At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who invent and create but prefer not to pitch their own ideas; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled “quiet,”... read more
United States culture and much of Western culture makes a big deal out of extroverts. Do introverts have a place? Because they're usually more quiet, introverts are less likely to be heard. Yet it is their very nature that provides us all with some of the checks and balances that the culture... read more
United States culture and much of Western culture makes a big deal out of extroverts. Do introverts have a place? Because they're usually more quiet, introverts are less likely to be heard. Yet it is their very nature that provides us all with some of the checks and balances that the culture needs. Introverts are more likely to think through an issue rather than acting impulsively, and are more likely to consider all sides of an issue so as to have insightful ideas to bring to the table.
Asian cultures traditionally have valued introverts more, viewing their quietness as listening which is a valued trait in their society. Asian Americans raised in a predominantly Asian culture tend to be more introverted; however, once they move to college or have to blend with Western culture, they tend to lose some of their quietness in a quest to fit in or get ahead.
Do introverts sometimes need to act like extroverts? Yes. And research has found that it is best sustained when the introvert has deep passion behind the reason that they are doing it.
In the long run, both personality types need to learn to communicate with each other effectively. Extroverts push us forward, encouraging us to take risks we might not otherwise take, but introverts provide the caution that keeps us from getting in too deep or making impulsive foolish choices.
“We often marvel at how introverted, geeky kids "blossom" into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it's not the children who change but their environments. As adults, they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don't have to live in whatever culture they're plunked into.”
“Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.”
“At the university level, introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.”
“"They're (Introverts) often sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, pain and coffee. They have difficulty when being observed (at work, say, or performing at a musical recital) or judged for general worthiness (dating, job interviews)."”
“"The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day."”
“"Many introverts are prone from earliest childhood to strong guilt feelings."”
“Free Trait Theory "We are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits - introversion, for example - but we can do and act out of character in the service of "core personal projects." In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly."”Professor Brian Little
“...how did we go from Character to Personality without realizing that we had sacrificed something meaningful along the way?”
“She had a quiet but firm speaking style. She rarely spoke without thinking. Being mild-mannered, she could take strong, even aggressive, positions while coming across as perfectly reasonable. And she tended to ask questions—lots of them—and actually listen to the answers, which, no matter what your personality, is crucial to strong negotiation.”
“It's easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent.”A highly successful venture capitalist
“The lesson, says Collins, is clear. We don't need giant personalities to transform companies. We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.”Jim Collins
“I discovered early on that people don't buy from me because they understand what I'm selling," explains Jon. "They buy because they feel understood." Jon also benefits from his natural tendency to ask a lot of questions and to listen closely to the answers. "I got to the point where I could walk into someone's house and instead of trying to sell them some knives, I'd ask a hundred questions in a row. I could manage the entire conversation just by asking the right questions.”Jon Berghoff
“In other words, hundred of thousands of years of evolution urge us to get the hell off the stage, where we can mistake the gaze of the spectators for the glint in a predator's eye. Yet the audience expects not only that we'll stay put, but that we'll act relaxed and assured. .....It's also why exhortations to imagine the audience in the nude don't help nervous speakers; naked lions are just as dangerous as elegantly dressed ones.”
“If your child prefers to work autonomously and socialize one-on-one, there's nothing wrong with her; she just happens not to fit the prevailing model. The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself.”
INTRODUCTION: The North and South of Temperament
PART ONE: THE EXTROVERT IDEAL
1. THE RISE OF THE "MIGHTY LIKEABLE FELLOW": How Extroversion Became the Cultural Ideal
2. THE MYTH OF CHARISMATIC LEADERSHIP: The Culture of Personality, a Hundred Years Later
3. WHEN COLLABORATION KILLS CREATIVITY: The Rise of the New Groupthink and the Power of Working Alone
PART TWO: YOUR BIOLOGY, YOUR SELF?
4. IS TEMPERAMENT DESTINY? Nature, Nurture, and the Orchid Hypothesis
5. BEYOND TEMPERAMENT: The Role of Free Will (and the Secret of Public Speaking for Introverts)
6. "FRANKLIN WAS A POLITICIAN, BUT ELEANOR SPOKE OUT OF CONSCIENCE": Why Cool is Overrated
7. WHY DID WALL STREET CRASH AND WARREN BUFFETT PROSPER?: How Introverts and Extroverts Think (and Process Dopamine) Differently
PART THREE: DO ALL CULTURES HAVE AN EXTROVERT IDEAL?
8. SOFT POWER: Asian-Americans and the Extrovert Ideal
PART FOUR: HOW TO LOVE, HOW TO WORK
9. WHEN SHOULD YOU ACT MORE EXTROVERTED THAN YOU REALLY ARE?
10. THE COMMUNICATION GAP: How to Talk to Members of the Opposite Type
11. ON COBBLERS AND GENERALS: How to Cultivate Quiet Kids in a World That Can't Hear Them
A Note on the Dedication
A Note on the Words Introvert and Extrovert
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