Stephanie Plum, girl bounty hunter, the terror of Trenton, the bane of her boyfriend Joe Morelli's existence, and the delight of her crazy grandma's heart, is in the wrong place at the wrong time--as usual. Just happening to be indulging her nachos jones at a local deli when it's robbed by the... read more
She's accidentally destroyed a dozen cars. She's a target for every psycho and miscreant this side of the Jersey Turnpike. Her mother's convinced she'll end up dead...or worse, without a man. She's Stephanie Plum and she kicks butt for a living (well, she thought it would sound good to put it... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
“That's the way it is with disaster. In an instant your future can disappear. And nothing can adequately prepare you for the moment. There's a millisecond of surprise and then a heaviness of heart when finality is recognized.”Stephanie Plum
“I was surprisingly calm. My life had taken on a feature film quality. I was living Die Hard in Trenton. And Bruce Willis was in drag.”Stephanie Plum
“The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.”Stephanie Plum
“This is a high-stress business, and you're comedy relief for my entire team. Plus, I get a tax break.”Ranger
“I was a damn good ho.”Lula
“Life was fudging complicated.”Stephanie Plum
“I was a shower gel slut!”Stephanie Plum
“The good thing about living with a cop is that you never have to call home when disaster strikes. As you might suspect, that's also the bad part. Seconds after the emergency call goes in on the robbery and the car fire, describing my yellow Escape, at least forty different cops, EMTs, and fire fighters will track Morelli down and tell him his girlfriend's done it again.”Stephanie Plum
“"What's the deal on Harold?" I asked Connie. "He's local. Moved to the Burg three years ago from Newark, lives in one of those row houses on Canter Street. Got drunk two weeks ago and tried to take a leak on Mrs Gooding's cat, Ben. Ben was a moving target and Pancek mostly got the side of Gooding's house and Gooding's favorite rose bush. Killed the rosebush and took the paint off the house. And Gooding says she washed the cat three times and he still smells like asparagus."”Connie
“"Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when she saw the truck parked in front of a convenience store. Just got whacked out at the thought of all those chips. She threatened the driver wtih a nail file, filled her car with bags of Fritos, and took off, leaving the driver standing there in front of his empty truck. The police asked him why he didn't stop her, and he said she was a woman on the edge. He said his wife got to looking like that sometimes, and he didn't go near her when she was like that, either"”Connie
“"We wouldn't shoot you" Lula said "unless, of course, you drew a gun. What we'd do is gas you. We got pepper spray. Or we could zap you with the stun gun. My choice would be the stun gun on account of we're using my car and there's a lot of snot produced if we gave you a face full of pepper spray. I just had my car detailed. I don't want the back seat full of snot."”Lula
“Those dogs humped all over you. And you got something in your hair from that bull dog.”Lula
“I rolled free of Banker, and Lula sat down hard ohim, simultaneously expelling every molecule of air out of both ends of Banker's body.”Stephanie Plum
“No Cap'n Crunch, no peanut butter. No Entenmann's coffee cake. How could anyone live like this?”Stephanie Plum
“Well, excuse me, but I think that's tacky. He could at least steal something with a bigger backseat. This here's a pregnant woman he's slippin' into.”Lula
The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don’t really know what it’s about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it’s good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.Highlighted by 43 Kindle customers
If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don’t count.Highlighted by 29 Kindle customers
If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.Highlighted by 24 Kindle customers
“I like you. We all like you.” He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, lifted me two inches off the ground, and kissed me. “The truth is, I love you . . . in my own way.”Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers
“Play the role,” Lula said. “That’s what we do. We pick a role and we play it. What role you want to play?” “I want to be smart, and I want to be brave.” “Go for it,” Lula said.Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers
“I said there was no monetary way to justify your security. The truth is, you’re a line item in my budget.”Highlighted by 12 Kindle customers
Sometimes it felt like Ranger could look you in the eye and know all the stuff that was inside your head. It was a little unnerving, but it saved a lot of time since talk wasn’t necessary.Highlighted by 10 Kindle customers
Ranger was leaning one shoulder against the doorjamb, his arms loosely crossed over his chest.Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers
Ranger nudged me into the shadow of the alley, pressed me against the brick wall, and kissed me. When his tongue touched mine my fingers curled into his shirt, and I think I might have momentarily lost consciousness.Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers
Everyone crossed themselves at the mention of the IRS. Street gangs and the mob paled in comparison to fear of the tax code.Highlighted by 6 Kindle customers
Preceded by To the Nines, and followed by Eleven on Top.
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