The author of two critically acclaimed novels, "The Russian Debutante’s Handbook" and "Absurdistan," Gary Shteyngart has risen to the top of the fiction world. Now, in his hilarious and heartfelt new novel, he envisions a deliciously dark tale of America’s dysfunctional coming years—and the... read more
“My youth has passed, but the wisdom of age hardly beckons.”Lenny Abramov
“I know his heart is in the right place. It’s always in the right place. But after a while, who cares, right?”Eunice Park
“I felt paternal and aroused, which is not a good combination”Lenny Abramov
“Mulitple universes tempted me with their existence. Like the immutability of God or the survival of the soul, I knew they would prove a mirage, but still I grasped for belief. Because I believed in her.”Lenny Abramov
I’m learning to worship my new äppärät’s screen, the colorful pulsating mosaic of it, the fact that it knows every last stinking detail about the world, whereas my books only know the minds of their authors.Highlighted by 178 Kindle customers
I think that’s where we went wrong as a country. We were afraid to really fight each other, and so we devolved into this Bipartisan thing and this ARA thing. When we lost touch with how much we really hate each other, we also lost the responsibility for our common future.Highlighted by 153 Kindle customers
They were together for the obvious and timeless reason: It was slightly less painful than being alone.Highlighted by 142 Kindle customers
Remember this, Lenny; develop a sense of nostalgia for something, or you’ll never figure out what’s important.Highlighted by 142 Kindle customers
The love I felt for her on that train ride had a capital and provinces, parishes and a Vatican, an orange planet and many sullen moons—it was systemic and it was complete.Highlighted by 136 Kindle customers
The phrase “I live for my kids,” for example, is tantamount to admitting that one will be dead shortly and that one’s life, for all practical purposes, is already over. “I’m gradually dying for my kids” would be more accurate.Highlighted by 123 Kindle customers
Oh, dear diary. My youth has passed, but the wisdom of age hardly beckons. Why is it so hard to be a grown-up man in this world?Highlighted by 103 Kindle customers
I relished hearing language actually being spoken by children. Overblown verbs, explosive nouns, beautifully bungled prepositions. Language, not data. How long would it be before these kids retreated into the dense clickety-clack äppärät world of their absorbed mothers and missing fathers?Highlighted by 93 Kindle customers
For the first time in my life, I felt sorry for Jesus. Sorry that the miracles ascribed to him hadn’t actually made a difference. Sorry that we were all alone in a universe where even our fathers would let us get nailed to a tree if they were so inclined, or cut our throats if so commanded—see under Isaac, another unfortunate Jewish shmuck.Highlighted by 85 Kindle customers
My hair would continue to gray, and then one day it would fall out entirely, and then, on a day meaninglessly close to the present one, meaninglessly like the present one, I would disappear from the earth. And all these emotions, all these yearnings, all these data, if that helps to clinch the enormity of what I’m talking about, would be gone. And that’s what immortality means to me, Joshie. It means selfishness. My generation’s belief that each one of us matters more than you or anyone else would think.Highlighted by 79 Kindle customers
Chapter 1 - Do Not Go Gentle
Chapter 2 - Sometimes Life is Suck
Chapter 3 - The Otter Strikes Back
Chapter 4 - The Only Man for Me
Chapter 5 - The Fallacy of Merely Existing
Chapter 6 - The Next Plane Home
Chapter 7 - RateMe Plus
Chapter 8 - Fire Up that Eggplant
Chapter 9 - Total Surrender
Chapter 10 - Something Nice is Growing Inside Me
Chapter 11 - The Nuclear Option
Chapter 12 - Temperance, Charity, Faith, Hope
Chapter 13 - Amy Greenberg’s “Muffintop Hour”
Chapter 14 - The Quiet American
Chapter 15 - The Sinners’ Crusade
Chapter 16 - I’ll Love him Even More
Chapter 17 - Anti-Inflammation
Chapter 18 - Old Man Spunkers
Chapter 19 - The Rupture
Chapter 20 - Security Situation In Progress
Chapter 21 - Dating Tips
Chapter 22 - Five-Jiao Men
Chapter 23 - Oh My God, I’m Such A Bad Girlfriend
Chapter 24 - Deaf Child Area
Chapter 25 - How Do We Tell Lenny?
Chapter 26 - Forever Young
Chapter 27 - Welcome Back, Pa’dner
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