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Bossypants
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Bossypants (2011) (edit title/settings)

by Tina Fey (Author) (edit contributors)

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Tina Fey, one of the most influential and beloved women in entertainment, brings sharp wit and uncanny observational skill to everything she does, from television to major motion pictures. She's managed to be known as both the thinking man's sex symbol and every woman's alter-ego/imaginary... read more

Summary edit see section history

Bossypants is an autobiography written by American comedian Tina Fey. It tells her life story and how she came to be on SNL and how she created 30 rock. It topped the New York Times Best-Seller List, and stayed there for five weeks upon its release.

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  • “Do your thing and don't care if they like it.”
  • “Contrary to what I believed as a little girl, being the boss almost never involves marching around, waving your arms, and chanting, "I am the boss! I am the boss!"”
  • “Why is this book called Bossypants? One, because the name Two and a Half Men was already taken.”
  • “I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.”
  • “Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.”
  • “In my opinion, the most meaningful moment for women n the 2008 campaign was not Governor Palin's convention speech or Hillary Clinton conceding her 1,896 delegates. The moment most emblematic of how things have changed for women in America was nine-months-pregnant Amy Poehler rapping as Sarah Palin and tearing the roof off the place.”
  • “Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in they eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't fucking care if you like it.' Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.)”
  • “When people say, “You really, really must ” do something, it means you don’t really have to.”
  • “I learned quickly that trying to force Country Folk to love the Big City is like telling your gay cousin, “You just haven’t met the right girl yet.””
  • “New York is that chunk of garlic that you bite into thinking it’s potato and you can’t get the taste out of your mouth all day. It all blends once you mix it, but sometimes you really have to grind it against the side.”
  • “To this day, all I know is there are between two and four openings down there and that the setup inside looks vaguely like the Texas Longhorns logo.”
  • “Only Colin Quinn was direct about it. "Your father doesn't fucking play games. You would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that house."”
  • “Conversely, he would tell us things like “If you see two black kids riding around on one bike, put your bike in the garage.” This wasn’t racism; it was experience. Those kids were coming from West Philly to steal bikes.”
  • “Some people say "Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
  • “I had definitely never heard of anyone peeing in a cup and leaving it in their own office on a bookshelf to evaporate and be absorbed back into their body through the pores on their face.”
  • “I cannot emphasize to you how well this went… because I don’t know how to do “double underline” on my computer.”
  • “A few months after our friendly chat about kids (and my condescending remarks about New York), Mrs. Palin told conservative filmmaker John Ziegler that Katie Couric and I had exploited and profited by her family. But I know better than to respond to attacks in the media. Although if I were to respond, I would probably just say, “Nice reality show.””
  • “No one was ever turned gay by being at Summer Showtime, because that's not possible. If you could turn gay from being around gay people, wouldn't Kathy Griffin be Rosie O'Donnell by now?”
  • “I only hope that one day I can frighten my daughter this much...How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law. The World-wide Parental Anxiety System is failing if this many of us have made sex tapes.”
  • “We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine passtime. Everyone should try it it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.”
  • “This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.”
  • “¨Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one was a salted¨”
  • “The three Secrets of great skin are Moisture, SOOTS (Stay Out of the Sun), and Be Italian.”
  • “¨In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way¨”
  • ““The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know , was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
    Tina Fey
  • “I looked at the two identical bottles of rug detergent on the back porch. One was new and returnable. One was six months old and half empty. But which was which? I couldn't tell! They were opaque. I knew that word because I was in the Gifted Program, but it didn't help me in that split second. Whyd didn't I pick them both up to see which one was heavier? Why didn't I just bring both of them? I would nevre be placed in the Common Sense Program. My dad honked the horm for me to hurry up. I garbbed a bottle and dashed for the car.”
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Organizations edit see section history

  • YMCA: Hotel for those on the verge of homelessness and a fitness club for yuppies all in one.
  • Second City: A Chicago area improvisation troupe.

First Sentence edit see section history

Welcome Friend, Congratulations on your purchase of this American-made genuine book.

Table of Contents edit see section history

Introduction
Origin Story
Growing Up and Liking It
All Girls Must Be Everything
Delaware County Summer Showtime!
That's Don Fey
Climbing Old Rag Mountain
Young Men's Christian Association
The Windy City, Full of Meat
My Honeymoon, or A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again Either
The Secrets of Mommy's Beauty
Remembrances of Being Very Very Skinny
Remembrances of Being a Little Bit Fat
A Childhood Dream, Realized
Peeing in Jars with Boys
I Don't Care If You Like It (One in a series of love letters to Amy Poehler)
Amazing, Gorgeous, Not Like That
Dear Internet
30 Rock: An Experiment to Confuse Your Grandparents
Sarah, Oprah, and Captain Hook
There's a Drunk Midget in My House
A Celebrity's Guide to Celebrating the Birth of Jesus
Juggle This
The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter
What turning Forty Means to Me
What Should I Do with My Last Five Minutes?
Acknowledgments

Series & Lists edit see section history

This book is in 2011 Published Books. (community list)
This book is in Publishers Weekly Best Books of 2011. (authoritative list)
This book is in Amazon.com Best Books of 2011. (authoritative list)
This is book 6 of 20 in New York Times Bestsellers - Paperback Nonfiction (Current). (authoritative list)
This is book 3 of 10 in Amazon.com Best Books of April (2011). (authoritative list)

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

  1. Tina Fey (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Original Language: English
Publisher: Reagan Arthur Books
Country: U.S.A
Publication Date: April 5, 2011
ISBN: 978-0316056861
Page Count: 288

Classification edit see section history

  • Library of Congress: PN2287.F4255A3
  • Dewey: 814 or 792.702 FEY

More Books Like This edit see section history

   
  • Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
  • The Bedwetter
  • Pawnee
  • The Nerdist Way
  • Girl Walks into a Bar . . .

Books with Additional Background Information edit see section history

   
  • Live from New York

Books Cited by This Book edit see section history

   
  • Growing up and Liking It
  • A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

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