The companion guide to the hysterical television show of the same name, in which Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant force their arrestingly simple pal Karl Pilkington on a global journey "He'd have been happier in medieval times in a village where you didn't travel beyond the local... read more
Karl Pilkington get sent by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant to the 7 Wonders of the World. This is his travel diary of his trips.
“The toilet is too far from the sink which is not what you need in India as both are often required at the same time when it’s coming out of both ends.”Karl Pilkington
“This is where Diana had her photo taken when she was having her problems with Charlie.Everyone said this is why she looked so miserable, but to be honest I think it was nothing to do with him.I just think she was sick of being in India.”Karl Pilkington
“Someone’s underpants hung on the end of the bedpost. I was going to move them then I thought they might attract the flies away from me so I left them.”
My mam told me not to tell many people about not being christened, as she said I would be a prime target for witches. To this day I don’t know what she meant by that.Highlighted by 37 Kindle customers
If Madonna got a glimpse of me in such a state she would probably take pity and adopt me to go with the rest of her collection.Highlighted by 32 Kindle customers
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?Highlighted by 31 Kindle customers
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I’m getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, ’cos if I’m not, I have no idea who I’m paying for.Highlighted by 30 Kindle customers
It didn’t look like the normal coconuts you win at fairgrounds. There was no hair on it. I don’t know if that’s how they grow here or if it’s that Brazilians hate hair on anything and they’ve waxed them.Highlighted by 29 Kindle customers
I think I’d rather be an uglyish looking person than a beautiful one, as how often do you have to look at yourself? If you’re quite ugly and you’re sat facing someone who is pretty at work, who’s got the better deal?Highlighted by 28 Kindle customers
I noticed a sign stating that toilet paper should be put in the bin and NOT DOWN THE TOILET. I think we should do this at home. We would get fewer criminals nicking people’s identities if they had to rummage through bin bags full of used toilet tissue.Highlighted by 25 Kindle customers
It’s interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up. Humans have always been hoarders of tat. I think that’s why lofts were invented; it’s somewhere to stick all the crap we collect in our lives rather than bury it.Highlighted by 23 Kindle customers
The only memory I have was how the wrestler’s balls that were thrust into my face left a saltiness on my lips. At first I assumed it was from the tacos, and then I realised I’d not eaten any today.Highlighted by 21 Kindle customers
I couldn’t believe I’d just about done a week in Peru. It had been perhaps the longest week of my life. If a doctor ever tells me I only have a month left to live I will return and do this trip again as it’ll feel like I have lived a lot longer.Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers
Introduction
The Pyramids
Christ the Redeemer
The Taj Mahal
Chichen Itza
The Great Wall
Petra
Machu Picchu
The Final Questionnaire
Acknowledgements
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