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Description edit
An affirming, revealing examination of the painful effects of shame—with new, powerful strategies that promise to transform a woman’s abilitiy to love, parent, work, and build relationships. Shame manifests itself in many ways. Addiction, perfectionism, fear and blame are just a few of... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Quotes edit
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“Compassion is not a virtue—it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have—it’s something we choose to practice.”
- Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers
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Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
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Shame is about the fear of disconnection. When we are experiencing shame, we are steeped in the fear of being ridiculed, diminished or seen as flawed. We are afraid that we’ve exposed or revealed a part of us that jeopardizes our connection and our worthiness of acceptance.
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four defining attributes of empathy. They are: (1) to be able to see the world as others see it; (2) to be nonjudgmental; (3) to understand another person’s feelings; and (4) to communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings.
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“People believe they deserve their shame; they do not believe they deserve their humiliation.”
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Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Women often experience shame when they are entangled in a web of layered, conflicting and competing social-community expectations. Shame creates feelings of fear, blame and disconnection.
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Guilt and shame are both emotions of self-evaluation; however, that is where the similarities end. The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between “I am bad” (shame) and “I did something bad” (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviors.
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Shame unravels our connection to others. In fact, I often refer to shame as the fear of disconnection—the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging.
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Shame and self-esteem are very different issues. We feel shame. We think self-esteem. Our self-esteem is based on how we see ourselves—our strengths and limitations—over time. It is how and what we think of ourselves. Shame is an emotion. It is how we feel when we have certain experiences. When we are in shame, we don’t see the big picture; we don’t accurately think about our strengths and limitations. We just feel alone, exposed and deeply flawed.
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Compassion is not a virtue—it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have—it’s something we choose to practice.
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“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”
Highlighted by 178 Kindle customers
First Sentence edit
When people ask me how I became a shame researcher, I tell them that my career was built around one sentence: "You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors."
Authors & Contributors edit
- C. Brené Brown (Author)
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
- Dewey: 152.44082
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