The Book of Awesome (2010) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit see section history

Quotes edit see section history

• “You used to be a sperm. Now don't get self-conscious. We all used to be sperm. Check out the period at the end of this sentence. That tiny little dot is around 600 microns wide. When you were a sperm, you were about 40 microns wide. And you were so cute back then too, with your little tail wagging all over the place and your love of swimming. Boy could you swim. In fact, if you hadn't outswum your siblings, you might be a slightly different version of yourself right now. Maybe you'd have a higher-pitched laugh, hairier arms, or stand two inches shorter.You had a great life as a sperm but always felt incomplete. The truth is you weren't whole until you met an egg. And then you two began a nine-month project to make a cool new version of you. It took a while but you grew arms and legs and eyeballs and lungs. You grew nerves and nails and eardrums and tongues.”

• “For a sperm to meet an egg it means your mom met your dad. But it's not just them. Think about how many people had to meet, fall in love, and make love for you to be here. Here's the answer: a lot. Like a lot a lot. Before they had you, none of your ancestors drowned in a pond, got strangled by a python, or skied into a tree. None of your ancestors choked on a peach pit, was trampled by buffalo, or got their tie stuck in an assembly line. None of your ancestors was a virgin. You are the most modern, brightest spark of years and years, and years of survivors who all had to meet each other in order to eventually make you. Your nineteenth-century Grandma met your nineteenth century Grandpa down at the candle-making shoppe. She liked his muttonchops and he thought she looked cute churning butter. Your Middle Ages Grandpa met your Middle Ages Grandma while they both poured hot oil from the castle turrets on pillaging Vikings.”

• “She liked his grunts and he thought the flowers in her hair made her heaving bosoms jump out.Your Ice Age Grandpa crossing the Bering Bridge in a woolly mammoth fur met your Ice Age Grandma dragging a club in the opposite direction. He liked her sabertoothed necklace and she dug his unibrow. Your ancient rainforest Grandpa was picking berries naked in the bush while your ancient rainforest Grandma was spearing dodos for dinner. She liked his jungle funk and he liked her cave drawings. If it wasn’t for the picnic they had afterward, maybe you wouldn’t be here. You’re pretty lucky all those people met, fell in love, made love, had babies, and raised them into other people who did it all over again. This happened over and over and over again for you to be here. Look around the plane, coffee shop, or park right now. Look at your husband snoring in bed, your girlfriend watching TV, or your sister playing in the backyard. You are surrounded by lucky people.”

• “They are all the result of long lines of survivors. So you’re a survivor too. You’re the latest and greatest. You’re the top of the line. You’re the very best nature has to offer....We are the only species on the only life-giving rock capable of love and magic, architecture and agriculture, jewelry and democracy, airplanes and highway lanes. We’re the only ones with interior design and horoscope signs, fashion magazines, and house party scenes, horror flicks with monsters, guitar jams at concerts. We got books, buffets, and radio waves, wedding brides and roller coaster rides, clean sheets and good movie seats, bakery air and rain hair, Bubble Wrap and illegal naps. We got all that. But people, listen up. We only get a hundred years to enjoy it. I’m sorry but it’s true.”

• “Every single person you know will be dead in a hundred years—the foreman at your plant, the cashiers at your grocery store, every teacher you’ve ever had, anyone you’ve ever woken up beside, all the kids on your street, every baby you’ve ever held, every bride who’s walked down the aisle, ever telemarketer who’s called you at dinner, every politician in every country, ever actor in every movie, everyone who’s cut you off on the highway, everyone in the room you’re sitting in right now, everyone you love, and you. Life is so great that we only get a tiny moment to enjoy everything we see. And that moment is right now. And that moment is counting down. And that moment is always, always fleeting.You will never be as young as you are right now.”

• “So whether you’re enjoying your first toothpicked turkey cold cuts and marveling at apples from South Africa, dreaming of strange and distant relatives from thousands of years ago, or staring into the blackness of deep, deep space, just remember how lucky we all are to be here right now. If you feel that sense of wonder and beauty in all the tiny joys in life, then you’re part of an international band of old souls and optimists, smiling on sidewalks, dancing at weddings, and flipping to the other side of the pillow. Let’s all high five and keep thinking wild thoughts, dreaming big dreams, and laughing loud laughs.”

• “And make sure when you stop to smell the roses, you stop to smell the croissants and cookies too.”

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• With so much sad news and bad news pouring down upon us, it’s fun to stop for a minute and share a universal high five with the rest of humanity.

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• But dang, girl. Hot undies, they is fine.

  Highlighted by 13 Kindle customers

• Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you’re going the speed limit anyway Stress level goes up. Stress level goes down. AWESOME!

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• flipping over your pillow and checking out the other side cranks Bed Comfort up a few notches and is a simple and easy way to help you relax and get comfy. The other side of the pillow, folks. Because it’s flat when you’re sagging, fresh when you’re stale, and cold when you’re hot, baby.

  Highlighted by 7 Kindle customers

• The moment at a concert after the lights go out and before the band comes onstage

  Highlighted by 7 Kindle customers

• life’s just too short not to sleep when you feel like it. So lower those blinds, unplug that alarm clock, and nap strong, nap long, and nap proud, my friends.

  Highlighted by 6 Kindle customers

• Sometimes you just gotta read the nutritional label and eat it anyway. Sometimes . . . you just gotta live.

  Highlighted by 5 Kindle customers

• Taking your bra off after wearing it for hours It just feels like freedom. Or so I’ve heard. AWESOME!

  Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers

• So let’s just love the age we’ve got and let’s not crave the age we’re not. Amen, sing it to your mama.

  Highlighted by 4 Kindle customers

• Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you’ve got lots of sleep time left

  Highlighted by 3 Kindle customers

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Themes & Symbolism edit see section history

• AWESOME!: Used at the end of every awesome thing.

Series & Lists edit see section history

List the series to which this book belongs.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Neil Pasricha (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Awards edit see section history

• White Pine Award (2012: Teen Non-Fiction, #1)

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 808.607

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Health, Mind & Body › Self-Help › Happiness
• Books › Entertainment › Humor › Essays
• Books › Entertainment › Humor › Self-Help & Psychology

More Books Like This edit see section history