Bar owner Kevin Kowalski is used to women throwing their phone numbers at him. Even if lately he's been more interested in finding Mrs. Right than Miss Right Now. Enter Beth Hansen.
Kevin and Beth may have started out all wrong, with an impromptu passionate encounter at a wedding,... read more
“Did you have any children together?" "No. That Jasper-burger-craving bun in your oven is my first.”Beth Hansen, Kevin Kowalski
“Don't even try to get out of the Christmas Eve party. Even I have to go and I don't have a Kowalski tadpole swimming in my pond.”Paulie Reed
“Will you miss me?" he asked, probably hoping to distract her from another French fry grab. "Hey! You're stealing food from you baby. You realize that, right?" "Honey, that baby's not starving. At the rate you're going through Jasper burgers, his-or her- first word will probably be 'moo'.”Kevin, Beth
“When are you and Keri gonna add to the family tree?" "Working on it. A lot. As often as I can talk her into trying." "Only took me once, big brother." "Bragging about the fact you can't even use a rubber the right way? Sounds like you.”Mike Kowalski, Joe Kowalski, Kevin
“I think you should wait. You got Beth pregnant on your first date. That's not even enough time to know if you like her, never mind the 'til death do you part hook-up." "Wait for what, though?" "Wait until the baby's a screaming, shitting ball of constant hunger and Beth hasn't had a decent night's sleep in months and she hasn't had time for a shower in three days and no matter what you say, she takes your head clean off your shoulders. Then, if you still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and there's nowhere else you'd rather be, then maybe it's the real deal.”Mike, Kevin
“Why do you have to be such a nice guy?" "You've met my mother. Too scared not to be.”Beth, Kevin
“"You don't need to diet. You're perfect. Plus, bathing suit season's over. Why do you think women live in New England and put up with snow and the wind chill? Because sweaters and winter coats hide all sins, that's why. And we're supposed to gain weight in the winter. It's insulation.”Mary Kowalski
“Kevin was ruined. No way in hell was he going to have a normal relationship with a woman’s vagina ever again. Shit. He was even using the word vagina. He was totally, irretrievably ruined as a man. Even if his balls should ever relax and leave the shelter of his body, he was pretty sure they’d beat a fast retreat next time he encountered a…vagina. He needed to scrub that word—and the instructor’s chipper voice—out of his mind. Or drown it out with a beer. Or tequila shots. Hell, he’d take the whole bottle.”Kevin after a childbirth class
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