Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we... read more
“When the FBI and other investigators failed to find any evidence whatsoeverfor the belief that the nation had been infiltrated by Satanic cults that were ritually slaughtering babies, believers in these cults were unfazed. The absence of evidence, they said, was confirmation of how clever and evil the cult leaders were: They were eating those babies, bones and all.”Authors
“...As Albert Camus observed, we are creatures who spend our lives trying to convince ourselves that our existence is not absurd.”Authors
“Trying to educate a bigot is like shining light into the pupil of an eye -- it constricts.”Oliver Wendell Holmes
“I have done that, says my memory. I cannot have done that, says my pride, and remains inexorable. Eventually -- memory yields.”Friedrich Nietzsche
Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent,Highlighted by 190 Kindle customers
People become more certain they are right about something they just did if they can't undo it.Highlighted by 166 Kindle customers
So powerful is the need for consonance that when people are forced to look at disconfirming evidence, they will find a way to criticize, distort, or dismiss it so that they can maintain or even strengthen their existing belief. This mental contortion is called the 'confirmation bias.'Highlighted by 162 Kindle customers
Self-justification, therefore, is not only about protecting high self-esteem; it's also about protecting low self-esteem if that is how a person sees himself.Highlighted by 159 Kindle customers
How do you get an honest man to lose his ethical compass? You get him to take one step at a time, and self-justification will do the rest.Highlighted by 150 Kindle customers
It's the people who almost decide to live in glass houses who throw the first stones.Highlighted by 111 Kindle customers
Once you take the gift, no matter how small, the process starts. You will feel the urge to give something back, even if it's only, at first, your attention, your willingness to listen, your sympathy for the giver.Highlighted by 108 Kindle customers
False memories allow us to forgive ourselves and justify our mistakes, but sometimes at a high price: an inability to take responsibility for our lives.Highlighted by 106 Kindle customers
Severe initiations increase a member's liking for the group. These findings do not mean that people enjoy painful experiences, such as filling out their income-tax forms, or that people enjoy things because they are associated with pain. What they do show is that if a person voluntarily goes through a difficult or a painful experience in order to attain some goal or object, that goal or object becomes more attractive.Highlighted by 103 Kindle customers
Parent blaming is a popular and convenient form of self-justification because it allows people to live less uncomfortably with their regrets and imperfections.Highlighted by 102 Kindle customers
Fine for teens or adults -- and badly needed by both groups.
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