No Respect"
7 She Thinks She Can't Forgive Him; He Says, "Nobody Can Love That Woman"
Part Two: The Energizing Cycle
8 C-O-U-P-L-E: How to Spell Love to Your Wife
9 Closeness-She Wants You to Be Close
10 Openness-She Wants You to Open Up to Her
11 Understanding-Don't Try to "Fix" Her; Just Listen
12 Peacemaking-She Wants You to Say, "I'm Sorry"
13 Loyalty-She Needs to Know You're Committed
14 Esteem-She Wants You to Honor and Cherish Her
15 C-H-A-I-R-S: How to Spell Respect to Your Husband
16 Conquest-Appreciate His Desire to Work and Achieve
17 Hierarchy-Appreciate His Desire to Protect and Provide
18 Authority-Appreciate His Desire to Serve and to Lead
19 Insight-Appreciate His Desire to Analyze and Counsel
20 Relationship-Appreciate His Desire for Shoulder-to-Shoulder Friendship
21 Sexuality-Appreciate His Desire for Sexual Intimacy
22 The Energizing Cycle Will Work If You Do
Part Three: The Rewarded Cycle
23 The Real Reason to Love and Respect
24 The Truth Can Make You Free, Indeed
Conclusion: Pink and Blue Can Make God's Purple
Appendix A: A Lexicon of Love and Respect: Reminders of What to Say, Do, or Think to Practice Love and Respect in Your Marriage
Appendix B: Personal Love and Respect Inventory for Husbands and Wives
Appendix C: How to Ask Your Mate to Meet Your Needs
Appendix D: What about Exceptions to the Love and Respect Pattern?
Appendix E: What If Your Husband Is a Workaholic?