A smashing, award-winning debut novel that introduces Charley Davidson: part-time private investigator and full-time Grim Reaper
Charley sees dead people. That’s right, she sees dead people. And it’s her job to convince them to go into the light.” But when these very dead people have...
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Private investigator Charlotte Davidson was born with three things: a smoking hot ass; a healthy respect for the male anatomy; and the rather odd job title of grim reaper. Since the age of five, she has been helping the departed solve the mysteries of their deaths so they can cross. Thus, when... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
“I eyed him with my infamous death stare, second only to my infamous fluster stare, and got a response immediately.”Charley Davidson
“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.” I pointed to my right breast. This is Danger." Then my left "And this is Will Robinson." I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”Charley Davidson
“I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica”Charley Davidson
“That took balls. No, that took ovaries in which I have two.”
“All I have left is my sanity. And a breakfast burrito.”Charley Davidson
“It was 4:34 A.M. What kind of sadist called another human being at 4:34 in the morning?”Charley Davidson
“Did you know you have a dead guy in your living room?”“Isn’t that a bit like the pot calling the kettle African- American?”Charley Davidson and Mr. Wong
“I’m a private investigator when I have clients, a bartender when my dad needs me, and technically, I’m on the APD payroll as well. On paper, I’m a consultant. Probably because it sounds important. In real life, I’m the secret to Uncle Bob’s success, just as I was for my dad when he worked APD. My ability rocketed them through promotion after promotion until they both became detectives. It’s amazing how easy it is to solve crimes when you can ask the victims who did it.”Charley Davidson
“Mom’s going through withdrawal. We ran out of coffee last night.”Amber
“Were you just possessed?” Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. “ ’Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I’m selling my soul.”Cookie
“Someone hit me.” “Again? I didn’t realize it was National Kill Charley Davidson Week.”
“That’s when the world fell out from under me. Was it karma? Was my less-than-caring attitude toward Taft coming back to bite me on the ass, hot as it was? I checked and double-checked, searched and prayed, only to be left utterly and completely without a single coffee ground. How was this possible? How could the universe be so cruel?”Charley Davidson
“Charley, you were almost killed today.” Garrett’s silvery gaze glittered with anger. He was so moody. “And yesterday. Oh, right, and the day before. Maybe you should give it a rest?”Garrett
“I still can’t believe you did this. You make it through a drunken bully hell-bent on rearranging your face, a ten-foot fall through a skylight, and not one, but two attempted murders, only to be brought down by a stiletto. I knew those things were dangerous.”Uncle Bob
“Just because I see dead people, doesn't mean I want to be dead people.”Charley Davidson
Genius has its limitations. Insanity … not so much.Highlighted by 38 Kindle customers
I love children, but I don’t think I can eat a whole one. —BUMPER STICKERHighlighted by 23 Kindle customers
I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.Highlighted by 20 Kindle customers
Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. —T-SHIRTHighlighted by 20 Kindle customers
Well-behaved women rarely make history. —LAUREL THATCHER ULRICHHighlighted by 18 Kindle customers
I’d have a longer attention span if there weren’t so many shiny things. —T-SHIRTHighlighted by 14 Kindle customers
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. —STEVEN WRIGHTHighlighted by 14 Kindle customers
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. —BUMPER STICKERHighlighted by 11 Kindle customers
When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler. —BUMPER STICKERHighlighted by 10 Kindle customers
Do not disturb. Already there. —T-SHIRTHighlighted by 10 Kindle customers
Acknowledgments
Chapters 1 - 21
Followed by Second Grave on the Left.
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