x dismiss this message
Did you know you can edit this page?
-
Sign Into Shelfari
-
Choose something to edit
-
Save your contributions
see page history
Description edit
Beginning with a chance encounter with the beautiful Eliza June Watermark and ending, four days and nine pages later, with the Events of November 17, this is the story of Gurion Maccabee, age ten: lover, fighter, scholar, and potential messiah. Expelled from multiple Jewish day-schools for... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Characters edit
- David Feldman: The fictional publisher who addresses the book's controversy.
- Gurion Maccabee: Add a description of this character.
- Benji Nakamook: Friend of Gurion Maccabee, arch-enemy of Bam Slokum.
- Vincie Portite: Friend of Gurion Maccabee.
- Isadore Momo: A shy foreign chubnik who barely speaks English.
- Ronrico Asparagus
- Mikey Bregman (aka The Janitor): A neat freak, little brother of Flunky Bregman.
- Ron Desormie: Gym teacher at Aptakisic Junior High School. Also, a verb.
- Blake Acer: Shover President.
- Flunky Bregman: Big brother of Mikey Bregman (aka The Janitor).
- Bam Slokum: The Aptakisic Indians Basketball's goldenboy; arch-enemy of Benji Nakamook.
- Blonde Lonnie
- Maholtz
- Boystar: Child Singer, befriended by Bam Slokum because girls think he's cute
- Co-Captain Baxter
- Leevon Ray: The only black kid in Aptakisic Junior High School.
- Lost Tribesman: Half-black student at Aptakisic Junior High School.
- Ashley: Friends with Bam Slokum.
- Blake Acer: President of the Main Hall Shovers.
- Scott Mookus (aka My Main Man): A student who has Williams Cocktail Party Syndrome.
- Call-Me-Sandy: Therapist to Aptakisic students in The Cage
- Virginia Pinge: Office secretary at Aptakisic Junior High School.
- Hector: The "fresh off the boat" janitor of Aptakisic Junior High School.
- Brodsky: Principal of Aptakisic Junior High School; Virginia Pinge is his secretary.
- Emmanuel Liebman: Friend of Gurion; one of the translators of The Instructions.
- Eliza June Watermark
- Flowers: Owner of the Frontier Motel, friend of Gurion's father.
- Yamowitz
- Botha
- Eliyahu
- Josh Berman
- Floyd
- Ruth
- Judah
- Samuel
- Yuval
- Hashem
- Avraham
- Schechter
- Esther
- Jerry
- Unger
- Adam
- Shlomo Cohen
- Isaac
- Rothstein
- Levinson
- Tamar
- Mr. Goldblum
- Pinker
- Dingle
- Clyde
- Drucker
- Shai
- Beauregard
- Pritikin
Quotes edit
-
“The jabbing was something Emmanuel Liebman had long ago taught me to call a blinker action. That label referred to the the orange blinkers that were mounted on the tops of construction horses; the horse showed you where it was that you shouldn't go, and the blinker showed you the horse. I.e., it showed you a showing. The jabbing of the finger was a blinker action because it was a pointing at a pointing. It pointed at how the finger was pointing at the three fake-oak waiting-chairs next to the door.”
Gurion Maccabee -
“They said that to be a good ignorer you had to concentrate on another thing because if you just concentrated on ignoring what you were supposed to ignore then you wouldn't really be ignoring what you were supposed to ignore because you'd be thinking about ignoring it, which was just another way of thinking about it.”
Gurion Maccabee
Setting & Locations edit
- Aptakisic Junior High School
- Cage
- Israel
- Brooklyn
- Main Hall Shovers
- Chicago
- Uipan
- Rabbi Salt
- Deerbrook Park
- Jerusalem
- Manhattan
- Boshka
- New York
- Northside
- Googy
- Bethlehem
- Rand Road
- Wilmette
- America
- Beirut
- Kenilworth
- Temple
- Torah Study
- Adonai
- Bathsheba
- Klingon
- Devon
- Ben-wa Wolf
- Litberg
- Evanston
First Sentence edit
Benji Nakamook thought we should waterboard each other, me and him and Vincie Portite.
Table of Contents edit
I. Blessings of The Instructions and the Gurionic War
II. The Side of Damage
1. Eliza June Watermark
2. Guns and Inquisitions
3. Damage
4. First Scripture
5. The Arrangement
6. Dark Enough
7. Signify
8. Vandal
9. Sophistry
10. Artful
11. Teachers
12. Deface
III. The Gurionic War
13. The Five
14. Death to the Jew
15. Tactical
16. Names
17. Scuffles
18. Commentary on Commentaries
19. We
20. Proper
21. The Verbosity of Hope
22. Control
IV. Coda
Glossary edit
- chomsky hypothesis: (p. 5)
- bance: (p. 6)
- B.D.: (p. 6) "Behavioral Disorder."
- goozy: (p. 6) A glob of spit.
- twetched: (p. 6) To spit.
- brougham: (p. 8)
- xiphoid process: (p. 8)
- kinesiologist: (p. 10)
- picaresque: (p. 14)
- Williams Cocktail Party Syndrome: (p. 14)
- A's were D'd: (p. 15) "Attentions were deficited", a reference to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
- FOB: (p. 17) "Fresh off the boat."
- Junish: (p. 22) Easy on the eyes, but...
Themes & Symbolism edit
- Yodh: (p. 23) We learn that both Gurion Maccabee and Eliza June Watermark have freckles in the shape of the Yodh, the tenth letter of many Semitic alphabets including Hebrew; Gurion happens to have two, one on each of his thumb-nucks. According to Wikipedia and Judaism mysticism, "two Yuds in a row designate the name of God Adonai and in pointed texts are written with the vowels of Adonai."
Series & Lists edit
Authors & Contributors edit
- Adam Levin (Author)
First Edition edit
Original Language: English
Publisher: Add the publisher.
Country: Add the country of publication.
Publication Date: Add the publication date.
ISBN: Add the ISBN.
Page Count: 1030
Publisher: Add the publisher.
Country: Add the country of publication.
Publication Date: Add the publication date.
ISBN: Add the ISBN.
Page Count: 1030
Awards edit
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
- Dewey: 813
Subjects edit
Movie Connections edit
Books Cited by This Book edit
We’re hiding the errata, books that influenced this book, books influenced by this book and books that cite this book sections. If you would like to add content to them, you must first make them visible.
