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Description edit
When she lands a coveted nonpaying, nonspeaking role in a play going on a European tour, Rachel Shukert — with a brand-new degree in acting from NYU and no money—finally scores her big break. And, after a fluke at customs in Vienna, she gets her golden ticket: an unstamped passport, giving her... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Characters/People edit
- Rachel Shukert: Add a description of this character.
- Pete
- Beta Mattijs
- Jeroen
- Ivan
- Berthold
- Ben
- Stacey Seligmann
- Tommy
- Mariska
- Phil Collins
- Paul
- Marco
- Lauren
- Linus
- Enzo
- Sam
- Trevor
- Jackie
- Arthur
- Herr Winkler
- Abdullah
- Sebastiao
- Hattie
- Evelyn
- Fabrizio
- Marcel
- Anne Frank
- Alessandra
- Kevin
Quotes edit
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“Once one has successfully managed to be born, one must exist, and existence is basically also a never-ending series of coincidences. Most of these amount to nothing and are quickly forgotten, missed opportunities we never even knew we had. But a very few change the course of our lives forever. It is about these coincidences that novels are written and movies are made. In them, we see the hand of God, of karma, of fate.”
First Sentence edit
There are many wonderful ways to use this book.
Table of Contents edit
I. How to Use This Book
1. Preparing the Preparations
II. One: I Am Not Even Washing the Underpants of Me
2. The Emergency Room
III. Two: Hello From Betsy Waldbaum Abramson
IV. Three: In Vienna, Everyone Looks Like Your Therapist
3. Foreskin FAQs
V. Four: The Second District
4. Snappy Comebacks to Loaded Questions
VI. Five: What Are you, Some Kind of Refugee?
5. The Swiss: Europe's Perverts? A Critical Essay
6. "Excuse Please, How Much?" When Someone Mistakes You for a Prostitute
VII. Six: There Are No Laws for the Fish
7. Where the Fuck Am I? A Guide to Dutch Street Names
8. Where Everybody Knows Your Name: Coping with Lonliness Through the Power of Television
VIII. Seven: It Tastes So Good
9. Are You About to Be Sex Trafficked? A Checklist
IX. Eight: They Give Me Chicken, but Still I Am a Stranger
10. Another Century in Paradise: Phil Collins and the Dutch: A Survey
X. Nine: A Matter of Personal Pride
11. The Contradictory Nature of the Dutch National Character: Topics for Discussion
XI. Ten: Satan is About to Begin the Candle-Lighting Ceremony
12. More Sinterklass Poems to Share and Love
XII. Eleven: Everything is Going to Be Great
XIII. Twelve: Seize the Pickle Firmly and Never Let it Go
13. How to End This Book
14. Leaving the Grand Tour
XIV: Thirteen: The End of the Beginning
XV: Acknowledgements
Authors & Contributors edit
- Rachel Shukert (Author)
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
- Dewey: 920
Subjects edit
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