How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire (2005) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit see section history

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Characters edit see section history

• Roman Draganesti: a vampire; head of his own company, Romatech; scientist; Coven Master of the East Coast vampires
• Shanna Whelan: a human dentist; she works under the name of Jane Wilson.
• Laszlo Veszto: meek and mild scientist vampire
• Gregori Holstein: young vampire; the vice president of marketing for Romatech Industries.
• Ivan Petrovsky: villain vampire trying to destroy Roman and his do-good vampires, head of the Malcontent Russian-American vampires
• Angus MacKay: Head of a Vampire security agency, turned by Roman long ago
• Katya: one of Ivan's harem
• Jean-Luc Echarpe: French swordsman, vampire, turned by Roman many years ago, fashion designer
• Radinka Holstein: Gregori's human mom, personal assistant to Roman
• Galina: One of Ivan's harem, as a human, a prostitute
• Alyssa: human CIA operative working to rid the world of vampires under Sean
• Casimir: Evil vampire who changed Roman
• Phil Jones: One of the day security guards, protects vampires at night
• Sean Whelan: Shanna's human father, works for the CIA
• Connor Buchanan: one of the night security guards working for Roman.
• Stesha Bratsk: the local Russian mafia boss who wants Shanna dead.
• Ian MacPhie: one of the night security guards working for Roman.
• Maggie O’Brian: one of the women in Roman's "harem".
• Simone: one of the women in Roman's "harem".
• Vanda Barkowski: one of the women in Roman's "harem".
• Darcy Newhart: one of the women in Roman's "harem".
• Bob Mendoza: a federal marshal.
• Alek: one of Ivan's vampires.
• Vladimir: one of Ivan's vampires.
• Todd Spencer: Vice-president of production.
• Austin: he works for the CIA with Sean.
• Garrett: he works for the CIA with Sean.
• Alyssa: she works for the CIA with Sean Whelan

Quotes edit see section history

• “She was cute and tiny, but her clunky black shoes made her walk like a water buffalo.”

• “What's he supposed to do, waltz into a dental office and say, 'Excuse me, I'm a vampire and I lost a fang in the neck of a sex toy.'”

  Gregori

• “Did you come here to to kill me?" "No." "Innocent enough for me. Come on.”

  Shanna & Roman

• “Why are you sitting here, all alone in the dark?" "Hmm. Tough question. I suppose I wanted to be alone. And in the dark.”

  Gregori and Roman

• “Listen to me. No vampire has ever done more than you to protect the living and tame the cravings within us." "And now we're the most well-behaved pack of demonic creatures on Earth. Bravo. Call the pope. I'm ready for sainthood.”

  Gregori and Roman

• “She's incapable of speech." "Well, duh! Once you kill someone, they tend to be lousy conversationalists.”

  Shanna and Roman

• “There are armaments stashed throughout the house. When I say you are safe, I mean it. Need I elaborate?”

  Roman

• “Besides, I was very lucky tonight. Just when I needed one, I found a guardian angel." "Do not think that of me. I am far from… I am hopeless.”

  Shanna and Roman

• “Oh, poor baby! Trapped in an evil custom against your will. Wait a minute, I think my eyes are tearing up. Oh no. False alarm. Probably allergies.”

  Shanna to Roman

• “She strode inside and shut the door. Roman might have survived the Great Vampire War of 1710, but he was about to face an even worse terror. A mortal female in full rage.”

  Shanna

• “I, uh-I was unable to gain control of her mind.” “Snap! You couldn’t control one measly mortal?” “No.” “Snap!” “Why the hell are you snapping? Are you a turtle?”

  Roman, Gregori

• “And if they doona believe we're peaceful, then we'll have to kill the bastards.”

  Angus MacKay

• “I left some diet cola and brownies by her door. They disappeared, so she must be all right.”

  Connor

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• “At least, you no longer want to shoot me.” “Yeah, that’s always a positive sign in any relationship.”

  Highlighted by 25 Kindle customers

• “And if they doona believe we’re peaceful, then we’ll have to kill the bastards.”

  Highlighted by 20 Kindle customers

• You do this not out of pride, but out of love. And since love comes from the Father, He has not abandoned you.” Roman scoffed. “You do not understand the magnitude of my sins.” “Perhaps you do not understand the magnitude of God’s forgiveness.”

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• “I’m too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my fangs. Too sexy.”

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• I bet that poor girl in the trunk could say a lot about your special talents.” “She’s incapable of speech.” “Well, duh! Once you kill someone, they tend to be lousy conversationalists.”

  Highlighted by 18 Kindle customers

• Did he place an ad in the paper—Wanted: small army of kilted Highlanders?

  Highlighted by 17 Kindle customers

• “If you ever want to upset him, just tell him disco is dead.”

  Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers

• Another accent? Good God, she was trapped inside the International House of Nutcakes.

  Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers

• Life can really stink sometimes. You can either laugh about it or cry, and sometimes I’d just rather laugh.”

  Highlighted by 9 Kindle customers

• “Oh, poor baby! Trapped in an evil custom against your will. Wait a minute, I think my eyes are tearing up.” Shanna held up her hands and waited a few seconds. “Oh no. False alarm. Probably allergies.” He scowled at her. “More likely indigestion from your acidic wit.”

  Highlighted by 7 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• New York: where Romatech Security has its HQ.

Organizations edit see section history

• Malcontents: Malcontents were the most dangerous group of vampires in existence. The secret society called themselves the True Ones and spurned the more evolved sensibilities of the modern-day Vamp. For them, the thrill of drinking blood was not the blood itself. These creatures lived for the bite. They believed nothing could replace the intense pleasure of sinking one's fangs into the warm, pliant skin of a mortal's neck.
• Romatech Industries: Manufacturer and distributor of synthetic blood, for hospitals and clinics around the world for human use, as well as food for vampires. Research and development site for vampire needs, products, including DNA research.
• MacKay Security and Investigations: "MacKay S & I"
• Digital Vampire Network: "DVN"

First Sentence edit see section history

Table of Contents edit see section history

Series & Lists edit see section history

Followed by Vamps and the City.

Followed by Vamps and the City.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Kerrelyn Sparks (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Awards edit see section history

• PRISM Award (2006: Light Paranormal Category)
• Borders Bestselling Debut Author (2006)
• Texas Gold Award (Contemporary/Mainstream Category)
• Anne Bonney Readers’ Choice Award (Most Humorous Category)
• One of Borders Best Romances of 2005

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: CPB Box no. 2380 vol. 13
• Dewey: 813.6

Notes for Parents edit see section history

Sexually explicit material

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Romance › Fantasy, Futuristic & Ghost
• Books › Romance › Contemporary
• Books › Romance › Vampires
• Books › Romance › Authors, A-Z › ( S )

Links to Supplemental Material edit see section history

• Kerrelyn Sparks: Author's webpage