Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked, Sedaris turns the mania for memoir on its ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview — a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable. A... read more
“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail”
“I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
“Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.”
“Commit. He committed suicide. You don't have a suicide, it has you.”Sharon Sedaris
In terms of emotional comfort, it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.Highlighted by 65 Kindle customers
You can’t brace yourself for famine if you’ve never known hunger; it is foolish even to try. The most you can do is eat up while you still can, stuffing yourself, shoveling it in with both hands and licking clean the plates, recalling every course in vivid detail.Highlighted by 61 Kindle customers
Acting is different than posing or pretending. When done with precision, it bears a striking resemblance to lying.Highlighted by 53 Kindle customers
My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions who hate you for what you are and you’re likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks. I haven’t got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.Highlighted by 48 Kindle customers
There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marsh-mallows.Highlighted by 34 Kindle customers
Test eye shadow on all the rabbits you want. Strap electrodes to the skulls of rhesus monkeys and shock them into a stupor, but it is inhumane to place a nudist on horseback the day after a chili cook-off. (“Was he always an Appaloosa?”)Highlighted by 29 Kindle customers
It would have been all right for him to remain at home for the rest of his life, massaging worry beads and drinking bitter coffee, but to marry a woman with two distinct eyebrows was unpardonable.Highlighted by 29 Kindle customers
“What’s wrong with this?” he’d ask. “These pants are brand-new.” “New to you,” she’d say. “Pimps and circus clowns have been dressing that way for years.”Highlighted by 28 Kindle customers
I hoped that the warm Mediterranean waters might melt the icicle she seemed to have mistaken for a rectal thermometer.Highlighted by 26 Kindle customers
I admitted that, yes, I had “taken” the pencil but I hadn’t really “stolen” it. There was a big difference between the two. You steal the things that you covet while you take the things the original owner is incapable of appreciating. The pencil had spoken to me of its neglect, and I had offered to put it to good use. Taking is just borrowing without the formality.Highlighted by 22 Kindle customers
Chipped Beef
A Plague of Tics
Get Your Ya-Ya's Out
Next of Kin
Cyclops
The Women's Open
True Detective
Dix Hill
I Like Guys
The Drama Bug
Dinah, The Christmas Whore
Planet of the Apes
The Incomplete Quad
C.O.G.
Something for Everyone
Ashes
Naked
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