Bike Snob: Systematically & Mercilessly Realigning the World of Cycling (2010) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit see section history

People edit see section history

• Albert Pope: In 1878, started the Columbia Bicycle Company in Boston. By 1880, all the cool people were rocking his penny-farthings.
• Tom Hanks: Add a description of this character.
• Lance Armstrong
• Leibowitz

Quotes edit see section history

• “Of all the Truly Great Inventions, which one is the greatest? Well, there's no way to tell, as it's all really just a matter of opinion. But we can narrow it down. There's a simple litmus test you can use to tell a Truly Great Invention from a regular invention. And that litmus test is the Amish.”

• “It is sobering to think that, as a cyclist, all that's between you and being run over by a Ford Explorer is the driver bending down for half a second to retrieve a dropped McNugget.”

• “When it comes to cycling, it's essential to be without fear and to ride your bike whenever and wherever you want. However, it's also essential to be smart. This may seem obvious, but there are a lot of stupid cyclists out there. There may even be as many stupid cyclists as stupid drivers, proportionately speaking.”

• “It strike me as odd that many cyclist don't use lights at night.... Besides bicycles, the only fast-moving objects that don't use lights are missiles, bullets, and bombs, all of which are designed to take people by surprise and run into them. Unless that's your goal on the bike, too, you should probably use a light.”

• “Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia”

  H.G. Wells

• “When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race”

  H.G. Wells

• “Bicycles are the new rollerblades, talentless is the new talented, and I'm in hog heaven”

  Ryan Seacrest

• “Given a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring.”

  Desmond Tutu

• “Get a bicycle. You will not forget it. If you live.”

  Mark Twain

• “Nothing compares to the simple pleasure of a bike ride”

  John F. Kennedy

• “It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle”

  Ernest Hemingway

• “To prepare for a race there is nothing better than a good pheasant, some champagne, and a woman”

  Jacques Anquetil

• “The typical driver is like a woman in a female-only household who falls into the toilet when a male guest visits. After all, the seat's always down-why even bother to check? It's an article of faith. Plus, motor vehicles have gotten so huge drivers barely even notice other cars, much less bicyclists--which, we all know, belong on the sidewalk.”

• “Fear of flying is a little crazy, but fear of driving is actually quite rational. ... Using a car because you have to make a hundred-mile trip with your family makes sense. Using a car instead of a bike because it's safer is like climbing out the window on a rope ladder because of the remote possibility your staircase might be infested with termites.”

• “... the cycling world has done as much as anybody to convince us that cycling is a high-risk activity. Between the bicycle companies and the bicycle advocacy groups, there's now a perception that you have to be a raving lunatic to ride a bicycle without a helmet. Thanks to them, people consider simply going near your bicycle without a helmet tantamount to lighting up a mentholated cigarette, taking a deep drag, and exhaling it right into a newborn baby's face. ... let a helmet serve as the precaution that it is, but don't let it scare you from riding a bike. And if it's between riding a bike without a helmet and not riding a bike, you're better off just riding the bike.”

• “...by simply being cyclists and riding our bikes we're actually doing as much for cycling as anybody. This is part of the beauty of cycling--all it really takes to be a cycling advocate is to ride your bike.”

• “Cyclists who ride against traffic (also known as "bike salmon") or who ride on the sidewalk are even worse for cycling than dumb drivers and poor street designs. First of all, every time a non-cyclist sees a bike salmon it reaffirms their notion that cycling is a pastime for children and crazy people. Second of all, there's nothing more irritating than riding along with traffic at a good clip only to encounter some idiot coming at you head-on. ... you forfeit a certain amount of credibility when you ride against traffic while on a cell phone and then just hop onto the sidewalk when things get too hairy.”

• “Telling someone to be confident is kind of like telling someone to be taller ... however, you can acquire confidence on the bike over time, and the safest way to ride is assertively, not tentatively. It's like carrying a couple of full cocktail glasses: if you look straight ahead and walk steadily, you won't spill a drop; if you keep looking down and worrying about spilling them, you will.”

• “... when you approach an intersection think of the cars as affectionate cats that are going to try to rub themselves against you.”

• “It's hardly surprising that bicycles have become the new dogs. We live in a world in which we're defined by our purchases. ... And even though it's expensive to express ourselves through our purchases, it's still much easier tan expressing ourselves through our words and actions. ... It's this attitude that's at the heart of gentrification. ... And if the cycling bug needs to be fashion-borne in order to infect the general populace, then i suppose that's a relatively small price to pay.”

• “... cycling is less a hobby than it is a discipline with the potential to transform you. It brings balance. It's also a form of personal expression, like playing music, or writing or painting. It's a way of seeing the world, and it's as enriching as any of those things can be. It can even be an art form. A cycling victory can be inspiring. You can't really sat that about coin collecting.”

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• A bicycle can give you the feeling of freedom and speed you get from riding a motorcycle, the sense of well-being and peace you get from meditating, the health benefits you get from an afternoon in the gym, the sense of self-expression you get from learning to play guitar, and the feeling of victory you get from completing a marathon.

  Highlighted by 72 Kindle customers

• It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle. —Ernest Hemingway

  Highlighted by 71 Kindle customers

• Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring. —Desmond Tutu

  Highlighted by 54 Kindle customers

• When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. —H.G. Wells

  Highlighted by 42 Kindle customers

• Drinking and cycling is like drinking and flirting—it’s pretty likely you’re going to wind up hitting something, and the results are probably going to be ugly.

  Highlighted by 40 Kindle customers

• (1) a person who rides a bicycle even when he or she doesn’t have to; (2) a person who values the act of riding a bicycle over the tools one needs in order to do it.

  Highlighted by 36 Kindle customers

• Roadies are the junkies of the cycling world; they’re skinny and untrustworthy, and they’ll do whatever they need to in order to keep their habit going. The Roadie’s life is full of disappointed people—spouses, friends, family—all of whom have involuntarily funded their depraved lifestyle in one way or another.

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• Essentially, the only thing separating a sexual sadomasochist and a road racer is slightly different fetish gear.

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• (Humans are the only animals that use other animals to facilitate mating. Have you ever seen a monkey use a squirrel to pick up another monkey?)

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• I mean, sure, you do come across people occasionally who never learned how to ride a bike, but it’s rare and a little unsettling. It’s like meeting Someone who can’t operate a washing machine, or a thirty-two-year-old guy who never learned how to pee standing up. You smile politely, you pity them silently, and then you move on down to the other end of the bar.

  Highlighted by 25 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• New York City
• Brooklyn
• Long Island
• Queens
• Merrick Road
• Valley Stream
• Jamaica
• Flushing
• Far Rockaway
• Lone Wolf
• France
• Main Street

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Glossary edit see section history

• Cyclist (revised): A person who rides a bicycle when he or she doesn't have to; a person who values the act of riding a bicycle over the tools one needs in order to do it
• Cyclist (original): One who rides a bicycle, even when he or she doesn't have to do so.
• The Roadie: The prototypical cyclist. Steeped in tradition, immediately recognized by their appearance, they are like the Amish, or like Hasidic Jews, in that they are by far the most orthodox of cyclists. You may not want to be one, but you're glad they are there. Romantics believe they are the toughest of all cyclists, and that their careful preparation and studied appearance is a natural expression of their mental and physical toughness.
• The Mountain Biker: The Roadie's counterpart. The main difference is one of terrain, although they have different attitudes, vocabularies and personas.
• The Cyclocrosser: An extremely popular sport in Belgian (like curling in Canada), cyclocrossers can be found standing in mud while wearing knee-high rubber boots and ringing cowbells (when not racing on muddied trails)
• The Triathlete: The turduckens of the cycling world, typically cycle only because it's necessary in winning a triathlon. They'd be perfectly happy to cycle indoors on a trainer, or spend copious amounts of money, if they thought it'd given even the smallest competitive edge
• The Urban Cyclist: Distinct from the person who simply lives and rides a bicycle in the city, urban cyclists ride fast (or look like they ride fast, or maybe, just do tricks). They generally laugh at people who wear brightly colored Lycra. For unknown reasons, they are one of the very few groups of cyclists among whom cigarette smoking is not only acceptable but considered "cool", which is sort of like being really into performance cars but driving around with rags shoved up the tailpipe...
• The Messenger: Like cobblers, blacksmiths and cowboys, bicycle messengers continue to exist despite increasing irrelevance and a constantly shrinking demand for their labors. Even though they have less and less to deliver, no other cyclist is as romanticized as the messenger, especially outside of the cycling world. Unlike other cyclists who will try to recruit new prospects, Messengers often discourage aspiring Messengers because the mystique of the messenger depends on people thinking it's hard...
• The Beautiful Godzilla: A particular kind of urban female cyclist who rides as though the rest of the world were created simply to yield to her. She's generally young, good-looking, and clad in expensive clothes. Other cyclists don't like them because they should be dead, but aren't.
• Retro-Grouches: Describe this term.
• The Righteous Cyclist
• The Lone Wolf
• Contraption Captains

Themes & Symbolism edit see section history

• Cycling as a way of life: Describe this theme.

Series & Lists edit see section history

List the series to which this book belongs.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Eben Weiss (Author)

Other Contributors:

1. Christopher Koelle (Illustrator)

First Edition edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 796.6--de22

Notes for Parents edit see section history

Contains some swearing and references to sex, recreational drugs, and bad music. But by far and away, is a clean read. Just wouldn't be interesting to most younger audiences.

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Sports › Individual Sports › Cycling
• Books › Nonfiction › Transportation

Links to Supplemental Material edit see section history

• Bike Snob NYC: Auther Eben Weiss's blog

More Books Like This edit see section history