Hammered (2011) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit

Write a ridiculously simplified synopsis.

Characters edit see section history

• Atticus O’Sullivan: last of the Druids, now living in Tempe, Arizona
• Leif Helgarson: Atticus' lawyer; a vampire
• Gunnar Magnusson: The alpha of the Tempe pack
• Granuaile MacTiernan: Apprentice to Atticus O'Sullivan
• Vainamoinen: Finnish God of Thunder
• Oberon: Atticus' Faithful companion; an Irish Wolfhound
• Hallbjorn Hauk: Atticus' lawyer; Alpha werewolf of the Tempe pack.
• Thor: Norse God of Thunder
• Bacchus: The Roman god of wine
• Coyote: The trickster; most often recognized in Aboriginal American traditions. Often appears on the form of a Coyote.
• Mrs. Macdonagh: Also referred to as the widow; a neighbour of Atticus'
• Odin: Norse god; the ruler of Asgard
• Sleipnir: Odin's steed.
• Ratatosk: The squirrel that lives on the World Tree
• Laksha Kalasekaran: An Indian witch
• Hugin: A crow; "Thought" for Odin
• Munin: A crow; "Memory" for Odin
• Perun: A Slavic thunder god
• Vainamoinen: A shamanic culture hero of the ancient Finns
• Zhang Guo Lao: One of China's Eight Immortals
• Zdenik: The ancient vampire who turned Leif; of Czech descent
• Ferris: The iron elemental
• Sonora: An earth elemental
• Jesus: The son of God
• Rabbi Yosef Bialik: Member of the radical group Hammers of God
• Ulfer Dalsgaard: The werewolf who turned Gunnar
• Ingibjorg: Leif's wife when he was human
• Sveinn: One of Leif's sons back when he was human
• Olaf: One of Leif's sons back when he was human
• Suttung: One of the Jotunn
• Hrym: Leader of the Jotunn

Quotes edit see section history

• “What is it with you, Spock? Always prudence and caution and tiptoeing through the tulips. Don't you have any stones in your Vulcan panties?”

  Captian Kirk via dream sequence

• “What I'd truly been avoiding was love, the strongest binding there is, and the pain that scrapes at your insides when the bond is forcefully broken”

  Atticus

• “<Anyplace is good as long as there's sausage and bitches>”

  Oberon

• “<I think The Boondock Saints, because the Irish guys win. Plus the cat ends badly. It affirms my worldview and I feel validated.”

  Oberon

• “Is monstrous fuckpuddle.”

  Perun

• “Little Fish make dinner for big fish, yes? And there is always bigger fish.”

  Vainamoinen (Norse)

• “Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.”

  The immortal Zhang Guo lau

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• “You build and do not destroy; you sow goodwill and reap it; smiles bloom in the wake of your passing, and I will keep your kindness in trust and share it as occasion arises, so that your life will be a quenching draught of calm in a land of drought and stress.”

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• That’s right, there’s free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone’s jealous.

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• “Excellent!” Jesus beamed at him. “Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.”

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• Your dream should be like a favorite old bone that you savor and cherish and chew upon gently. Then, rather than stealing from you a wasted sigh or the life of an idle hour, it nourishes you, and you become strangely contented by nostalgia for a possible future, so juicy with possibility and redolent of sautéed garlic and decadent slabs of bacon that you feel full when you’ve eaten nothing. And then, one fine day when the sun smiles upon your snout, when the time is right, you bite down hard. The dream is yours. And then you chew on the next one.”

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• Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.

  Highlighted by 54 Kindle customers

• <I think The Boondock Saints, because the Irish guys win. Plus the cat ends badly. It affirms my worldview and I feel validated.>

  Highlighted by 52 Kindle customers

• “But, look, it is good to have a dream so long as you do not let it gnaw at the substance of your present.

  Highlighted by 49 Kindle customers

• There’s a reason Bath & Body Works doesn’t have a line of products called Huge Fucking Squirrel.

  Highlighted by 40 Kindle customers

• The existence of the universe is living proof that shit happens. Now, pay attention.”

  Highlighted by 29 Kindle customers

• The function of assholes in the world, just like the asshole we all have, is to spread shit around. They are loathsome and dirty and smell extraordinarily bad, but they are also vitally necessary.

  Highlighted by 27 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• Asgard: In Norse mythology, one of the Nine Worlds; the country of the Norse gods; where Valhalla is located
• Iceland
• Tempe
• Scandinavia

Organizations edit see section history

• Hammers of God: An organization of mixed faiths who use Kabbalistic sorcerers as their shock troops. They're extremely radical and end up doing more harm than good.

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Glossary edit see section history

• Yggdrasil: aka The World Tree; The giant ash tree that links and shelters all the worlds
• Gullinbursti: Thor's chariot
• Einherjar: The fallen Vikings who dwell in Valhalla

Series & Lists edit see section history

Preceded by Hexed, and followed by Tricked.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Kevin Hearne (Author)

Other Contributors:

1. Gene Molica (Cover Artist)
2. Luke Daniels (Narrator)

First Edition edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: n/a
• Dewey: 813.6

Notes for Parents edit see section history

Violence

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Science Fiction & Fantasy › Fantasy › Urban
• Books › Literature & Fiction › Contemporary

Books with Additional Background Information edit see section history