Greetings, my young sycophant, greetings. How fortunate you are to be holding such a magnificent book. How your mind must be shivering in anticipation of the great wisdom of which you are about to partake. I know I can hardly wait, and I wrote the book.
I know it will be tempting to quote...
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A textbook explaining the proper behavior of sycophants in the land of Foo, along with journal entries kept by a young student named Clover Ernest, who will become the sycophant of Leven Thumps.
Insightful Introduction: By None Other Than Professor Philip Winsnicker Himself
1. Grooming and Robe Maintenance
2. Finding the Right Burn for You
3. Staying Invisible and Out of the Way
4. Feel Free to Skip This Chapter
5. Metal and Shiny Objects: What Not to Touch
6. Dealing with Name Changes
7. Making Your Burn Feel at Hime
8. Sycophant Run and Your Commitment
9. Appropriate Places to Sit
10. After the Initial Burn: Remaining Committed
11. Falling in Love and Family Life
12. Keeping Secrets and Avoiding Epiphanies
A Word of Warning: Professer Winsnicker Keeping It Real
Short List of Accomplishments
Index
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