In the virtual reality game Heir Apparent, there are way too many ways to get killed--and Giannine seems to be finding them all. Which is a darn shame, because unless she can get the magic ring, locate the stolen treasure, answer the dwarf's dumb riddles, impress the head-chopping statue,... read more
“.. if I hadn't known what she was talking about, I wouldn't have known what she was talking about.”Giannine
“Heir Apparant," she said, "is like bean soup.”The Receptionist
“But "I'll set the dogs on you" certainly sounds more impressive than "I'll call my dog, and if she hears me, and if she obeys, she'll make her way down here and maybe even bite you with whatever teeth she has left." And it certainly sounds more impressive than "i'll set the chickens on you.”Giannine
“The queen gave me a look like oh-i-didn't-know-turds-could-talk.”Giannine
“Get on with it, man. Shake her hand, wish her luck, repeat after me: 'It's been nice knowing you; good-bye.'”Sir Deming
“"It's like a fat woman trying to stand on one foot. No, not good idea at all.”Sister Mary Ursula
“You gotta do something when your parents saddle you with a name like Nigel.”Nigel Rasmussen
1. Happy Birthday to Me
2. Off to a Fantastic Start (Not!)
3. Fun and Games with the Family
4. A Heavenly Visitor
-- Rasmussem interoffice e-mail
5. Simple Math
6. "Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200"
7. Shuffle and Deal Again
8. Hey, Loser, Start Over Again (Again)
9. Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
10. Family History
11. A Poem Can Be a Home to Those Who Roam (Or, Like, Whatever)
-- Rasmussem interoffice e-mail
12. One
13. Disarming the Troops
14. Are We Having Fun Yet?
-- Rasmussem interoffice e-mail
15. Bright Sword, Dim Brother
16. Lunch
17. Treasure Hunt
18. Calling in the Reinforcements
19. Magic Realism (without the Realism_
-- Rasmussem interoffice e-mail
20. Seige
21. Back to the Battlements
22. Did Someone Say Deja Vu?
-- Rasmussem interoffice e-mail
23. Will the Guilty Party Please Step Forward?
24. Fast Forward
25. Morning Comes Early When There's No Snooze Button
26. Keep Everybody (But Me) Happy
27. Preparations for a Journey
28. Xenos's Dad
29. A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step (and Other Trite Nonsense)
30. Dead Oxen and Gold
31. Home Sweet Home (Or Not)
32. The End
33. Satisfaction Guaranteed, Or Your Money Cheerfully Refunded
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